Ten years of bitter history of graduation: ten unforgettable perceptions

Text ｜ Zhang Ning

First introduce my experience.

I graduated from Qingdao Agricultural University (formerly called Laiyang Agricultural College), and received a doctorate degree in a research institute of the Chinese Academy of Sciences six years later.

After the first doctorate in Fudan University, he moved to the other end of the earth. He successively worked as a postdoctoral or research scientist at Pennsylvania State University, the American Natural History Museum, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA), and the American Pharmacopoeia. In 2020, I officially produced and operated a thesis service agency full -time.

In a blink of an eye, I have graduated for 12 years and lived in the United States for ten years.

White foal passed the gap, time was ，. I am also in the year of no confusion. Looking back at the roads, what happened, and the people who met, it was a bit vague, but it seemed to be in front of me.

To sum up ten unforgettable feelings, I hope to provide everyone with a little bit of ideas, and the path of life can be slightly flat.

1. Happy Wife, Happy Life.

This is a very classic Western proverb. If you want to live a lifetime, the daughter -in -law must wait.

Of course, the "good service" here does not refer to please, but to make your daughter -in -law be satisfied with material and spiritual. She is satisfied, and the family is harmonious.

For example, at the age of thirty, I always wanted to correct my daughter -in -law, and always wanted to ask her according to her own ideas. Later, after several big quarrels, I found that this method did not work. She didn't change much, and I was struggling to please in order to save the relationship.

So, if I can't get used to it, I will try to make myself a blind eye. Now, I don't think it is a problem, because the three views are even more consistent. We are all closer to each other. This is the result of communication.

Some time ago, my nine -year -old daughter asked me, "Dad, why don't you quarrel with your mother? Remember when you were a kid, you two still quarreled."

Well, even she noticed this change, it seems that I did change.

2. Find the reason from yourself, don't complain.

Complaining has no effect, it can only make the other party more annoying you, increase the resistance, and be deeply caught in it. You can only change your way of acting and looking at the world.

As long as there is a problem, it must be the reason for both parties, not the other party's fault. If you are always struggling with other people's problems, you will never improve.

What you can do is to change your way and see where you have something wrong. Do not have the same mistakes next time. When the other party sees your reflection and changes, there will be more or less concessions and changes.

Or do the example of me and my daughter -in -law. When I was young, the child was crying, and I would say, why do n’t you be a mother? The child must listen to you most, and I coax is useless.

In fact, my approach at that time was not only to shirk myself to raise the child's responsibility, but also calculated the responsibility of the child's crying to her head.

Now, we all think of ways together, how to make children not cry, whoever has time to take care of the child. This is the change I made after I took the initiative to reflect on myself.

Take another example of my graduate student. I am not an obedient student, so I am often trained by tutors. Every time I was trained, I was sad and a little resentful, but I woke up the next day, and I would think about whether I was really not doing well, and then I made up my mind to correct it.

I have a day and three provinces. Everyone can find their own reasons, instead of staring at the shortcomings and mistakes on others, this society is harmonious.

3. Be good with others and do not be a lone man.

When I was in college and graduate students, I claimed to be "alone", so I was alone, and I felt a little pregnant. But as a result, my classmates were isolated from me, and I did not feel so comfortable in those years.

I don't know when it will start, I am willing to share with others, and I am willing to cooperate with others. I guess it should be after I was a company. Because this is a change that I have to do, I will not cooperate, how to be a company.

Now, I feel that my life is more happy, and the people around them are also pleasing to the eye, and others are also friendly to me.

In fact, many obstacles are set by yourself. You have demolished psychological barriers, others can enter your world, everything is transparent.

4. Do what you like will not feel a waste of life.

Still saying myself.

Maybe my self -awareness is stronger. When working in the unit, I always feel that I am wasting life and feel a bit of foreign workers.

But when I do my own company's business, I will encounter a lot of difficulties and more troubles, but I feel that this is all should be, all of which are hone my mind. The reason is because I like business and do not like to do scientific research.

For me, the scientific research feedback cycle is too long, and business can see the effect faster.

If you like something, you will have strong will and beliefs to persist without lingering. If you don't like it, you must constantly convince yourself, what's the point of doing this. This is a kind of mental internal consumption.

Therefore, I suggest that if you really have inner preferences, you must find a way to achieve it and take the first step bravely.

5. Control your emotions and not be controlled by emotions. Hi anger and sorrow are human nature, but emotions can often be bad.

As an adult, you should need to control your emotions, because emotions cannot help you solve the problem.

For example, when making a decision, if you are mixed with emotions, your decision may be irrational. After your emotions, you will regret your decision. When you get along with people, if you always have emotions, especially negative emotions, you will become a popular person. We try to bring a beautiful side to others, not the dark side.

