Send the "God Beast" to the park tomorrow. How can I say goodbye to the children?Among them

Tomorrow, children will return/enter kindergarten. At this time at this time, the entrance of each kindergarten will inevitably staged the "crying drama" of the dolls. There are crying silent, there are rolling ... Parents who love to see this scene, they also have a taste in their hearts - —————

The child cried so sadly, what should I do?

Can you stay alone like this? I won't cry for a whole day!

It seems that I can still hear TA crying. Would you like to go back and see again? Native

How can you tell your children to relieve their uncomfortable adaptation to the short -term separation, so as not to let the farewell time often appear "large -scale grabbing scene"?

Prepare for psychological preparation: It is normal for the baby to cry in the garden.

Speaking of the reason why the baby is crying when he enters the garden, he cannot go around the "separation of anxiety."

The so -called "separation anxiety" refers to a kind of emotions generated after the separation of children and the main rateder. For children, entering the garden means that TA must leave the familiar "home" and close "family", enter a strange environment, face the teacher who is not familiar with, plus the "fixed" life of the kindergarten , And insufficient self -care such as eating, sleeping, etc., this unsafe will lead to the emergence of "separation and anxiety", making children cry involuntarily.

即使在入园前，已经给孩子做了心理建设，但真正到了入园的那一刻，大概率TA还是会哭哭啼啼；而且，这种因为分离焦虑而引发的哭闹行为，在开学后的一周内Even within half a year, it may appear repeatedly. This is a normal phenomenon.

Say goodbye to your baby, look at this correct way--

British psychologist John Bowlby conducted detailed research on children's separation anxiety, and divided separation anxiety into three more obvious stages:

The first stage: resistance -howling crying, kicking and making trouble;

The second stage: disappointment -intermittently, still crying, but the noise is reduced, ignoring others, the expression is slow;

The third stage: over -escape -accepting outsiders' care and starting normal activities, such as eating and playing toys, but seeing my mother showing sadness again.

Only when the child is through the three stages of the above three stages can it be truly relieved and the separation of anxiety can be relieved. However, if the parents are reluctant when they are separated, the factors that induce their children's anxiety will always exist. This problem will always be "no solution"; therefore, on the day of the opening of the park, the correct practice is to bid farewell to the child gentle and firmly. Specifically, the following suggestions can be used for parents for reference:

When going out:

In the morning, it is called a baby to get up, wear clothes, wash, and eat breakfast as usual. After completing a set of processes step by step, change shoes, use small schoolbags on his back, and go out to school. The arrangement of the morning should be properly and orderly. Do not hurry up, nor drag up, so as not to increase the child's "anxiety". In addition, the candidates for the baby to enter the park can be discussed with the baby in advance, and try not to "move the family."

on the way:

Don't just say "don't be afraid" and "obedient" with your children, but talk about happy things with TA, or talk about the interesting things when you were in school, and divert your child's attention. In addition, parents can talk to their children about the life of kindergarten. There are new friends to play with new friends, and many fun toys ... Let TA realize that it is a happy thing in Kindergarten.

When entering the garden:

After confirming that the child is "taken care of" by the teacher in the class, parents should say goodbye to the child calmly; if the child is crying, try not to reveal the "sadness" mood, but to teach TA to "waiting for school time to arrive, then Come to pick you up, and then turn around quickly.

Kind tips:

Parents can let their children bring small objects of "beloved" when entering the park (you can understand from the teacher in advance whether you can let your child bring their own attachment when entering the park), such as commonly used water cups, favorite toys, soothing towels Or pillow, etc., help children gradually establish an emotional connection with the new life situation to alleviate their sense of insecurity in their unfamiliar environments.

The five major farewell "taboos" when entering the park, do not do it!

Even after the psychological construction, when seeing the child's crying, it is still difficult for parents to "get away" easily. However, even if the child is crying again, it is not recommended to do the following behaviors.

One "avoid" ""

Sneak away

Some parents may be unbearable because they see their children cry, or rush to work, they will sneak away while the baby doesn't pay attention. This behavior seems to reduce the factors that induce separation and anxiety; but when the child has slowed down, it may be even more sad to find that the family suddenly disappears.

It is recommended to do this:

Before handing the child to the teacher, the parents can inform the child, "After you have a nap after you sleep, I will pick you up home" to help the child understand — we just separate the kindergarten, we just separate the day in the daytime. ; I will pick you up after school, and I will do it.

Two "taboo"

Mud with water

When bidding farewell to the child, do not show much reluctance and sad expression, and do not “look back in one step”. Parents' "reluctance" may exacerbate their children's anxiety; and repeated hugs and soothing will only consume time; maybe in the end, formal farewell will become very hurried and perfunctory.

It is recommended to do this:

Use the exclusive "ritual" to encourage the children, such as the hug or magic of love, and after saying goodbye to the child, turn around and leave firmly.

Three "taboo"

Seduce

Parents must not lie to their children, saying "come and pick you up soon", "It's over today, and will not come tomorrow." ... These lies that are made in order to make children enter the park smoothly, they will "squeeze" the parent -child The trust makes children more and more disliked a new environment. In addition, do not use delicious and fun as a reward for "temptation" for children; for a long time, these "sugar -coated artillery shells" have no effect! It is recommended to do this:

In response to the child's emotions, understand the tension and anxiety of TA in the face of the strange environment, and told TA that "I can't bear you, I will miss you, my heart has always been with you", "If you really want to miss your parents, you can Look at the family portrait photos, we can meet when I school out of school. "

Four "taboo"

Strong suppression

When watching the child's sponge and how to persuade, some parents on the head may say ruthlessly with their children: "If you cry again, you will not pick you up!" "Others don't cry, you cry" ... The words of words will only be poured on the fire, increasing the sadness and frustration of the child's heart.

It is recommended to do this:

I must understand and understand the mood of the child who is not willing to leave the family. He said to TA, "If you are sad and want to cry, I can accompany you for a while; wait for the calm mood, go in and play with the children again; after school, we can see you again!"

Five "taboo"

Soft -hearted compromise

Some parents see that their children are crying for a while, and they will be postponed repeatedly, and they may even think that "maybe TA will be willing to go to school tomorrow." In fact, parents' soft -hearted compromises are more likely to make their children "get into the foot" and make the subsequent entering the park more difficult.

It is recommended to do this:

Persist in sending children into the garden on time, so that TA realizes that "just like my parents want to go to work, and going to kindergarten is something I have to do."

When the children enter the garden, many parents will also "anxious", and some even show their behavior, such as "staying and peeking", "keen", "crying too" and so on. I also ask my parents to correct the mentality of "children entering the garden is one step in the process of growth", manage their emotions, and appease and persuade them with a positive attitude to help the baby happier and naturally enjoy the new life of kindergarten. I believe that under the guidance of parents, the tears sprayed by children when they enter the park will eventually become an important irrigation of their growth foundation!

Edit: Wang Xing

Editor in charge: Jiang Peng

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