The in -laws are poor "farmers". My husband spent money to search for 5 years.

Talk:

Tao Zi Mom, hello!

I have been paying attention to it for a long time, and I have a very troublesome problem recently, but I do n’t know who I can tell, I hope to get your answer, thank you!

My husband and I have been married for five years, and have a child after marriage. Both sides work are civil servants.

Her husband did housework at home, and basically didn't need to worry about family affairs. He daily hydropower and mixed fees were all undertaken.

I believe that when you see these, many people will feel that this is a template for a happy family.

But in fact, I have always been unsolved in my heart. The reason is that when I got married, I belonged to my husband.

My parents do business, and their income is not bad. His parents are farmers. Basically, there is no income and no pension.

Before marriage, he also quarreled for his parents.

But then I thought, anyway, they wouldn't live together anyway, they spent them, we passed us.

But now it seems how simple and naive the thought at the time was.

As the saying goes, marrying a person is equivalent to marrying this person's family. It is not fake at all. Unfortunately, everything is too late when I understand.

Although my husband was considerate in my life after marriage, when I involved some money problems, I felt that he was very sloppy.

Perhaps we have different growth living environment since childhood. Go to the supermarket to buy something. He must choose that cheap. He thinks it is cost -effective.

My idea is that the expensiveness must be expensive, and I will choose expensive.

For example, when I was pregnant and gave birth to a child, I wanted to buy a scarf of more than two thousand yuan as a gift to give myself to comfort myself in October, but he felt that there were more children spending money in the future.

There are more than two thousand scarves, as if more than 20,000 in his eyes.

The trivial things of these life made me feel more and more regret that they had married him.

Later, after the second child was born, his mother also came to help bring the baby. His mother had a better relationship with her personality. She hadn't quarreled with her for so long, and took her child with heart.

Sometimes I was thinking that although his family had no money, at least his mother would get along well, so don't think about it.

However, sometimes look at the circle of friends or go out to meet, and hear which classmates are married and which rich people are married. What kind of business is their parents doing business?

I usually pay attention to dressing myself. Once I was a friend and bridesmaid, and a boy wanted to ask me to WeChat. Later, others told him that I was married and did not add it.

My friend also said that the man also lived in the same community as my parents. The family was rich, but he was a divorced man.

I smiled on the surface, and felt that I got married too early ...

Look at my colleagues, live with my in -laws after marriage, water and electricity costs, children's milk powder diapers, and in -laws are all all inclusive;

Think of yourself again, after getting married, you have to subsidize your parents, and suddenly feel that you are pitiful.

Every time I quarrel with him, I won't let him, because I don't think I rely on you to live, and your parents can't help help.

In the past, he would coax me for the first time, but now the Cold War is gradually becoming more, and I don't know how to change my thoughts.

How to find that balance point in this marriage, please help me analyze it, thank you.

reply:

To sum up, your troubles are mainly:

1. Can't get used to the problem of "searching" in my husband, I ca n’t let you get old;

2. Envy and hate the "marrying a rich person".

In this regard, I just want to say: persuade you to be kind.

Your husband's family is not hidden before marriage. His parents are farmers. Is it the original sin of his parents?

If you feel unfair, you can not marry him, and no one can force you with a gun.

When you get married, you take the other person's unspeakable characteristics. Repeatedly, it is a proper rogue!

If there was another man who "have all his advantages, loves you like him, and is rich in family" pursuing you, would you still choose him?

It must not.

Why did you choose him? Because there are no better men to pursue you.

Although a friend's wedding, a wealthy man wants to add you WeChat, but this does not mean that he is a better marriage candidate than your husband.

He moved the idea of ​​adding your WeChat, or he was mistaken for your unmarried.

In other words, he believes that he is not worthy of "unmarried" you. If he is unmarried, will the request be higher? Still can't see you?

If he really married you, would you coax you everywhere like your husband?

If you are not reconciled, you might as well find out to see what conditions he is married.

Wake up, do you really think you are "marrying"? I really thought I had paid a lot for love?

In this marriage, you have nothing to lose anything, you are just greedy.

When your husband is flat, you have not calculated with you "You, Mine". Daily expenses take the initiative to take the initiative to take the initiative, do housework, or to you, this is the sincerity of "live a good life".

I don't agree with you to buy a 2,000 scarf, but only because "the child is born after the child is born."

But are there any problems with this?

What's more, should you buy a 2,000 scarf? The reference standard is not that you are not pregnant, but how much you earn.

You both are civil servants, and you must not be tight.

But you always want your parents to subsidize you, you can only say that you are likely to have no "output" rational consumption concept at all. As for the always "cost -effective" in the supermarket, this is determined by your husband's family conditions before.

But as long as he does not force you to "not buy expensive", there is nothing wrong.

You are accustomed to buying expensive, that is also because your parents will make money, and you have created a lot of consumption conditions for you.

You should also be proud of your parents. Why do you have a sense of superiority? Will you give birth?

Your parents have more money to give you, and you are happy to spend happily.

However, I think that my mother -in -law should support you with the same financial resources. If not, it is "owed you", it would be too much.

What's more, my mother -in -law brings you children, which is reasonable and very careful. Isn't these values?

Do you know how much salary of the gold medal nanny for a month in Beijing and Guangzhou?

You know that the real gold medal nanny is recommended by the employer to friends of the same circle after being served by the employer. It rarely flows into the housekeeping company at all. Is it impossible for ordinary people to invite?

Your husband's family is far less than you, but you can rely on your own efforts to have the same career level as you. It is likely to indicate that your mother -in -law is a high -quality mother and has a very high -quality parenting method.

And these qualities will continue to benefit your children, lay a good personality foundation for them, and lay a happy background of life. These are far more precious than the "Hua Yi Food" that you see in the circle of friends!

You said, every time you quarrel, you think, "I don't rely on you to live, and your parents have no money, why should I let me retreat?"

In other words, do you also recognize, "If you live by him, if you are rich in your in -laws, you will be eligible for you to bow your head and make you humble?"

These three views, which ancient tomb was unearthed?

If you think about it, you are like a princess, and your heart is still a female slave. Who are you and your husband?

Tao Zima has always been poisonous, and she said that she did not stand in the statement. She said straightforwardly, hoping to help you see the reality.

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