Children of adolescence have become more and more loved, and they are trembling or taught?

San Dibu said, "When you are too indulgent, you will lose the moisture of the soul, and it will become dead -minded."

When the child enters adolescence, when you are a parent, you have to experience a "tear". I wonder if you feel like this? To put it too much, the child is annoying, less, and uncomfortable.

Take Dabao and Erbao to Lin'e's house. Her daughter has a summer vacation. There are many homework in high school, but the children usually do n’t watch TV or play mobile phones. Lin E said, it ’s not easy to make.

We chatted together, Lin E's daughter Min Min watched TV aside, laughed for a while, and thought for a while. What Lin E wanted to say, closed his mouth again, and sighed. At this time, Lin E's husband came out and saw Min Min's watching TV, so he began to count: "It's about to start school, you don't read the book, have you finished writing?"

When Min Min didn't look at his father, he said perfunctoryly, "I know, you know." His eyes didn't turn around, sitting on the sofa, watching the TV converge. After a while, Lin E couldn't watch it anymore, and couldn't help but say, "Don't watch TV, let's write for a while!" The daughter said impatiently, "Don't watch the TV for a while? After watching me after watching me Naturally, I will write homework, don't bother me! "

Lin E is very angry: "I don't know if there is still a few days of school? Have you finished writing in the summer vacation? After watching a few pages of books during the holidays? You know watching TV, watching TV every day, can you test it?"

Min Min is also unwilling to show weakness: "I usually don't let watch TV after school. Now I have a holiday. What happened for a while? The TV is not allowed to watch, the mobile phone does not let it play, I know that I can learn, am I the tool of learning? I am annoying!"

Talking about the remote control, crooked face, ignored the mother, and did not plan to write homework. Lin E's anger came up all of a sudden. After grabbing the remote control in his daughter's hand, he turned off the TV and shouted to Min Min: "If you weren't my daughter, I was too lazy to care about you, isn't it good for you? It is a student, your task is learning, which is a child like you, which one does not listen to your parents? You are really reversed! "

When Min Min heard this, he shouted directly: "You can ignore me, who wants you, must you care about me?" He went to the bedroom and closed the door, and never came out again.

Lin E and her husband were particularly angry and murmured: "This is going crazy. How can there be such a child.

Lin E said that after her daughter entered her adolescence, she had never dared to say much. Recently, it was really because of writing homework. How are the children of adolescence so difficult? Speaking, I shed tears, and I was at a loss.

Looking at the chaotic scene, and looking at the two cub around me, I comforted Lin E, and quickly took the baby home. Such a "battlefield" should not stay for a long time.

On the way home, I was also thinking about whether the parents who entered the adolescence, how did my parents discipline, was it trembling, or did I encounter something angry, or is there a skillful teaching?

Dr. Hu, director of the psychiatric department of the First Affiliated Hospital of Nanchang University, believes that after the child enters adolescence, autonomy becomes stronger, and he is unwilling to be intervened by parents. It is easy to rub with parents. At this time, parents should pay attention to changes in education methods, listen to children's voice, think in other places, understand and understand children, friends who are children, try not to blame their children.

I have read many parenting books of adolescence, including cases of contacting children in adolescence. The most problematic problem is "communication".

The way parents and adolescent children are not right, or they are trembling, or anger, and cannot solve the actual problems. Instead, the parent -child relationship is getting worse and worse.

Just like the situation of Lin'e's family, at the beginning, it was trembling. I think you who have adolescent children at home should feel the same, who really experienced who knows!

I have received it in the background. Everyone said that when the adolescent parents left a message, everyone said that in the face of the adolescent "rebellious teenagers", it is really good!

And what I want to say is to think about your way of communication. Are the words you said, do you mean to develop a better development, but because of the wrong expression, what you say suddenly changed?

Just like Lin E, I just want the child to put down TV to write homework, but it is said to be "watching TV every day, can you take an exam?"

When you hear this, you want to return to anyone. If there are accusations and criticisms, the brain will automatically make defense, and then speak a protective words, or to escape. This is normal.

The book "Decoding Adolescence" wrote: "Only by letting the children feel the sincerity can the child be harvested the child's sincerity."

Yes, every parent will say that they are really good for their children and they are too sensible. In fact, whether the sincerity expressed by parents is the key to whether it is received by the child. If your sincerity is nagging to your child, the more really, the more rebellious your child. Who would be willing to live in his own life?

I recommend Lin E to read the book "Decoding Adolescence", hoping that she can find the key to communicate with the child, and no longer "tattoo". Two weeks later, Lin E told me that her daughter was willing to listen to her, and the summer vacation was done. Now that her daughter is watching TV, she will not obstruct it at will, but just reminds it. This book allows her parent -child relationship with her daughter to greatly ease. I was very happy when I stopped. The author of "Decoding Adolescence" believes that there are three key thinking modes in children in adolescence. The second is to tell parents that "the rules of the game have changed, so you have to change." Just as Lin E was just at the beginning, it was obviously not working to communicate with her daughter in the previous way.

The adolescence of most children started from the age of 11. At the age of 18, the author grew this part of the child into 6 stages and explained in detail.

Lin E also saw this part before knowing how outrageous he was wrong before. The daughter is in the fourth stage. At this time, the child is rebellious, likes to adventure, and is brave to try. At this time, what parents have to do is to help their children establish correct values, and at the same time understand the children's physiological, psychological, interpersonal relationships, and emotional changes in this stage, in order to grasp the "golden key" that communicate with adolescent children.

Conclusion:

The rebellion of adolescent children is actually just because their development is different from their parents' cameras. In adolescence, we must master the "key" that communicate with the child, not the accusations of anger. You can get the "win -win" to your child's need to give him the love he needs.

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