@All parents, well -known class teachers summarize 10 kinds of parent -child communication strategies, there is always one suitable for you!

Many problems of family education are in the final analysis of parent -child communication. The new semester has begun. Parents should take the initiative to take good parent -child communication classes. Harmony parent -child relationships will help children's life and learning. Today, I will share 10 kinds of parent -child communication strategies. Wu Xiaoxia, a well -known class teacher, has experienced a good way to summarize it.

The quality of communication between parents and children determines the quality of the child's growth. However, the growing the child, the more difficult the parents communicate with the child, and sometimes it is not compatible with water and fire. In fact, communication requires the correct strategy and methods to form efficient communication.

01

How to avoid children from fighting with parents

—— "Non -black or white put down the technique"

When a child confronts our parents because of something, if we forcibly adopt the "non -black or white" communication method, it will only let the child resist. Take the game as an example as an example. If we say: "You must put down the game today and do homework, otherwise you will not go to school to study, play the game every day!" Immediately said, "If you don't read, don't read it, I don't want to read anyway."

At this time, let go of the persistence and let go of the expression of "non -black or white":

The first step describes the facts. The situation I saw objectively and fairly: "You play the game today, from 8 am to 13 o'clock, it has been played for 5 hours."

Step 2, express concern. You can express your concerns at this time. Make your child feel your love: "I am worried that it will be bad for your body and affect your body and spine."

The third step is to provide options. When turning the requirements into several options and letting children decide by themselves, this will enhance the child's initiative and sense of responsibility. At the same time, pay attention to the requests to be feasible. For example, when children play mobile phones without writing homework, then we can provide choices as parents. "You see if you do your homework first or play your phone first? I believe you are a sensible child, know how to choose."

Step 4, express reference. In the end, we can say to the child, "Of course, I think it may be ... to do this method, it may be more useful, or you can try it?" This method is easier to accept children. Don't say, "You must ... do! Otherwise ..." This will only cause children to confront.

02

How to effectively make suggestions for children

—— Three -layer superimposed pad

Nowadays, children have lived in praise since childhood. Sometimes they can't listen to the criticism of others, which will produce a natural defense state to protect themselves. Once the child has a defense state, any opinion is invalid. Some children even It will become sensitive because of the criticism of parents. So how can I subtly give advice to my children?

The first step is to feed a "Shunqi Pill". When we make suggestions for children, pay attention to time and occasions, especially to observe the state of the child. Then give the child care, recognition, appreciation, or in a very relaxed and humorous atmosphere, in a state of joy and peace, then take the next step.

The second step is to discuss the "deformation". Then, in a discussion, make suggestions with the child in a discussion tone. For example: "Son, I have an idea to discuss with you, can't you see it?" Sometimes, deciding whether the child listened to the key to the suggestion, not whether our point of view is correct, but the tone and attitude of parents and children when making suggestions. At the same time, inspire children by discussion step by step, guide children to accept suggestions.

The third step is to "label" on the front. After the discussion is completed, we need to actively encourage and label the child, such as: "I believe that my son can correct it and it will become more and more excellent!" "My child is originally a person who knows how to continuously improve himself!"

In this way, three steps are not hurting the parent -child feelings nor damaging the child's self -esteem. The key is to subtly make suggestions, which is easy to let the child accept it happily and move slowly.

03

How to avoid blame children

—— Divide door filtering

Each parent has anticipation and hope for the child. Therefore, when the child's performance does not conform to his inner expectations, he is easy to be angry, angry, and accusing the child. This leads to the child feels that in the eyes of parents, I can't do anything! Therefore, the parent -child relationship is tight, alienated, and opposite. So how to change?

The first step is to observe the child. Observe the child, what aspects are aspects of anger and accusations.

Step 2, objective record. Record all the behaviors of the child about this incident, and record the child's behavior without any emotional colors. For example: don't get up early in the morning, don't record it: laziness. It is simply and objectively record things.

The third step, rational classification. Divide everything that makes us unhappy into three categories. One type is not seriously ignored. Such problems are not serious and do not affect children's growth. For example, children like to wear only black clothes. This does not affect the growth of children, and parents can ignore. The second category is serious and unacceptable behavior. This generally involves bottom line issues or values, affecting children's future problems. For example: children bully people, children disrespect to others. Such issues should be very important. The third category is worthy of promoting light. Every child has advantages, no matter what, there is a positive side. So we have to find positive energy.

