The company is 10 minutes away from home, but my husband always stays at the company and does not go home. I want to divorce

Talk:

Hello Mom Mom, my husband and I have a better relationship in the past. However, since the birth of a child, the contradiction has never been broken.

The reason may be complicated. The first is that he does not help share the affairs of bringing children. At first, my mother -in -law came to help, but I did very little. Only I was alone from morning to night, often at 12 o'clock in the night.

I told him, but he only said, "My mother can't ask anything, I can't help it."

Also, he returned home at 12 o'clock on his working day. He said that he was busy. In addition to eating on weekends, he also went out at other times. He had little time to help take the child. He always said that he would not.

I have also made trouble with him, and he was a little better. He could help wash a bottle or something, but he still likes to return late. I told him that no one should be able to go home at 12 o'clock every day like you.

Later, my mother came to help. His mother returned to her hometown. My mother helped me share a lot of things. I felt a lot easier. But after my mother came, my husband did less things. My mother thought for me. It doesn't matter if he gang. But the contradictions in the past were still in my heart like a thorn.

Now that the child is older, it is a lot easier to bring. However, some of my husband's behavior is really unbearable and uncomfortable.

He only returned every morning every morning, however, he was more than 6 o'clock, sometimes 10 o'clock. It only takes 10 minutes to walk home from the unit, but he often chooses to sleep directly in the unit dormitory, and at the beginning he did not come back to sleep, did not say a word to me, and didn't consider my feelings at all. I was really angry and noisy with him, he learned to report to me.

Moreover, he had to go to the dormitory to sleep after eating at noon on the weekend. He said that he could not sleep well at home. He was quiet in the dormitory. He could sleep for several hours and did not sleep at home. In fact, he wanted to sleep in the dormitory at night, but I disagreed, so he returned to sleep at night.

In addition, he called his mother to send a red envelope, but he deliberately hid me, and told me that he was lacking in money. I have always trusted him, but he deceived me. I didn't agree with him to give money at home. I hated others to lie to me. Since then I have no longer trust him.

Since giving birth to a child, he has rarely cared about me and will not be considerate. He is very good to the child, although he accompanies very little. I think in his eyes, it doesn't matter if the husband and wife relationship does not need to take time. I told him many times that marriage takes time to operate. But there is nothing to use at all. What is the use of enthusiasm for me?

Every time I find him to chat, he doesn't want to talk or talk to me. Except for asking the children, we are basically nothing to say. I think this life is very boring and want to end such a relationship. But hesitated again, because his son (more than 1 year old) liked his dad, and sometimes he didn't want me to hold when he came back, and no one would be as good as him as him.

reply:

You can feel that after your child is born, you have taken a lot of effort, and you are also enthusiastic about your husband to give you a lot of love and attention like love and getting married at the beginning of marriage. But after there is a baby, the gap is very large, complaining.

However, from your 1 -year -old son likes dad very much, and he is with his children very little. You still determine that he is good to the child. In terms of these two details, I think your husband is not really a person who does not understand love and love incompetence. Essence Because the younger the younger child, the more accurate intuition. I think your deadlock may have a breakthrough.

Let's analyze why he doesn't want to go home. The most likely reason is:

First of all, your mother came to live with you, and took most of the housework. Your husband could not find a sense of presence at home, and he could not find the freedom to be a "master". The family became "you and your mother". Native family. It's not surprising that many mothers also wrote to say that her mother -in -law moved to live with each other, so she didn't want to go home.

Regarding the question of not being actively doing housework and consciousness, I think there must be a cause. After all, you have the emotional foundation before, and men are not monsters that have mutations at any time and judge two people at any time.

I guess, you may also have this characteristic like many mothers:

That is, there is a particular work in my eyes, and I am rushing to do everything, and then I still feel that my husband should be the same as himself, realizing the existence and necessity of these "lives". If the husband does not do it, I feel that my husband is intentional. I don't care.

But to be honest, my husband is not a twin with you, not so strong. Many times, in their eyes, "invisible" work, or feel that many jobs can be done or not, but they are worried that you will "find out the work" at any time, accusing him of not doing it. , Anxious, who wants to go home?

To solve this problem, I think that instead of constantly blaming her husband to do less, it is better to learn to let themselves go, do less than husbands, or let her husband pay for housekeeping, and it is balanced. Or from the beginning, find a man who is more willing to do housework than himself.

As for making money for my mother to hide from you, I don't think you need to go online. You said, "I don't agree with him to give money at home." It seems that the four houses are equal to "disagreement".

In order to avoid conflicting with you, the most troubled approach is of course "hiding you".

In the end, many mothers once talked about "my husband is unwilling to chat and communicate with himself", but many times, please ask himself first, can I count on people who can chat? When I describe one thing, is it highlighting? Is the point of view clear? Is the topic I built interesting? If the other party expresses a different point of view, can I switch to the listening mode in time, isn't it impatient? Communication and dumping emotional garbage are two different things.

Furthermore, your marriage ideal of marriage, especially the requirements for emotional concentration, is very different. The "more chat, more interaction and more sharing" you want is a burden. How quiet.

These are not right or wrong. If you blame each other and dislike each other, the more you are more and more rigid. Movies, stay for a certain time to allow him to be alone.

Of course, all my analysis above is not going to take off for your husband, nor is it blame you for not doing well.

I just try to explain the feelings and moods that your husband may be in from the perspective of general human characteristics, and provide a "his perspective" for your reference.

If you think that you can get along with your husband, you really cannot reach a "compromise method". This relationship does make you pain, and you can choose to divorce.

A gynecologist friend who had a gynecologist once made a golden sentence: tolerate ovarian cysts and take a step back in breast hyperplasia. It means that the root cause of many gynecological diseases is actually a long -term negative emotion from women.

Therefore, Tao Zima has always advocated that women should not be tolerated too much and wronged.

I asked from my heart: Is my husband important compared to health? Is marriage important?

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