However, everyone will have emotions more or less. My approach is that if you have emotions, you can change the environment as soon as possible, such as going out and walking, exercising, and taking this matter after a while. In most cases, your emotions have passed.

6. Believe in your judgment, don't be easily affected by others, but you need to listen to the opinions of others.

In fact, you must be confident and believe in your judgment.

For example, I was doing the dissertation business at the time. At the beginning, many friends said that this business is quite mature, why do you want to do it? Indeed, when I did it, there were already several mature companies. I can't tell why I do it, because I don't have a lot of choices.

My reason is that I can do well. I am from scientific research and understand this industry. This is my advantage. After I did it for a few years, I found that there are still many incomplete places in this industry, and I found a differentiated breakthrough point. Now many colleagues have feedback that we do well.

Therefore, if you want to do one thing, others say no, don't shake easily, because the person who gives you opinion may be a layman, he doesn't understand.

In fact, you can't find any subject or industry that no one has been studied now. What we need to do is to dig deep in a certain field. If you do it, you will find new problems and find a new direction.

7. Keeping up and learning mentality, and learning as needed.

Lifetime learning, living to old, learning old. Don't think that you don't need to study if you graduate.

In fact, learning includes many aspects, do not limit learning to professional knowledge. Instead, always maintain a open mind and learn from anyone. There must be my teacher in the three people, and anyone can learn where you can learn.

I often tell my children the truth. I said, although you are smaller than me, you will play the piano, and I won't know it at all. I can learn from you. In this regard, you are my teacher.

We want to see the highlights of others, praise and learn. Of course, anyone has disadvantages, and we don't need to dislike and blame.

Learning new things is a kind of pleasure, and has always been curious. For example, I have done scientific research before, but now I have done scientific research services. Lectures, chatting with others.

8. A love for life and maintaining an optimistic attitude.

Roman Roland said that the highest state of life is that after recognizing the truth of life, he still loves life.

After 30 years of age, the burden on the body is getting sinking -children, families, and elderly people are not as physical as before. Life is like a journey without turning back. It is only once for everyone. We should live ourselves and not let ourselves regret.

Personally, I also occasionally feel lost. For example, after the age of 40, the body will change significantly, there are more white hair, the body is prone to fatigue, and there will be a sense of crisis. However, I will persuade myself to accept myself and reconcile with myself, so that my mentality is peaceful.

In fact, every stage of life has a wonderful part. For example, when we were young, we grew carefree under the care of our parents; when we were young, we had an endless energy; in middle age , Career reached its peak; in his later years, we can remove the burden of life and have a lot of time to do what we want to do.

Even if we face death, we can say that I can finally rest.

9. First meet the docile in front of you, and at the same time do not give up the distance.

In my opinion, most people cannot leave the material foundation to talk about ideals and happiness, so we must satisfy the in front of you, that is, the material foundation.

I have encountered some post -doctoral in the United States, and I have always maintained a love of scientific research. Maybe because I lack some luck, I have not been independent, so I can only be a postdoctoral post -doctoral. It is conceivable that such a life does not allow his wife and children to live a relatively stable life.

Therefore, I personally think that it should still be actually more. Do not sacrifice the happiness of the entire family because of some pursuits. If you really have a dream, you can also pursue the premise of meeting material needs.

This is also the case for graduate students. Many people find that they do not like to do scientific research after being admitted to graduate students, and want to get rid of this environment earlier.

I think the best way is to meet the most basic requirements for getting graduate graduation as soon as possible. After getting a degree, it is not too late to pursue your ideal profession.

10. Focus, do something, do something.

When we were young, we thought we had infinite possibilities. At this age, I found that what I can do is very limited. This is not to say that I have admitted my fate, but I think that focusing is the right path. Don't see wherever you see, so you will always one step or more steps later than others.

Success and failure entrepreneurs verified this. Successful entrepreneurs such as Cao Dewang can make the glass of the world first, so there is no need to be anxious even in the face of the epidemic; there are too many unsuccessful, such as many companies, if you see real estate, you discard the main business to do real estate However, when the economic situation is not good, real estate is not good, and its main business is deserted. A small commodity, if you are using it all over the world, it is also a large volume. The same is true for scientific research. In a certain field, you have studied deeply enough. If you are an expert in this field, you can find more new problems and more new discoveries.

Therefore, we must restrain our desires, be down -to -earth, and strengthen in our own field, rather than blindly pursuing big and comprehensive.

The above ten o'clock, pure personal perception, I have summarized it after I experienced countless pits. I will share it with everyone. I hope that more people can take less detours in the future.

In fact, I know that even if you read my article, you won't take less detours, because life is the case. Life is mostly painful and occasional happiness, and we cannot surpass as people.

But I hope that after you walk around, think of my summary, you can adjust your mentality as soon as possible, and return to the right track.

(Author is a blogger of Science Network)

Edit | Fangyuan

Capture | Guo Gang

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