Whether the children you raise love you depends on these 4 details

Author: Cola Mom

Source: Mom Holding (ID: mmbaotuan)

Being able to cultivate a child who knows how to care and consider himself is a thing that makes parents feel happy.

What can I do to raise a child who loves parents and distressed parents?

When encountering difficulties

You are blocked in front of your child

Still behind the child

Two days ago, I brushed such a video:

On the hot summer, a mother was riding an electric car and carried her son.

Who knew that the electric vehicle was suddenly out of power and couldn't continue to ride.

Mom had to come down from the car and tilted to the electric car to correct the side, and then pushed the car forward.

In the process, my mother almost fell because she couldn't help the car. But the son of the back seat was always sitting steadily, and his eyes stared at the mobile phone.

Until the car fell to the ground completely, he didn't get up to help his mother.

After watching this video, I can't help but think of another pair of mother and child I saw before:

A rural family, a 10 -year -old boy is watering the ground in a cool summer.

It turned out that the boy's father was not at home, and he became the pillar of the house. He helped his mother to do farm work every day, and he refused to stop even if he was tired.

It is also raising children, why is a "white -eyed wolf" that is indifferent to parents; one has developed a small cotton jacket to actively cover the wind and rain for the parents?

In fact, the answer is simple.

Some parents have always been blocked in front of the child and did everything for their children. However, not only did they tired of themselves, they also used to have a rebellious heart; and some parents, from childhood Children do what they can do.

When the child grows up, he naturally knows that the parents are not easy to understand, and know how to pay and gratitude.

Therefore, the best way to raise a child who knows cold and hot is not to give it blindly, but to accept it frankly.

Accepting the child's efforts and affirming the filial piety of the child, the child will be close to the true meaning of love step by step.

In a special day

You create a sense of ritual with your heart

Still as an ordinary day

Remember to have a period of time, chatting with a few parents, I don't know how to talk about the sense of ritual.

One of the dad complained:

"There are so many children now, so I feel a sense of rituals. We had a few birthdays when we were young, and I didn't see anyone."

Another mother also echoed:

"It's not, what graduation ceremony of the school before, and my dad thought to deduct money with a leave.

Let the child go, who knows that this child said that we don't love her. "

In fact, the essence of ritual sense has never been a birthday, a gift.

It is because there are more seemingly unpredictable forms in life, and the child feels deeply that there are people in the world who are willing to take care of themselves and prepare surprises for themselves.

Previously, a blogger@之 之 之 has posted a video, recorded to his son Xiao Zhou's birthday:

She wants to let her son have a special birthday, but she does not know what gifts to give, and think that her son usually adds something you like to his own shopping cart.

So she decided to give her son an unforgettable birthday to clear her son's shopping cart.

After receiving the courier, she "cheated" Xiao Zhou, these express delivery was all her own, but asked Xiao Zhou to help dismantle it.

Xiao Zhou agreed, who knew that she had removed the toys he wanted for a long time.

Disassembling one more, actually a doll who is thinking about it.

Small pendants around the game, snow king, and small pearl pen ...

After four or five or five in a row, Xiao Zhou finally realized that all the express delivery today was actually a surprise that the mother prepared for herself.

While pretending to complain "You are really fooled me", he hugged his mother tightly.

17 courier, a total of more than 400 yuan, is a bit expensive for bloggers.

But under the reflection of the son's bright smile, all this is particularly worth it.

German writer Lorisley wrote in the book "Why do we need a sense of ritual":

"Life with a sense of ritual, let us truly perceive life and face life enthusiastically. Its essence is from the inner love."

Those seemingly useless rituals are enough to warm their children's childhood happiness.

It is also these small happiness to inject abundant nutrition into the children's hearts, let children perceive love, believe in love, and eventually learn to give love.

Leisure time

If you have something to say with your children

Still nothing to say

A while ago, several good friends of his son came to the house as a guest.

