Liu Dan: Before I started, I did not "fail"

The outside world's real understanding of actor Liu Dan started from "The beginning". She plays the attempt of the bus explosion, a mother who lost her daughter. Her performance launched a mother's pain, anger, helplessness, and despair.

Before that, there may be a bunch of audiences who loved the drama. She is more active on the stage of the drama and has participated in classic drama such as "Good Night, Mom", "Marriage Situation", "Three Curry Opera" and "Salem's Witch". Intermittently, she also performed some film and television dramas, and won the award of the Best Actress of the International Independent Film Festival with "Night Car", because she participated in "Pluto Moment" to see Cannes. For a longer time, Liu Dan is a recognized actor who can act but is not famous.

Liu Dan, born in Harbin, occasionally starred in "Snow City" in the second day of the second day. Seven or eight plays, one was over, director Li Wenqi said that she was a natural actor. For the first time, she violated her parents' wishes and wanted to become an actor. At the age of 16, she was admitted to the Beijing Film Academy. At the time of graduation, the teacher Qi Shilong told her two sentences. The first sentence was: "As an actor, it is important to have your own personality, but it is not easy. If you want to adhere to your personality, you must bear your personality. The suffering brings to you. "Another sentence is:" You are a good actor, you can be an excellent actor, what you lack is time, you need to experience, you need to grow up slowly. "

These two sentences have been accompanied by her for a long time, and it seems to have become two sets of scripts of her life story. For a long time, Liu Dan held his personality and has been studying. This is not a simple narrative of "persistence", but how a person spends a long psychological crisis, dragged himself out of doubt, closed, and mediocre, and builds a sense of inner value.

Friends and writers Wu Ang described Liu Dan, "She has very sharp and direct things inside, and is very proud. She wants to rely on her own business ability to find a place in this world." At the same time Vulnerability -what adults can hide.

In the following description, Liu Dan did not cover up her sharpness and fragility, and frankly described the tranquility and trek she had experienced.

Wen ｜ Zhai Jin

Edit ｜ Chu Ming

Figure ｜ Interviewee confession (except for special labels)

1

I remember what Teacher Qi said, you have to grow up, you have to grow up slowly. So I have to learn to persist and patience.

On the eve of graduation, I was a little confused. One day I said in the mirror: Liu Dan, you reborn. I suddenly lost more than 20 pounds, and I felt like I had disappeared in the past. The relatively healthy, silly, and easy satisfying chick disappeared. I have become a strange person at all: a little indifferent, I don't want to be hurt, I hope to be responsible for myself, I don't want to care about anything else, I want to say nothing, I may feel so safer, I just enjoy it, I just enjoy it. My world is just fine.

It seemed to be the first time in my life to encounter a real confusion. When the teacher saw me, he also distressed me. I didn't ask you how you suddenly lost this? Why are you not happy? He said you don't have to worry about anything. I heard this at the time like catching life -saving straws, because I always knew that I lacked experience, and the attractive actors I saw were much more mature than me. I am convinced that this sentence, I need to do more.

In the process of growing up, I had contradictions and misunderstandings with people, and I encountered the unfairness of me at the time. For example, the acting drama, group AB, of course, in group B, may never have a chance to rehearse. Suddenly one day someone was absent from being rehearsed normally. The director said that you came again, because you usually care about it and work hard to put everything. I remember it very well. I thought about how to perform a thousand times and ten thousand times. I was familiar with it, and I even felt that I was not worse than others, but the director did not say a word after the performance. If it is you, how do you feel?

Now I think these are gifts, and I thought I must be more powerful at the time. I had an idea at that time. People did not give you a hard work to admit you. What should I do? You have to reduce your desire. For example, others have paid a hundred times. If you get good luck, he gets it, then I may have to pay 1,000 times and get the same.

