The best education for children is to be a 60 -point mother!|

Author | Fan Deng Reading Ao Kebai

I do n’t know if mothers have such a feeling. After having children, I ca n’t help anxious:

"Anxiety of childcare is not scientific enough"

"Anxiety does not create better learning conditions for children"

"Anxious to do it for the child is not enough ..."

Faced with learning, he was worried that he forced the child too tightly, but also was afraid of relaxing for a while.

Faced with individual cultivation, he hopes that children are obedient and sensible, but they are afraid they will not understand that they will refuse to be bullied.

Behind the mood of suffering, the mother worked hard to cultivate herself almost perfectly for her children.

But children, do you really need such a full -scale mother?

01

No need to be a 100 -point mother

A psychological counselor told a story: With such a mother, she insists on the concept of "good education to release children's nature".

Usually never blame children, even if the child loses his temper, he will patiently accept all emotions.

But in this state, the child has become more and more naughty and rebellious, and it has not developed at her preset.

The mother was in suspicion, but did not dare to express dissatisfaction. In the emotional internal consumption of emotional internal consumption day after day, she suffered from depression.

Worried that your emotions will have a bad impact on your child, so he would rather be wronged and maintain the surface harmony.

In the hit drama "Our Marriage", the workplace mother Shen Huixing played by Bai Lily, in order to balance the work and family, transformed into a "master of time management".

Even if the days when the company and the family ran were very hard, Shen Huixing still desperately supported and worked hard to be a good mother.

But the string is too tight, and after all, it will break.

One day, she made a good meal for her children, and she didn't care about it. She turned and started cleaning.

With a "pop", the two children quarreled with a chicken leg and fell the bowl to the ground.

She hurried over to clean up, and the garbage bags picked up were broken again, and the dishes were scattered.

The long -accumulated fatigue, messy home, the noise of the child ... All this caused Shen Huixing to collapse.

She couldn't help but lose her temper towards her child. After calm, she thought of what her mother said:

"You don't need everything to be perfect, you can be a relaxed mother."

Mom is not fragile, but those fragility is hidden under the shell of identity.

Social cognition uses "great" to praise mothers while using "great", while making high requirements for them.

They can only play multiple roles one by one, and switch back and forth between various roles.

Under the halo of "100 -point mothers", it is a day that ordinary mothers use infinite mother love to support their children's growth.

02

100 points Mom often can't raise 100 points children

What is worried about is that even if it becomes a full -fledged mother, it may not be able to raise a full child.

Even if you are a genius mother, your child may be an ordinary person.

Even if you pay 100 points of love, you may not be able to return to 100 points.

In the variety show "The Open Boys", there is a capable mother, the children's clothing, food, and transportation, and she is "in charge" by her.

From preparing breakfast, to feeding, rubbing their mouths, brushing, and shoes, she is busy like a gyro, and the child does not need to stretch the whole process.

As a result, the 8 -year -old son's life skills are basically zero, and they will not wear clothes and laces by themselves. They are not used to chopsticks.

At school, the child was too poor because of his own ability to take care of himself and was laughed at by his classmates, and became very frustrated.

He felt in his eyes, "Mom and Dad are not there, I can't do anything."

Mom is often too "selfless", and always thinks that the more you pay, the better the child.

But forgot to flatten all obstacles for the child, it also squeezed the child's growth space.

Behind each incompetent child, there is an all -around mother.

When I was a kid, I was chasing feeding, growing up to help my homework, and I was worried about my child's career and marriage.

I can't wait to include the children in one hand, but I just forgot to teach the children to "take responsibility for themselves."

As a result, the better the mother's sense of existence, the worse the ability to grow.

03

The best mother is to sit on "co -pilot"

Good mothers do not have to know about everything and dominate, but know how to love themselves and make role models for their children.

Huang Meifang in the documentary "The Second Life" is such a "60 -point mother".

Huang Meifang, 42, is a female worker who has worked hard in Shenzhen for 6 years.

For the future of her child, she decided to get a diploma and settle in Shenzhen.

When he graduated from high school, he went out to work and re -picked up the book in the year without confusion. For Huang Meifang, this is really a huge challenge.

In addition to work, she also had to cook housework and urge her children to work.

It wasn't until the family was asleep that she had time to sit in front of the dining table, while studying online courses and took notes.

Sometimes, she has to take two hours of subway and go to the teaching point far away from home to study offline.

In those years, Huang Meifang rarely rests before 12 o'clock in the middle of the night, and will start a day of busy day in the morning.

In this way, she got a college diploma, obtained undergraduate, and achieved "line long" from front -line female workers.

Under Huang Meifang's infection, his son was no longer playful and devoted himself to learning.

He will go to school to study at the school before 6:30 every day, and arrange a day's learning task, never worry about adults.

When I get home, I study with my mother. Sometimes I see my mother playing with my mobile phone, and I will make interesting:

"Didn't you say that you have learned to be old, why don't you continue to learn?"

There is no high education and no good material life. Ordinary mother Huang Meifang uses physical strength to teach children's most important lessons:

As long as you don't give up your self -growth, you will have the opportunity to change your life.

The real wise mother knows how to live a beam of light to illuminate the direction of the child's movement.

When the child grows up alone, he can also go through the steering wheel of a good life and pass through the risk obstruction.

04

No one is perfect, and so is good mother.

She will accidentally make mistakes, and occasionally lose her temper, unable to satisfy every wish of her child ...

But she will definitely make the child feel loved and valued.

French educator Rousseau wrote in "Ai Mi":

The best education is to do nothing.

And this is exactly the 60 -point mothers' parenting wisdom, that is, they do not fully let the children go, and they will not pay too much attention.

Give the life of life and the right to choose to the child, to guide it appropriately, enough tolerance, and at the same time operate your own life with your heart, and go to a better future with your children.

Editor in charge | Du Runnan

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