At dinner, I stayed with them for dinner together.

When eating, my son told me as usual all the fun things he met today, his wonderful thoughts, and his classmates in his Go class.

In the end, we all laughed into a ball.

After a meal, I was washing dishes in the kitchen. A good friend of my son suddenly walked to me and said to me:

"Auntie, I really want to come to your house every day."

I am happy, ask her:

"Coke always said that the dishes I made are tasteless. If you like it, your aunt welcomes you often!"

The child shook his head and said:

"Auntie, do you know? I didn't dare to imagine before, some parents could chat with their children while eating.

In my house, my parents only say three words to me every day: ‘Is the homework finished? ‘Have you raised his hands in class? ‘How about learning recently? ‘

They never talk to me about fun things, let alone know what good friends I have in school, and what they want to do when they grow up. I really envy Coca -Cola, he can tell you everything. "

Looking at her grievance, I guess that there must be a pair of parents who can't chat in her family.

I remember in the video of Professor Li Meijin before, I have seen a point of view:

The more love between the family, the more children are.

If a six or seven -year -old child loves to talk, then it is probably for a period of time, at least two or more family members around him, and the family atmosphere is harmonious.

Conversely, if a child does not like to talk and dodge when communicating with others, it means that before the age of 3, the child may have only one caregiver, or the family is full of quarrels and contradictions.

In addition to learning, there are actually many parents who can talk to their children.

Only when we really have the ability to say "nonsense" to our children can children really remove our defense and get closer to us.

When the child makes a mistake

You are accused of criticizing him as soon as you come up

Still standing with him firmly

When re -reading Zheng Yuanjie's novel "Wisdom tooth", it was deeply moved by a plot inside:

The girl Liang Xin was stolen by her classmates at school, and the teacher told her to talk to the office.

Unexpectedly, Liang Xin's first reaction was:

I want to call my parents.

The teacher was stunned, because from her experience, most students encountered similar situations. The most afraid of things was that the teacher contacted the parents, but Liang Xin actually asked to find parents.

In fact, a child like Liang Xin is undoubtedly lucky.

Because on weekdays, her parents are always conveying a belief to her. In any case, parents will stand aside with you.

And this is exactly what many parents cannot do.

Imagine:

When relatives and friends come to the house as a guest, the other child's child looks at his child's toy. In order to fight for a toy, the two children played a big shot.

At this time, you will blame your children to be stingy, ignorant, or resolutely support the child with the right to share?

When the child cried home, he said that someone in the school bullied himself, and he would never go to school anymore.

At this time, you will criticize the child "a slap to shoot", or tell him that he will contact the teacher and the school. "No matter what happens, mom and dad will accompany you to solve it."

When the police suddenly called you and said that a car in the community was planned, and the monitoring showed that only your child had played nearby.

At this time, did you reprimand your child naughty in anxiety, or choose to believe in your child?

The previous reaction is our instinct; the latter reaction often requires extraordinary courage.

The risk of being embarrassed and being thought to be well -taught by others must also convey this concept to the child:

Children, no matter how difficult you are, how many rumors you are, parents will love you and support you as always.

When a child has the love and trust of his parents, he naturally has the determination to defeat the problem.

Only in this way can parents truly win their children's hearts.

The book "Unconditional Nourishing" wrote this:

"If we can see the world in the eyes of children, it will be easier to find clues from the child."

When you don't know how to express your love to your children, just think more about it.

Listen to him and care about him in a way that the child desires, making him feel that he needs to create a sense of ritual, tell him more "nonsense", and stand aside with him.

When the child feels this unconditional love, he will naturally give back to you the same love.

Let you experience the feeling of nourishing and cure in the process of breeding.

This article comes from the mother's group (ID: mmbaotuan), and the mother's hard work and happiness, we all understand; the mothers' growth exchange platform, welcome to follow.

Editor in charge | Du Runnan

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