When you are internship, you will see the group. Some male directors come up and ask you how old you are. I feel that you are young and eager to act, and you can do whatever you want. How terrible. With such a good career in my mind, if there are such people in the circle, why should I do this business? These are unbearable and fatal blows, and the particularly beautiful things are broken instantly. I have to resist. I want them to know that girls can not touch it casually. What are you thinking about? You can't think you have a chance because you are a director. This is ridiculous. You don't have this power. We are equal, just because I have to obey you because of the work relationship, but we are equal in personality.

I have been replaced. There used to be a crew. The director was like the emperor. He suddenly changed the scene of other plays that day. The costume teacher in his 70s said, "Sorry, the director, I didn't bring the clothes at home." The director scolded him 2 In an hour, a furious scolding, the eight generations of their ancestors scolded. There were so many people at the scene and no one came out. I asked if I could persuade me, and they "shouped", scared that level, and let the director scold the old man with white hair. The old man's attitude was good, and he kept saying that I went back to get it right away.

I couldn't help it later, so I expressed my dissatisfaction next to the director. The result was later, of course, I got out of the time because it was not suitable for this role. I don't regret it at all, I feel what I should do. This matter is also very big to me. I think there is a beautiful thing in the nature of girls in nature. Knowing what people treat people like people, and he does not love people at all, what kind of works can cooperate with him Woolen cloth? From then on, I slowly knew that this job was not as simple as I imagined. The enthusiasm, light, and beauty in my eyes were disappearing. It turns out that I am very strong, these things have made me lose weight, and it becomes me now. At that time, I was not doubtful about the industry. I knew that people would not grow so smoothly. It was a kind of disappointment, overwhelming and confusion.

Before, I was as happy as a fool since I was young, and I liked to be a good child and good students. Mom and dad and teachers like you very much. Suddenly I want to be an actor. Although my father is unwilling, you have done it. They also understand you. You are admitted to the school again and you can become an actor who want to be. Not going smoothly. When you graduate into reality, every little thing is a particularly big blow. It is enough for you to stun for a while, swimming, and the soul does not know where.

I am waiting, I am anxious, and I don't know what to do. I will go to jumping, and I will jump madly. Every day I feel that I can only do a particularly important thing every day. Because you don't have a stage, but you are still eager to be watched. Dancing alone seems to be able to release something in his heart. Maybe I can feel what others are seeing you crazy, but at that time I could ignore anything.

2

It is a wonderful thing for me to enter the theater. Some theaters can play stage scenes, which means that I have a position, and I can slowly reserve myself here, accumulate my ability, and do this line. At that time, I also hoped to prove that I was in the theater that whether the role was big or small. As long as I could stand up and stand in the corner of the stage, others could see me, that was a good actor.

At the same time, I have been lazy about film and television opportunities. I may have my own self -esteem and pride. At that time, I was not very embarrassed to take my resume everywhere. Do you ask this group to need people? Does that group need someone? And I tried the scene, no one, no one told you, there is a sense of frustration that does not seem to be respected. Now that I am in the theater, I will focus on the focus on the side. It may also be an excuse for myself, so I no longer think about it (laugh).

At least three times, when a very good and important film and television drama character found me, when I encountered the theater, I would choose the theater. I know that film and television opportunities may be more important for myself, and the drama is not dazzling at that time, but I am very honest in this regard. I feel that I am a theater. Not too much.

I have never broken the desire to perform film and television dramas. Seeing everyone slowly start filming, I am pretty good.

I received the "Night Car" directed by Diao Yi male in 2006. I'm quite surprised. The script is very good. Such opportunities are important for actors, and so far I have not encountered a lot. This is a feminine drama, which is rare.

I won the international actress award. I seemed to be proud. At that time, the ambition was quite strong. In fact, it was a self -comfort, and not many people knew. I thought I had played such an important role, and the movie was not bad. Everyone will notice your existence, but in fact, few people are looking for you.

