When the child says "you only love your brother, don't love me", learn a trick, and love you to use it.

Text/Time Mom (Original article, welcome to share and forward)

I often brag about it, thinking that I can be regarded as the end -of -water master among the second -born family, but sometimes I also care about it and lack of surgery, because of taking care of this one and ignoring another feeling.

Under normal circumstances, in the second -born family, the most ignored is Dabao.

I think at this point, the mother of the second and third babies must be very touched.

Because, as long as we have two treasures, no matter how well we take this bowl of water, we will feel that there are too many big treasures when the night is quiet.

I still remember that our two treasures were weak when they were young, often caught a cold, crying when I couldn't move. Sometimes Dabao leaned against the door frame and looked at us, and wanted to shout, "Mom."

In the past, the little girl who loved the one who loved it, saw the anxiety of parents and moms, and I didn't dare to disturb the sensible. Thirsty.

But at that time, I was tired of being physically and mentally, and I really didn't care so much.

Later, because Dabao's kindergarten was not well completed, I impatiently criticized her a few words. "".

At that moment, I began to realize that I have always boast that I have been bullying. The energy and time I devoted to Dabao is obviously too little.

Is there no solution?

Today, I will use my own personal experience to share a few small secrets with you. This process does not need to be too cruel, you can maintain the parent -child relationship of the second child family, so that the boss can become better and more secure.

In fact, the children are straight -line thinking. If you scold him and criticize him, he feels that you don't love him enough; if you pay attention to him, love him with snacks, he feels hello.

When I found that my relationship with Dabao had a parent -child crisis, I chose to use the "ritual sense" to break the deadlock.

What makes people unexpected is that this "ritual" has made me crooked to solve many problems.

So in my opinion, it is too magical to write this method.

If the parents have a bad temper and the child is too small, or if they are not good at expressing it, then I strongly recommend everyone to use this method.

In those years, I just started to enter the new work area, and I would share some of my parenting experience every day, so I could not have more time to accompany Dabao, so sometimes I talked to Dabao. It will make noisy because of the fatigue of each other.

Therefore, I started trying to communicate with my child with a stool.

The first time was because we quarreled, I felt that my temper was too bad, so after Dabao fell asleep, a small label was put on her pillow, saying: "Today, my mother is not emotional, I'm sorry, but my mother is very very very very very very good Love you".

The next day, I felt that Dabao's attitude was eased, and seemed to want to talk to me.

Later, writing and signing became the sense of ritual of our family.

Sometimes when you are busy, you will ask Dabao to help take care of his brother. After I am busy, I will write a signature and thank Dabao thanked Dabao.

Sometimes because Dabao does not want to go to school, I will prepare a note in advance, put it in the child's schoolbag, and tell her: "I will open it at school, there is a surprise."

Therefore, many negative emotions of Dabao, and the idea of ​​not going to school, are slowly resolved in this "sense of ritual".

In fact, these behaviors may not be very advanced, but in the eyes of the children, this is a small secret that belongs to her and parents, and the behavior of parents is constantly telling him: you are the one we like.

Only by being loved by heart can she have the ability to go to the smaller one in the love home.

In addition to writing and signing, in the process of getting along with children, if you can use three sentences as mantra, then the relationship between you and your child will definite "Love you" still need to be used.

① "You're like this when you're young"

In psychology, there is a term "compatriot competition relationship", which is about brothers and sisters, and is a natural competitor.

In the process of getting along, they will compete, competition, competition, and competition attention. This is a common situation.

If in the process, we told Dabao: "How old are you and still compete with your brother and sister", the more you emphasize her, the more she will feel that you don’t love her, and it will show The smaller and smaller.

Speaking of white spots is to use all methods and seek attention.

Therefore, when encountering such problems, we can use a method to respond to the child:

"You're like this when you were young. Mom and dad pushed the stroller and took you to walk in the community." "You often play this toy when you were young, and your dad also played with you. These are all left."

Tell your children in these languages ​​that you are also concerned about growing up like this, and these things are left, so the child will not care so much when he hear it.

② Learn to show weakness and express: "I really need you"

Her colleague Xiaoying often spit out that she was busy taking care of her at home, but she was not worrying at all. Sometimes she had a temper, and she shouted a few words, and then she couldn't make friends. Life was even worse. In fact, many parents may have encountered such a situation. It is difficult to serve the small ones. As a result, the big one is still "chaos".

Actually, it is not necessary.

As Bao Da and Bao Ma, in the second -born family, we must learn to show weakness. For example, sometimes I take care of Xiaobao, and Xiaobao will cry when I am hungry. Then I will show weakness at this time. Hurry up Call me a good teammate (Dabao): "Come and help me, my mother can no longer support it, and you need your emergency rescue."

Often at this time, Dabao ran over, and he was very fulfilled to hold Erbao from my hand. He did not forget to turn his eyes at me: "You see, you can't do without me."

When a child needs, he will have extremely strong confidence, courage and love.

Now at home, as long as I have something to do, Dabao will take care of Xiaobao, and Xiaobao is stubborn by her sister. It is more useful than me as a mother.

③ "I'm sorry, I just did it" just now "

Many of our parents have a big problem, that is, we will not apologize to our children.

In fact, the apology is not shameful, only to tell the child's sincerity of the sincerity, and the one she is by no means ignored.

In daily life, we often have time to control emotions and lack of patience.

For example, sometimes you have clearly taken care of the second child, and the big one is still making trouble. You may have said it again, the big treasure is not moving. At this time, will your flood power come out?

Therefore, we will also make mistakes, and it is not terrible to make mistakes. Learning to apologize will make the child encounter by your love.

Nourishing the second child is really not an easy task, but we can make us in order through many small methods and tips, so that we can't make mistakes in the busyness.

Moreover, if we operate properly, the dividends of the second child will also make us feel inconvenient.

Let me take myself. Now every time my sister "lesson" my brother, I seem to be watching a family sequence. Every time I laugh with my dad.

Therefore, sometimes I will tell Bao Dad that the anxiety and panic of these years is not to wait for today's true and warmth?

Finally, I would like to ask everyone, how do you solve this problem? Welcome everyone to leave a message to discuss.

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