Parents should give their children "roots" and "wings

The highest level of parents is: not you are managing children, but that you are showing your own world outlook and life outlook, so that education has become the internal automation process of children, not external intervention. In fact, the family should be the park of children's growth. It is a gas station for children's growth. Parents are only watering and fertilizing. They give full support when the children need it.

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I remember when I went home to visit relatives, I went to pick up the niece Wenwen, who was still in elementary school, and just happened to her grandpa. As soon as Wenwen came out of the school gate, he patted Grandpa's baldness and introduced me: "This is my grandpa, my good buddy!" At that time, I didn't think that the child was not big or small, but was happy to have such an elder.

Lao Tzu's "Tao Te Ching" cloud: "Too too, I don't know it; second, it is reputable; second, fear; second, insult. Instead of faith, no believe in. I say that I am natural. "" Tai Shang "here can be understood as" educator "or" parent ", that is, parents can also be divided into four categories.

The first type of parent is the highest state, "I don't know what it is", that is, I do n’t know that there is a parent you exist, that is the highest and clever parent. Many people now talk about family education changes, and raising children has become "unbearable" in their lives. In fact, most of such parents are too much of themselves as parents, and they are too "promising" in education. They think that "something" is out of love. In fact, it may be to satisfy their desire to control, and they may imprison the potential of children.

The highest level of parents is: not you are managing children, but that you are showing your own world outlook and life outlook, so that education has become the internal automation process of children, not external intervention. To some extent, not to treat yourself as a parent, but the best parent; if he treats himself as a parent, he may be reduced to a laughingstock.

The second type of parent, "dear", is that the child is close to you and praises you. Now many families are parents who are commanders, children are soldiers, children only have compliments, obey, and obedience. If the child obeys you blindly and praises you, then he is copying your life and becoming a "second -hand" you, so you will miss his own unique life.

The third type of parents, "fear", means that the child is afraid of you. Let me talk about my experience first. I grew up in a family of a loving mother and Yan's father. Since I was a child, we have not been allowed to talk to my parents. When I was a kid, I was nervous to my father. At that time, my classmate Huahua was the object of envious of my envy. She asked me to know that the relationship between my child and my parents could still be equal. When Huahua's parents looked at her, I felt like they were watching angels; and what I saw from my parents always "I am not good enough." Therefore, my education method was completely different from my parents. I had to give my child that I didn't get when I was a kid, so my son can call me the name of my father at home, and I can give us a foreign account; My sister also gave her daughter Wenwen the same right.

Here I do not say that the child can not be heaven, but should treat the child as a person who is equal to his parents. As someone said: "In education, the difference between faint parents, children, teachers, students, teaching and learning is awareness."

The fourth type of parents, "insulting", is the child insulting you and scolding you. Douban.com once had a popular group, "Parents are all disaster", which has attracted widespread attention. Nervous, she said when she summarized her failed adolescence.

Think about it, the children who contain adults who are bitter to raise adults, but in the end, depending on their parents as "scourge", are really sad and the most failed parents. The reason why family education fails is not that the "motivation is not good", but the "method is wrong."

Observe carefully that the fourth type of parents are not uncommon beside us, especially some only children. When they grow up, they often ignore their parents and disdain to communicate with them, let alone filial piety.

Respecting and filial piety has never been taught, but a kind of preaching. It is a pity that many parents are used to blindly giving their children's education to a training course with a lot of names in the society. In fact, they are shirk their responsibility of "the first person of children's education". In addition, some parents always play a high -level and omnipotent role in family education. In fact, they are a kind of "emotional extortion" for children, that is, to maintain their children's needs and dependence to maintain their parents' authority. Although such parents are very hard and wholehearted, because the way of love is improper, they will put their children a lot of emotional pressure. And things must be reversed. In the end, children often do not buy it, and even when they grow up, they look down on their parents and scold their parents.

Indeed, if parents pay too much attention to their authority and parental identity when they are young, and do not give their children full freedom and respect, then children will easily rebel and disrespect their parents when they grow up. Because parents do not respect their children first, children's disrespect for parents in the future is an inevitable consequence.

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