Children take a car and kick the front row of seats. Parents calmly look at their mobile phones. Experts talked about how parents teach their children to understand politeness.

China Youth Network, Beijing, July 22 (Reporter Li Huaxi) According to media reports, recently, in Huangshi, Hubei, a child continued to kick the front seats on the high -speed rail, and the parents next to them calmly played their mobile phones. The video photographer said that it feels strange that normal parents are afraid that their children will affect others. Children who do not understand politeness must discipline, at least tell the children's behavior right or wrong.

The news caused netizens' heated discussion on disciplined children's rude behavior. So, what are the methods of children and parents in this news? How do parents teach their children to understand politeness? How should parents stop when there are impolite behaviors? What are the misunderstandings of parents in the process of discipline their children? Yin Fei, an associate professor at the School of Psychology of Nanjing Normal University and deputy dean of the Family Education Research Institute of Psychological College of Nanjing Normal University to support parents.

Parents should pay attention to the development of children's moral education and behavior habits

Yin Fei said that although the child cannot accurately judge the age of the child, from the perspective of the child's leg length and behavior, the children in the video should be the age of the large class in kindergarten. In the education environment, we should be able to understand social rules and know that right or wrong.

"From the video, this child continues to violate the common living norms of social public space for a long time. If the child does not have physical and mental development disorders, there is a probability that parents have deviations on their children's daily education behavior."

The parents in the video only care about the mobile phone, and the whole process did not see the persuasion and stopping the child's improper behavior. Yin Fei analyzes that there are several possibilities of parents' indulgence in their children: first, without guidance, that is, raising and not teaching. Discipline, in the end, parents gave up their discipline of their children. "No matter what kind of possibility, it reflects the parent's lack of family education for children."

"Children do not comply with social morality and parents' unconsciousness and lack of ways to educate their children in public, which has promoted us to attract sufficient attention." To this end, he called on parents Development, attach importance to the update of family education concepts, the learning of family education knowledge, and the improvement of family education capabilities.

How do parents teach their children to understand politeness?

The news of "children kicking front seats" reflects children's lack of polite education. Yin Fei believes that etiquette etiquette is a necessary rule for people to communicate with each other, and their behavioral requirements in specific situations. Educating children to understand politeness is to teach children to act on different occasions on different occasions.

So, how should parents teach their children to understand politeness? He suggested that the methods of education for children are different from schools. Its principles are in line with the basic characteristics of family education, namely life, randomness and sustainability.

First of all, we must teach life. Yin Fei suggested that parents educate their children to understand politeness through picture books and other materials, but the most important material is a real life. At least the polite behavior of treating people at the Society of Life Affairs, such as guiding children to understand the etiquette with neighbors in community life, and knowing how to leave the house is public space, we must abide by public order and public morality. "Children in the news are in travel. Parents failed to grasp the child's education opportunities to effectively guide their children."

Followed by random education. Yin Fei said that the school's education is purposeful, planned, organized, and family education is random. This is the principle of complementing life. Parents generally do not summarize and analyze their children after their child transit. Most of the teaching is to conduct timely random education for their children when they have certain behaviors. Educational literacy and value concept.

He analyzed that parents in the news are likely to not realize the problem of children's behavior. In her consciousness, children may be small and do not need to educate so early. "Or think I spent money, children can't control it in their seats. Even parents think that children should give them freedom and let them grow along the nature."

Finally, persistent education. Yin Fei answered parents' questions on the Internet for a long time. He found that many parents would persuade and guide their children, but they usually just reminded or helped for a while, but the children could not abide by parents soon Teaching, at this time, many parents will give up discipline and cannot insist on requesting and training their children.

He believes that the polite behavior of children needs to practice, and it is called "developing education" in education. It does not rely on language requirements, or continuously. To develop a child's understanding of politeness, parents need persistence and persistent guidance and requirements.

How should parents stop when there are impolite behaviors?

Yin Fei believes that when children are impolite, parents must persuade and help according to their age characteristics, and summarize the following principles and methods.

The first is the principle agreed in advance. When the child is young, parents should guide the next scene in advance. He believes that parents in the news should communicate with their children in advance. They are public spaces on the train. They cannot make a loud noise. They can whisper to parents and do not affect others. Polite; you cannot affect others in the seat, such as do not play with small table boards, do not kick seats, etc. "With an early agreement, immature children can prepare for the scenes they meet, avoiding the children's unhappy behavior caused by the unconsciousness and not knowing how to cope with the new environment." Second, the principle of reminding the principle in time. With an agreement, children will not be able to do it because of their age or habit. When the child fails to do it in public, parents should give them a reminder again in time. Or children who have forgotten the rules because of the change of time can get timely help. Remind and help to strengthen children's awareness and polite behavior in a timely manner. "Children in the news, if parents can remind and help in time, the child may probably converge their own impolite behavior."

The third is to adhere to the principle of help. Yin Fei said that indeed some children will have waywardness or challenge their parents' requirements. At this time, they should insist on giving children a powerful help. Therefore, the parents in the news, if the child does not accept the teaching, will give up helplessly, and give up the responsibility of teaching the child. At this time, you can take the wayward child to the space not affecting others. Once again, he explained the truth with your child. After the child realizes the problem Wait. "If the child violates the rules again, he should patiently insist on bringing the child out. In this way, the child will slowly improve the understanding of the rules and gradually improve the self -control ability."

In the process of discipline children, parents are prone to two major misunderstandings

Yin Fei said that whether it is the unconsciousness of education or the incomparable education, many parents have the lack of education concepts and methods. In the process of disciplined their children, parents are also prone to two major misunderstandings.

The first is to misunderstand the nature. Many parents do not teach their children's impolite behavior and intervention, which stems from their misunderstanding of "protecting children's nature". They may love reading and study family education, but they will misunderstand the content of learning in their studies. The active and curious, these are inherent, and what is born is not required to interfere and teach.

Yin Fei believes that the development process of human beings is generally in nature and teaching, and there is no good or bad nature. Teaching and correcting the parts that are not suitable for common life in nature, such as disregarding the feelings of others, as much as you want, and retaining the nature of nature by teaching teaching. The side of Zhongshan, the side of cooperation, the self -centered side of the destroyed, self -centered. Otherwise, children can easily become the barbaric people in a civilized society when they grow.

Followed by misunderstanding of self -control. Yin Fei said that there are other parents who think that as long as they give their children the absolute freedom, they will form self -control. This is a typical expansion and misunderstanding of psychoanalysis psychological theory. They believe that people's bad behaviors come from suppression. As long as they do not control their children and do not suppress their children, they do not need to express their energy and vitality by destroying the rules.

He believes that self -control is not born, it requires external norms; it is not unprepared, but in the end to rely on his internal conscious internalization of the specifications and requirements of the outside world. Therefore, parents should help their children self -control through behavioral requirements, and then supplemented with exchanges and discussions to help children improve their cognition, so as to achieve both internal and external cultivation, behavior training and internal conscious interaction. "Parents in the news must first understand the child's polite behavior that requires education guidance, and continuous education guidance needs to cultivate children into civilized people in a civilized society."

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