Why is it desolate in life?Parents, these three bottom lines must be kept!

A few days ago, I watched a short film and couldn't be calm for a long time.

A girl, when I was a horse when I was a kid, the toy in the window, the father satisfied her one by one;

When she grows up, she wants cruise ships, trains, and submarines, and her father can work hard to satisfy her;

Later, in order to marry a singer, the girl forced her father to buy luxury homes and sports cars.

After she married, the elderly parents spent all their lives and moved into a low bungalow, intending to settle in their old age.

Unexpectedly, one day, the girl threw her child to her parents to raise it, and then turned indifferently away.

This is the famous irony animation short film- "willful life".

In this helpless and sad story, people often blame girls to be ignorant. As everyone knows, what she does is given by her parents.

Without the pampering of the pampering of the parents, why does the child ask for infinitely?

Without the excessive protection of parents, how can children know that it is not easy to survive. Do you know how to cherish it?

Many parents work for their children, but the ending is like the father in the short film.

In fact, parents and children know each other.

Picture source: panorama vision

Learn to let go and let your children stand independently

There is a "100%theory" in psychology.

Refers to one thing, if you do 20%, then the child will do the remaining 80%. If you do 80%, the child will only do 20%.

If you do everything, the child will not do anything.

Over time, the more you live, the more tired you are, and your children also lose their ability to survive independently in the lack of experience.

From the media@自 自 自 自, I have told such a real story.

There is an old couple who still work everywhere after retirement.

The old lady was cleaning, and the old man opened a tourist bus.

The two elderly people did not dare to stop working for a moment, just to support their "never grow".

After graduating from college, the old couple's son has been working at home after graduating, and only knows to play games and takeaway every day.

For the son's "old man", the old couple also hit and scolded, but it was still not available.

In a quarrel, my son said angrily, "You think I can do nothing, but you don't let me do anything, what can I do?"

It turned out that the old couple was such a son who had always been cared for it, but also excessive protection.

What is small to eat and what to wear?

They thought that they had paid so much effort, and their son's life would be smooth.

Unexpectedly, it was now the fields.

Picture source: panorama vision

"Today's Psychology" wrote:

"Make every decision for children, including the clothes they wear, exact time for homework, and who they can play with, will eliminate their desire to make decisions."

Everything is done by helping the children. On the surface, it is love for children.

Growth is a process of repeated trial and error and challenging themselves. Only when a person has experienced can it grow and even mature.

The famous educator Cai Xiaowan shared his own childcare past.

His child was obsessed with martial arts and had to go to Shaolin Temple to learn martial arts. Seeing the child's stubbornness, Cai Xiaowan said, "If you really want to learn martial arts, then write a determination book."

After the child was happy to write, he was sent to the martial arts school.

But just two months, the child couldn't stand it and wanted to come back to study.

But Cai Xiaoyan resolutely disagreed, he said, "You must persist, otherwise you are irresponsible to your choice."

Later, the child insisted on studying for a semester before being picked up by Cai Xiaowan.

With this lesson, the child understands that people must make decisions independently, and they must be responsible for their own decisions.

Cai Xiaowan is a typical "60 -point parent". He understands when he should let go, and discipline it when discipline.

Parents learn to let go, so that children can grow into towering trees in the wind and rain.

Proper rejection, do what you do

Some time ago, the urban emotional drama "Chasing the Love Family" was hit, and Qi Tian in the play was angry.

In order to pursue the goddess who has been secretly loved for 10 years, he forced his father to buy a house for himself, and it took 10 million to speak.

Seeing his father hesitated, he was afraid of the two brothers to stop. Qi Tian actually directed and performed a farce, forging the fire at home, pretending to be dying.

Unexpectedly, this trick was really used. Dad was distressed and agreed to buy a house.

Dad Qi not only intends to sell the ancestral house where he has lived for generations, but also helped Qi Tian to persuade the other two sons to give up the right to inherit the inheritance.

He is just a retired teacher. As soon as he sold his ancestral house, he didn't even live in a place, but he couldn't refuse Qitian.

As a result, before the house was sold, Qi Tian was thrown by the goddess. He complained that his father said, "You just can't see me. If you buy a house early, you will not be thrown. I hate you, hate this Family."

In a word, he hurt Dad Qi.

Educator Macarianke once said:

"Everything is given to the child, for the child to sacrifice everything, this is the most terrible gift for the parents!"

Nourishing children never satisfy them, but to help children adapt to this society.

Parents should respond to their children, and the child's desire will infinitely expand until it is swallowed.

Remember the "foreign student killing mother case" that had a sensation across the country?