The fourth step is to treat layers. When we communicate with our children, we must know how to treat them. First, it is worthy of carrying forward the gazing behavior and praise; it is not harsh on the behavior that is not serious, and this type of behavior can not be mentioned in front of the child; then seriously and seriously correct serious and unacceptable behaviors. In this way, when communicating with children, children are easy to accept and will not affect parent -child relationships. 04

How to alleviate the parent -child relationship of water and fire

—— Preset script dialogue

Some parents and children's parent -child relationships reaches the incompatibility of water and fire, some completely refuse to communicate, and some start a battle. At this time, how to open this deadlock can use "script dialogue".

The first step is to prepare "script". Parents can reflect the presets in advance. The theme, content, and goals of this conversation should be expressed to the child, how to talk to the child's bottom line, talk about requirements, etc., and what will happen in the conversation. One time. This can avoid emotional out of control during communication.

Step 2, agreed dialogue. This requires parents to find a suitable time and right place, including the atmosphere of setting up dialogue, etc. If the child is required to talk about it now, the parents should not compromise at this time, and according to the agreed time, so that both parties have psychological preparation, buffer and preparation. space.

The third step is to state the facts. Chatting with children in a way, pay attention to the attitude of equality and peace, to be sure of the child, and at the same time state the child’s specific questions, and ask the parents' hope. Use the method of attack and need to inquire about the child's opinion sincerely.

The fourth step is to solve the problem. Then, we need to make it clear that the purpose of parents is to solve the problem, not to blame the child. Therefore, this process must accept children's emotions, understand how to listen, rejoice, respond, and discuss with children to solve problems.

The fifth step is to reach an agreement. At this time, the plan to discuss with the child and reach an agreement, and then you need to follow up and implement it. Parents can propose: "Since we are discussing well, we must implement it in accordance with the agreement!"

In this way, parents and children can avoid serious conflicts and will not be affected by the emotions of both parties.

05

How to communicate if you can't say

—— Writing Stupid Surprise

When we can't communicate with our children language, or if there is something inconvenient to say in person, we can all use the way of writing. When the child receives such a note, he is as happy as a letter.

The first step is to write a stool. First of all, our parents can choose paper, can be a general paper, a carefully selected stationery paper, or a special notebook. Write the content that parents want to communicate, and pay attention to the way of chatting, so that the two sides have no pressure.

The second step is to put the stool. We can put it in a conspicuous position, the child's room, let the child find it, surprise the child, or tell the child directly: "Mom today wrote you to put it on the table." Let the child look forward to it.

Step 3, follow -up consolidation. When the child looks at the note, we can observe the child's performance and think about the next communication content. You can also ask your child to reply to the content on the stuff to form continuous communication of the stuff.

The fourth step, long -term persistence. As a way of writing, we can persist for a long time to form a habit to make parents and children closer.

06

How can we turn the praise children into encouragement

——The highlight details empowerment

In life, we must be good at discovering the advantages of children, do not praise and praise the children, and learn to turn praise into encouragement.

The first step is good at discovering details. We can't praise the children in general, "You are really smart!" Instead, we discover the details of the child's details, and to praise the specifics. For example: "My daughter can be serious when writing homework."

The second step, the specific description process. Then, we can specifically describe the praise process. "To what extent is our daughter serious? Today, the sound of talking downstairs is so loud, and we haven't turned around to take a look."

The third step is to give special significance. When we praise our children, we can give a meaning to encourage children. For example: "I can turn around and see, but it has a strong self -control ability!"

The fourth step is to guide new actions. When we give children a certain significance, and we have to give the child a certain guidance behind, so as not to say "only to say, not to the ground." For example: "I believe that our daughter can persist for a long time, not only to do homework, other aspects, but also so! For example, I can control myself to play with my mobile phone and be able to sleep without sleep. That's not ordinary! "

07

How to correctly criticize your children to listen to

——Fuxtile efficiency technique

Parents criticize their children. The purpose is to make the child correct the mistakes and let the child take it orally. Instead of venting emotions, so how to criticize is effective, then we use the "five -minute effect":

The first step is to calm down in one minute. As a parent, we must deal with our emotions first and let ourselves calm down, otherwise if you say something that vent your emotions, you will not only solve the problem, but also pour oil on the fire. You can really help your child find the wrong cause and correction method.

