What kind of child will it be harvested in the end?

Wen 丨 Fish Dad

1

Many parents have forgotten that they have not encouraged their children.

We Chinese have a habit that facing praise and we must maintain a humble attitude. So some people say that you are really good, you must say "general, general."

The humble attitude often makes interpersonal communication smoother. Because the lingering people are unpleasant.

So after doing parents. Someone praises your child in person. Many parents also say, "Where do you know? You don't know ..." Then he began to expose short and splashed cold water.

Once in the interval of the parent meeting, several mothers discussed the children there.

One mother said, "My son is not attentive, and the word can't be seen." The other mother went on to say, "Every time my son wants me to read, other words will be written for ten minutes." , I do n’t write at all, I do n’t read it, I know how to play, like his dad, do n’t have brains in reading. ”One said more seriously than the other.

It's as if you don't spill some cold water for your children, you can't talk about it at all.

Fortunately, when the adults are splashed with cold water, the child is not present, and the damage index is not great.

2

Some parents like to pour cold water in front of their children.

When the child ran back happily, he told his mother, "I have a big sweeping at school today." Mom looked at the child's dirty clothes and said, "You look at your pants, what is dirty." The child's excitement energy Directly watered.

Children who are often splashed with cold water are more likely to fall into the situation of inferiority. Because their self -cognition will have deviations.

If you degrade their children in front of outsiders, it often makes him self -confidence. In severe cases, a person can cause a person to be afraid of society and the idea of ​​self -confidence. And a person who is afraid of society and self -embarrassment is difficult to integrate into society.

3

Every child has such a stage in the process of growth.

They will start to evaluate themselves, and in the perspective of psychology, they are the development of "self -concept".

When does a person start to form a self?

Psychological studies have found that the most direct influence has begun since infanting. Parents' behavior and language hints have played a key role. Each child is constantly confirming in the evaluation of his parents ...

Treating children and implying children in a positive attitude, children may move in a positive direction; on the contrary, if there is prejudice to the child or always say something negative, the child is likely to develop in the opposite direction.

For example, parents often say that children are "stupid."

When the child did the homework wrong, he said, "You are so stupid! Such a simple topic will not do it." The child would argue with other friends when playing outside. If he was bullied by other children, the parents said " You are so stupid! Why do you go back every time you are bullied! "The child's test score is not ideal, so you say" You are so stupid! It's not a reading. "

The child thinks that his parents say that they are stupid, and they will become awe -inspiring. I am afraid of doing anything, because I am afraid that people will say that they are stupid.

The terrible thing is that when the child arrives at the end, he will really feel stupid. The reason is that parents and surrounding people say they are stupid. Such a child will lose self -confidence.

4

Regardless of adults or children, self -confident people are the most attractive.

There was such a small story:

In the 1960s, a mixed -race boy was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, USA. His father was Kenya and his mother came from a middle -class family from the United States. Boys' troubles in the class because of their skin tone problems. Whenever the teacher asked, his legs began to tremble, and his words became spit. The teacher helplessly told the boy's mother that the child would not even believe herself, and would not have a good interest in the future.

The boy's mother did not agree with the teacher's point of view. She found a difference for the boy -she set up newspapers in the neighborhood in the neighborhood.

With the encouragement of her mother, the boy bravely took the first step. He knocked on the door of the neighbor's house and worked hard to communicate with them. The submission of newspapers was unexpectedly smooth. Several neighbors became his loyal reservation. With the experience of earning the "first bucket of gold", the boy's speech no longer stuck.

After many years, the boy knew that the "first bucket of gold" he got in his childhood was soaked in deep mother love. It turned out that her mother had arranged it for a long time. She asked her neighbors to book newspapers by herself. The purpose was to give her son a confidence.

Parents must protect the self -confidence of their children.

When the child comes to this world, the encouragement and must be a foundation for the child's original sense of security and confidence.

Many children have a strong motivation to overcome difficulties at the age of 2, hoping to get praise from adults.

For example, we will see a 2 -year -old child successfully assembled a small robot, and we will start with a smile and tell our parents, "Come and see! This is what I did."

At this time, he was seeking attention and affirmation from his parents. Even if the robot he made is really bad, you must remember to encourage him. Such praise will make children form a safe attachment.

What kind of child will it be harvested in the end?

Children who are often splashed with cold water are not only unable to form this safe attachment state. Instead, it is easy to become irritable, rebellious, and inferior.

Because children often fight back through these behaviors to gain their dignity.

You think it is a child's problem. In fact, there is a problem with the education method of parents.Those words of chilling children's cold water should swallow back.Source | Public account raising boy, ID: breedboy

Dad, there is a kid at home. He is determined to be a qualified post -80s dad, editor of children's books, and reading promoters.Public account: Nourishing Boys (ID: Breedboy) (a most loving public account, facing parent group, creating knowledge of parent -child raising, parent -child reading promotion, family relationship construction knowledge every day.Good Education "

Editor in charge | Zhao Li

Picture Design | Wang Rongjia

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