Picture source movie "Night Car"

I have known that it is good to create a role well. When I was young, I filmed some plays, such as "Xiajing Hutong". I am the youngest among the actors. I filmed with a group of special actors such as Chen Baoguo and Teacher Wang Ji. At that time, they said, Liu Dan, you became hot after the play, because they thought I performed well, and I was very eager at the time. Because of various reasons, this play has not been released until several years later may be released at 11pm. There is also "Interpol", which cut me a lot, because at that time I felt that the villain's drama was too strong. I also have that kind of silly expectation, but later I found that it was not very good, so even if, what can I do? Can't say who you see me on the street. Forget it, that's it, I have long been used to it.

I used to think that if you really play well, you can see it. Sometimes, the director said that I played well and the producer said good, but the later scenes stopped looking for me. I do n’t know why, I do n’t know if my communication ability or the show is not good. In addition to the directors of directors Li Wenqi, such as "Lin Haixueyuan" and "Back to the City" will find me, there are not many other plays.

Tell the director who has worked with a cooperative director, can you take me again, I think this is a violation of others. Don't force others, this is unfair to others.

I am very embarrassed to ask for someone, maybe because the actor's behavior has always been passive, the candidates are selected, and my personality is also passive. I did not want to add trouble to others since I was a child. Some people know how to show weakness, know how to communicate, and take out my difficulties. I seem to have a bad ability in this part.

Seeing the leader at the theater, I felt that they were like my parents, and others could be joked when they saw the leader. I have never been able to do it, and I am envious of them. When I went to the bathroom, I just met the dean on the face. I also wanted to say two more words, saying that I like to act very much, and there are any plays to let me try, even if I am acting in group B, but I am embarrassed. Okay, turn around and leave, not even the bathroom. It was difficult to communicate with people, and it became more and more difficult. I'm really a bit out of groups, and I have very little people with this industry. It seems that the independent personality and the world may be more important for the profession of actors. I think it ’s good to do whatever you take the initiative when everyone is not very familiar, so that you have the opportunity to slowly understand each other.

I am not a very proud person, but there is a proud thing in my body, I don't know what it is, now there may be. But people have to be a bit a bit unable to touch. I don't know what it has to do with self -esteem, but I don't think it's terrible.

There are some things in this circle. When I was young, I didn't understand it, especially to make the actor exposure and treat the actor as a product. I also tried to sign a company before, but there may also be his difficulties. The drama I picked up was to help people series, and later it was gone.

In the past two years, there are a lot of opportunities to cooperate with me, and they will continue to find me after a show. I am particularly happy.

Picture source movie "Midsummer Future"

3

Getting married in her 30s may be a kind of escape for me, but it may not just be this.

The act of acting is chosen by others. You can't do anything, at least life you can choose. I also want to appreciate these things called life, and I know what I feel better, what exactly does it mean for me.

I took the initiative to make decisions in my life, and it was my active decision to ask my child. To a certain extent, my mother is very satisfied with my expectations. I felt that there was nothing concerned about by a plane before. I would not care about myself for a while. I felt that I was not so important, but after having a child, I felt that I would be afraid for the first time.

To put it utilitarian, see who plays her mother, and I know if she has a child at a glance. You can feel it if you really perform. Many things you know because you have experienced it.

The determination to be a mother will consider a considerable degree of sacrifice. In fact, it is not enough to consider. When the child really appears in your world, there is no preparation. When the child was two or three years old, I suddenly realized that there were particularly specific things to do, but they were all doing for others. Leave less and less time, and I am very happy to sleep for a while.

It turned out that I was a very energetic person, I didn't know tiredness, and I could not sleep for a few days, but since then I feel that I have been aging. Play with your child, you will say you are going to sleep quickly, I beg you.

It is actually a kind of powerlessness, finding that it cannot be done, and starting to be grievances and complaints, unlike being as patient as before. Patience, the word is terrible, that is, I don't want to. In fact, my child is very good and obedient. From an early age, he is not the kind of noisy child. It is never difficult for me.