Step 2, one minute of presentation. After the child makes a mistake, we should not rush to let the child admit their mistakes, but give him the opportunity to tell him the right to speak. Let the children say that they want to say everything, and we can understand the child's mistakes more and more comprehensive and objectively. For example, you can ask: "What happened, let's listen to my parents, okay?" And pay attention to giving the child patiently listening, and pay attention to responding to the child's feelings. The third step, one minute to correct. After listening to the child's statement, next, the child's wrong behavior should be stated, and it is necessary to see what is wrong with the truth. You can't just ask the child: "Wrong?" Let the child understand the reason why the mistake is wrong.

Step 4, one minute method. The purpose of criticism is to make corrections, so on the basis of pointing wrong, the correct strategy and methods need to be formed, otherwise you do not know what the next effective direction is.

Step 5, one minute comfort. After criticizing the child, we must also comfort and encourage the child to avoid children's immersive emotions. You can tell your child: "I know it is wrong, just correct it. I believe you are a smart child, and I will know what to do in the future."

08

How to reject children can be deterrent

——Four strong fixed force

In the process of communicating with the child, when the child's unreasonable requirements and unreasonable actions are encountered, if the child is accommodated again and again, the child will intensify and finally unpredictable. Therefore, we must know how to stop children and be good at rejecting children.

The first step, "Lion Roar Gong". When encountering unreasonable requirements for children, such as overwhelming mobile phones, we must be as deterrent as "Lion Roar Gong", and we must persist in attitude. Put your thoughts and requirements to the child accurately, and soberly express the boundaries and bottom lines.

The second step, "Cool Turtle". At this time, the rejected children will be unhappy, so we have to give children a calm space and time.

The third step, "Tiger Tiger". When the child's emotions are stable, we must slowly find something that can be replaced with the child, so we can discuss with the child to discuss specific conventions instead of unreasonable behavior.

The fourth step, "Raptors". Now that the convention has been formulated, next time, once we encounter similar things, we must perform the speed of "Raptors". In this way, our rejection can truly play the purpose of educating children.

09

How to make children willing to talk to their parents

—— "layer layer of onion" technique

When the child grows up, he has less and less thoughts with his parents, but he is endless in the face of his classmates. The parents were the closest to the children, but they became familiar strangers, which inevitably lost their parents. Then, we want children to open the words box, and we can try to peel it layer by layer like "peeling onions".

The first step is to hit the west. We can let the child go down the alert first, talk about other things, or our own affairs, and let the child are willing to talk. Or start with a broad topic. For example, if we want to know the state of the child's school, we can ask: "Who is the most naughty person in your class?" Then slowly opened the box.

The second step, feel the same. When the child chats with us, we have to stand at the angle of the child, feel his mood, and express the understanding of the parents. For example, the child said, "I don't know why learning is a bit difficult recently." Parents can be considerate: "You have to learn hard, are you a little sad and anxious, you don't know what to do?"

The third step is to follow good. When children slowly express ourselves, we have to ask more empathy: "What do you think?" "What can I help you do?" Make some children's willingness to talk.

The fourth step is to be happy. Chatting with children, we have to pay attention to children's mood, child's interest, and children's feelings, get closer to the psychological distance of the child, and then make some suggestions with reference value.

10

How to resolve the misunderstanding of children

——Frusing gratitude and apology

When your parents and children are on each other, you don't let me, I don't let you, and ignore each other, the parent -child relationship will fall into the Cold War, which will cause each other to resent each other. It is necessary to take the initiative to communicate and reconcile each other. Reconciliation is not a problem that can be solved if you are sorry, but it is important to understand each other, and you can grow up in this reconciliation. specific methods:

The first step is to express and understand. Use "I know ...", for example, "I know you still hope to achieve results in study."

Step 2, express gratitude. Use "thank you ..." "Thanks to you ...", for example, "thanks to you can tell your mother your own efforts, otherwise your mother will always misunderstand you."

The third step is to express. It is not easy to use "you are not easy", for example: "In fact, it can be done every day, it is still not easy."

The fourth step is to apologize. Use "I'm sorry", for example: "Mom didn't understand the situation in this matter, I'm sorry."

The fifth step is to express frankly. Expressing "why", for example: "Mom is also anxious because I saw your grades."

Step 6, express expectations. Expressing "I hope you more", for example: "So, mothers hope that you can master the learning method, such as spending more effort in English every day, and coming back to memorize words every day, so that you will make up the part of your decline."

Only by mastering the communication password with the child can we open the child's spiritual world, to form an emotional communication with the child, and the child can grow healthily and actively!Author of this article ｜ Wu Xiaoxia (the unit is the Caijia Campus of Chongqing and Shan Middle School)

Editor in charge ｜ Li Zi

Picture Design ｜ Wang Rongjia

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