Wang Jiajing, a 24 -year -old international student, has been supported by his mother for 5 years in Japan. Every time I ask for money, my mother said nothing, how much to give, seeing Wang Jiajing's consumption is getting higher and higher, so the mother started to vomit and want to refuse.

I don't want to think that when the mother didn't give money, Wang Jiajing stabbed her mother alive.

The reporter's investigation found that Wang Jiajing's family was not good, but his mother was very favored by him. Like Dad Qi, he was a "responding" parent.

Stanford University has a famous "Candy Experiment".

Psychologist Walter found a group of children and put a sugar in front of them.

Then tell them: If you can wait for 15 minutes, you will get two candy. If you can't do it, there is only one.

As a result, only 10%of children can wait for a while, and most people choose to eat candy immediately.

Twenty years later, after a follow -up survey, these 10%of children have a better life performance.

It can be seen that the "delay and satisfaction" of desire is how important it is to the growth of a person.

As a parent, you should also learn to refuse properly, do your best, and delay the various requirements of your children.

Only in this way can they learn to restrain their desires and rely on themselves.

Early rules, keep the bottom line

A few days ago, two news was brushed by chance.

One was that the two boys threw stones on the 18th floor. Seeing who threw it far, it broke the sunroof of a car.

The owner called the police, and then people found that there were children's high -altitude parabolic.

The police criticized their children and parents and fined them. But netizens couldn't sit still, and they all said, "That's it? Children are abominable, parents are even more abominable!"

Another news was that a boy took the elevator, kicked off the control panel in the elevator, and revealed to his companion.

As netizens said: "Behind the bear child, there must be a bear parent!"

In fact, every child comes to this world like white paper.

If parents do not tell them what they can do and what they can't do, they will never know the rules of being a human, the bottom line of doing things.

I have seen such a small story.

There is a group of cattle on the wild, eating grass every day. One day, a calf wanted to make a farther, walking, and encountered an almost invisible line.

There is electricity on this line, so scared that the calf hurried back and stopped.

The Mavericks knew that there were really things that the world could not go and could not do.

Picture source: panorama vision

I really agree with a sentence in "Courage to Discipline":

"If there is a railing on the edge of the cliff, then people dare to look down by the railing, because they will not be afraid to fall; if there is no railing, everyone will stop at a far away from the cliff, let alone stand on the cliff Looking down on the edge. The railing is the boundary. Children knowing the boundaries will have a sense of security. On the contrary, children with no boundaries have no sense of security because he does not know where the safety scale is. "

Whether it is the wire on the field or the railing by the cliff, we are all concluded by the rules and are also protected by the rules.

"No rules are not round", and there are visionary parents who know how to give their children rules.

So how to give children rules? Education experts have given 3 suggestions:

1. It should be early or late.

In the live broadcast room of "home -school and community", Zhang Mianting, vice chairman of the Education Society, said:

"Parents' educational effectiveness of children's educational effects on food packaging is valid."

Regarding the rules, he pointed out that before the age of 3, "the most effective", "effective" before the age of 6, and "valid" before the age of 10 ...

Therefore, parents should not miss the "golden period" of their children's growth, and educate children should not be late.

2. Mild and firm.

Facing the "bear child", the parent's approach below is worth learning from.

A child poured ink downstairs from his own window, causing many neighbors to be dirty on the balcony.

After the parents know, they not only let the children review in the owner's group, but also wash the dirty clothes with their children.

Throughout the process, the parents of the child did not blame their children, but gently and firmly put the facts and make sense.

Communicating with children, parents need to be rigid and soft and relaxed.

Picture source: panorama vision

3. Give full play to example.

Some people say that if the family is a copy paper, the child is a copy, the parent is the original.

What is the finished product depends on the quality of the original.

The child is a mirror of a parent, which will imitate and reflect the words and deeds of the parents.

If you want your child to abide by the rules, parents must play a role model for example, lead by example, and do their best.

"Family Education" says: "The rules of freedom are lively, free of freedom of freedom."

Only in the rules can children complete their cognition of the world and self, and become a three -view and educated person.

Education is a long practice. The future of children and the ending of their parents are actually hidden in the triviality of daily life.

The love son of parents is far -reaching.

Parents who truly love their children know how to let the children fight, dare to reject children, and be willing to restrain their children.

They will use their own words and deeds, in the children's world, moisturizing is silent.

Picture source: panorama vision

Just as a philosopher Karl Yasberg said:

"The essence of education is a tree shaking another tree, one cloud pushes another cloud, and one soul awakens the other soul."

Clicking on "watching" the parents of the world can be stable and far away on the road to education; I hope that children in the world can appreciate the parents' boxing hearts.

mutual encouragement.

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