Do you think, is this the life I want? For actors, some people like her independence, beauty, and romance, as if there is no trace of life. One day you look at yourself, very strange housewives, do not repair the width, the two eyes are particularly crazy, I do n’t know what is pursuing, what to do, especially anxious, it is terrible at that stage. You don't know if you can leave this reality in the future, and then do what you want to do. At that time, there were jobs, but it would become very little.

Obviously this is what you choose, but you still can't do it, you think it will be destroyed by how much confidence in people. These are the things that appear, but the real reason is not children, family, labor, or what you want to do most.

I am very blunt, and I can't get out of it. Like in the quagmire, the more I feel the more I feel more struggling. There is nothing else besides horror, and there have been so many time.

Sometimes I listen to music, no matter what music is, at that time to forget how to dance, I just want to move, a little like a dream. Sometimes when stewed beef, jump up, sometimes holding the child with jumping together. Sometimes the more jumps, the happier, and sometimes the more sad, this is the release of emotions. It was very important to release at that time.

I have to let myself do one independent time every day, such as going to swim near home every day. Swimming is a exit of mine. People are too nervous. The shoulders, waist, and cervical spine are hard. The back feels like a hard bump, and I can't rub it with my hands. The water is particularly gentle, and when I can feel the gentleness of the water, I am gentle. The water is quiet and wonderful. I think everyone will find a similar way to give them the opportunity to face their own situation. My complaint can be much less after swimming. My freedom, some things, seem to be able to recover again, hopeful.

Being a mother is also a very important opportunity to reflect on yourself. I think the biggest help of my child to me is to let me know that I must love myself again before I can love others. For a while because you are too sad, you don't know how to love yourself anymore. 4

At that time, I had realized a crisis, and I felt that it might be too late if it was not acting. I might never be a good actor, and I could never even perform the show.

I realize that I have a lot of deficiencies. First of all, I do n’t have enough time on the stage. To really perform, instead of relying on the daily imagination and feelings at home. I kept reminding myself: I am an actor, I am an actor.

Gulou West Theater gave me a chance. They also saw my previous drama performance and found me. That was in 2016.

After so long waiting, I will not be confident. When I was a child, the original and natural power, in the process, had some consumption and lost a lot of things. I did not protect my confidence.

I am getting older every day, and my body has matured to start downhill, I am scared. In the past, you only knew to grow forward. Although I experienced some painful things, I still grew up. But at that time you know that if you grow up again, you really go to middle age. At least you should have a normal work rhythm and feeling, but at that time I felt that it was not so easy.

I am growing up, but I still have no improvement in work. I seem to have a label on my "failure", which makes me feel that I am not good enough and do not work hard. These influences are one day, not all of a sudden. I knew it afterwards. When I realized, the damage was quite heavy.

At the beginning, I was unwilling to admit it, but I just felt a little worried. The consequence of me was that I would sweat nervously, not as before -ready, let me come to power, and let me come to power. Some feelings are different.

I am not confident, but I can't tell others, don't we play. I even thought: When I played the bell for the third time, I suddenly fainted and could not perform. I also know that if I want to pretend to be fainted, I can't do the actor anymore, and I can no longer stand on the stage.

The only thing I can do is to persist, I believe I can survive, because I still want to stand on it. In those two or three years, I kept performing, constantly performing, one drama and a play, spending day by day. At that time, I felt that I had no hope, I felt really impossible, I couldn't express my understanding, my condition was not good, and I was dissatisfied with myself. You also know that the most important problem is that your confidence is shaken. You know where the problem is, there is no other way except persistence.

I have to tell myself every day, I can, I can, I'm actually not sure if it is. Suddenly one day became a little easier, and it was no longer so hard, especially the first and last scene of a play felt different. Although I am nervous and not so good, as long as it is operating, it will still be good. I believe that in a positive state, the potential can be inspired, and it is difficult to be too much when there are too many fear.

When you have such a big psychological crisis, keep going, knowing what you have paid, even if you do n’t see the effect in a short time, but the previous experience is enough to make you believe that there will be some gains. At that time, you won't ask yourself, how these efforts will be, only know that there is a goal, and we must better stand on the stage. This goal is very specific: I have to wait until the bell.

