Chatting with the senior teacher of Haidian Liu Xiaoqiang, she asked me to see the other side that the "chicken baby" never said

This article is transferred from the public account "Earl has a baby" ID: thousand_and_one

What I recorded today is a chat with a friend who has been a teacher who has been a teacher in Liu Xiaoqiang, Haidian in Haidian.

Many of the words she said surprised me a lot, revealing the "blind spots" that were ignored and covered under the "chicken baby" information on the "chicken baby".

Below I try to record with her first person.

The picture still comes from my favorite episode "My Genius Girlfriend"

*Friends orally, fish eagle memories, finishing

one,

Every student I brought almost had psychological problems and suffering from depression.

When I was full of psychological energy, I was willing to help them and give them some emotional support. Some children have been in touch with me after graduation.

What kind of children do I observe a higher probability of psychological crisis?

Some parents are out of place in their own work field, and of course, they think that their children should have become out of place from an early age. Many of the depression are children of this family.

What these children often say to me are: I think I can never be as good as my parents.

How did the relationship between children and parents become compared to parents? You are yourself, why are you going to be better than your father and mother? You compare with your peers.

These children have no way to attach their parents as pure parents.

Parents sometimes do not express their expectations in language, but their behavior-- their behavior--

They may not be a parent at home, or they are doing "elites", continuing the state of work, and treating their children with management work. Each step is planned accurately, and they are not allowed to show defects and fragility.

At this time, your eyes make your child feel: I can't be bad, can't do well.

Parents have paved you every step, which is a pressure on the child itself. They knew that this meant what parents had for them. When they couldn't meet them, they denied themselves in their hearts.

two,

There are often friends who write some articles and strategies for how to write Haidian parents crazy chicken baby, and ask me: Are you all in Haidian?

I always tell them, don't believe in these things, look less, let alone learn those crazy parents.

Although some of the parents who graduated from a famous school, they have a very lack of humanistic literacy, and they have full schedules. They believe that everything can be used as formulas and procedures. I do n’t have what the child has lost. Many training institutions and teach are some of the models that have been summed up and solving problems. In fact, they are contrary to the educational concepts of encouraging and exploring.

What is the meaning of learning in advance? But because some people are crazy, and the institutions are helped, everyone is wrapped.

I can understand some of the choices that parents are wrapped in. After my child in the third grade, I also reported to the extracurricular class of math. The most basic class, not across the level, not across difficulty.

I think in this era, it may be difficult for us to be completely out of this thing. Just be a "ordinary" parents and make some "ordinary" choices. According to the actual level of the child, choose a class that matches his ability. Do not add crazy or sway.

The worst is that kind. Today, I see what other children are learning, go to one, and feel another good tomorrow. The same subject allows children to take a lot of extra -curricular classes. Study stupid.

Every time I see some parents taught the experience of teaching, how does their own family do, the child is admitted to six Xiaoliang. I want to say: You are just the same book. result?

This child was admitted, and the decisive role may be his IQ. No child can not reach the intelligence, and it can be taken in a bunch of tuition classes.

three,

How many students are there in a grade in Liu Xiaoqiang School? A single school may be thousands of.

But each time the college entrance examination, people only talk about how many people have been admitted to Tsinghua University of Peking University. What about other children? Have anyone thought about them?

Even in Liu Xiaoqiang, not every child is a school bully, and you can't even say that "most of them" are Xueba.

Students who have "schools to school" and hear -rise students are actually good, general, and poor grades.

I only saw how many students were admitted to Qingbei, and only the top 10%of the people, 90%of the others?

Parents' expectations will definitely be unbalanced if they come from the top hundred people.

Like you, graduate from the National People's Congress, you graduate from Tsinghua University. If your children will take the test of North University of Technology in the future, you will not accept it?

In reality, this probability is actually very high. This is the case even in Liu Xiaoqiang's middle school.

I observed the children of our teachers, and in the end, it was also polar. There are very good ones, and many are very general.

Some parents can't wait to go to the teacher's certificate, teach their children at home, or think that school teachers are more convenient for "chicken baby" at home -in fact, it is not a good thing to be mothers and teachers at the same time. thing.

When a teacher is easy to have a problem: compare his child with his children involuntarily, too harsh to the child.

Every child is different individuals. How much is our acceptance of children? Maybe far from our parents. You said that when we could not go to college, do we have to work, will our parents accept us? It will be the same. Ask ourselves now, can we accept it?

Seeing those depressed students in these years, my biggest expectations for my children's future will become more and more: physical and mental health.

This is the most important.

A child is physically and mentally healthy, believes in himself, and knows how to get along with others; he has curiosity, good reading habits and learning habits; knowing how to arrange his own life -how can such a child go to society, how can it not be bad.

Written at the end:

Many parents may have read a lot of data that have been read year by year as me, and I have seen a lot of data, but I always feel that it is far from myself. Even if there is, it cannot happen to my child.

High school teachers face more directly than us, and have more specific feelings and impacts.

When I wrote this article, I remembered that I saw a short film about the depression of teenagers at station B. The photographer was the 00s of the three attached high schools, and the film was named "Under the Light".

The English name is more meaningful: Under the Brilliance can be translated into "being covered by glory and talent".

The film uses a high school girl with depression, expressing the voices of patients with depression, deeper into her true state, misunderstandings, and the process of treatment and repeated treatment.

The three main creators of the short film also made a series of investigations: visiting depression patients, consulting psychological experts, issuing questionnaires, and analyzing data.

Of course, parents in first -tier cities "have a better understanding of such mental illnesses, and children's consultation rates are also higher." Many parents in other areas have delayed their children's delay in their lack of understanding and incomprehension because of their lack of understanding of "depression", and they did not realize seriousness until suicide tendency.

Today's educational inside, the social media environment of impetuous paranoia, abduction by algorithms, and binding people to exchange money is really a challenge to children's physical and mental health.

The most important responsibilities of our parents are -provide a buffer to children with warmth, tolerance, and unattended love and connection.

Don't let "chicken blood" and over -anxiety cover your eyes.

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