Liu Dan starred in the drama "Good Night, Mom"

The real acting is more than these two years. I met my sister in Cannes before. She asked me, do you not act? Are you very good? I said no, I do n’t know why, this distance has been maintained for decades, and I have always wanted to play film and television. I said you are about to save me, and if you don't save me, I will die, and then I sign in the agency of my sister.

I have too little filming, I don't think I can wait that, because the feeling of acting is too good.

Many of them are the role of functional elders now. There is no way. People engaged in this industry are becoming younger. Young people have more opportunities. They also lead to little opportunities for some good actors. I feel a bit unsafe. The male and female protagonists are all young people. Moms and dads are bound to make a hindrance plot, a background, and the existence of a background. The functionality is to serve others. Some are even incomplete and limited. The reason why I also took is because I used to have so long time to start filming. Try how the possibilities I have.

After performing "The beginning", I told Teacher Qi that they said that I was out. Many people were sure. I have fans now. I am so happy. Thank you for letting me do this. I think this seems to be a certain logo, that is, there must be an echo if you don't forget.

In fact, I know that even if this is not the case, I am still good in my teacher's mind. After graduating, I heard that my teacher often mentioned my name when he was teaching. I think as a teacher, he is also eager to be acknowledged by the society, just like he acknowledged me.

This is also a good gift for my father and mother. There may be no "beginning", they will pinch my sweat for me, and they will worry about me. What should I do at this age? What should I do so stupidly? This is a real comfort for people who love me and are frightened for me.

Tuyuan TV series "End"

In the past two years, the filming has become more, as if I have changed a little. In the past, others felt that Sister Dan didn't like speaking and was more introverted. I have a habit until now, most of the rehearsal hiding in the corner. Part of the part is because I want to do what to prepare, and the other is from then on. I feel that I am not a person who is very good at dealing with others. I am more boring. Comparing a serious book, work is work, filming is filming, we do something else after filming. Maybe my age is a bit older. Sometimes I see a unhappy child, I feel very distressed, I think of myself, I want to find a chance to give him a cup of coffee or a sugar, and I do n’t say anything. Because I have also had the experience of being cared for by colleagues, he is not your family, but your colleague, and the beauty at that time is very moving.

When I was in the most difficult time, I had the opportunity to perform in the West Theater in Gulou. At first, I was also very unfamiliar. There were also running -in, but they performed there again and again, and suddenly one day became your home. When the epidemic, will I think they can still open it? What help do they need? What can I do? This is a natural thing.

Including once I went to the company and wanted to talk to my sister, she asked me to wait for her. They were talking about the work of actors. I waited for 2 hours and heard my eyes so wide, and I knew that their work was so detailed. I was shocked. I was ignorant. I only knew these things after decades. I might stay in my world for a long time, and sometimes I ignored the difficulty of others.

It was very good to see by the public, I couldn't see it, and I was used to it. Without "beginning", I wouldn't worry at all, and I was worried about these things. It's the most important thing now, I really think so now. People become a life, come to this world, become themselves, from life to death, there is nothing bigger than life and death. This sounds a bit metaphysical, but it is true. If you work hard for your favorite things, you don't regret it. What else is more important than this?

I didn't understand it for a while, why should I choose such a job. People live a variety of demands, and your appeal is recognized by others? Some things are unable to choose from people. I have a little believe that I like acting, not what I can choose, I can't choose anything else, and I don't want to choose anything else. It seems to be the arrangement of fate. I think everyone's mission is different.

This is all the things that have been thought about in the past ten years, and realizing that the existence of people has great charm itself. No matter what kind of person is, when you watch and feel without any purpose, it is easy to establish a connection between people. This kind of connection is quite moving, which may be what people need the most.

Acting is not a thing that we must ask others. Do your best to do what you need to do well. It is a matter of others. I am just an individual who is like everyone. I am lucky to be able to act, and do my work that I still love so far. That's all.

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