What is your parents' experience over interfering with your life?

The night wind of the early autumn blew the curtains, and the moonlight fell on the window sill through glass. I was lying on the bed, sleepy, and habitually picked up my phone and brushed my circle of friends.

At this moment, I saw a school girl updated her dynamics. Probably the content was that her parents had arranged her life since childhood. Now, the school girl hopes to stay in a big city, but her parents have to go back to her hometown.

It turned out that everyone had the feeling of interference in our lives, and they seemed to always like to arrange everything. From a kid to help you choose interesting classes, to help you choose a major when you are going to school, and then you can choose a job after graduation. They always like to help you make decisions, choose everything they think are "right", and think that this is the "best" choice.

I have always felt that my life script has been done by my parents since I was born.

6 years old

Learn dance, improve the body, and improve physical fitness.

Put on a thin gauze, wear beautiful decoration, integrate the figure and music, and dance freely on the lighting stage ...

This is my mother's fantasy when I dance, and it is precisely because of this fantasy that she asked me who liked to paint when she was a child.

⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰

Selected the Department of Store and entered the university as an ordinary candidate.

As a teenager, it is always easy to romantic and impulsive. I always want to do something for the world, and I want some changes in this world.了解了许多媒体从业者的故事后，我特别崇拜他们“铁肩担道义，妙手著文章”的样子，希望自己也可以进入这一行，了解并传递别人的故事，让世界或者某一个人、某A group is better because of his own.

Therefore, I had the idea of ​​studying literature and participation in art test directors. After my parents knew it, I tried to oppose it:

"Can liberal arts have science and employment?"

"When the reporter, run the west every day, work and life is unstable"

"You just want to escape from learning by learning art"

I didn't dare to refute, I had to silently put away my longing for the media, filled the word "science" in the sub -science intent, and continued to bury the troops in high school.

⏰ 18 years old

Reading a university near home, studying teachers, law or public security majors.

As my parents wished, I spent three years in high school and stable, and I was about to fill in volunteers to start college life.

I hope to fill in the journalism of the big cities, and my parents hope that I will choose a school near my home, studying teachers, laws or public security majors in order to take public examination editors. They still use the old set of words to oppose the idea of ​​learning news, and think that the idea of ​​staying in a big city is so high and unrealistic.

22 years old

Back to my hometown, find a stable job.

I have not forgotten the media dream of my teenager. The career plan has always been a journalist to go to big cities. They did not recognize, and hurried all opportunities to persuade me to return to my hometown, constantly tell the benefits of staying in my hometown, and at the same time instilling the idea of ​​being difficult to survive from big cities:

"My colleague’s child is in a big city and is still renting a house now, and moved seven or eight a year"

"Your cousin is now a teacher of the county primary school. It is less than 10 minutes every day at work, and you can go home for dinner on weekends."

"Life pressure in big cities is very stressful"

24 years old

Dating, ready to get married.

You do n’t allow you to fall in love when you go to school. When you graduate, you want you to get married immediately. This should be a common mentality of Chinese parents. In their planning, it is best not to fall in love during school, and you should get married within two years of graduation.

A blind date is a relatively stable way of love in their hearts. The facial features are upright, good, local, locals, and a stable job in the future. This is the standard for finding a blind date in their hearts. They even thought about how long I had a child after marriage, a few children, and who the children were taken care of.

"Early, take children, take advantage of the parents of both parties to help you take care of your children together"

"Born two children, they are good at companion"

My life trajectory seems to be scheduled, what kind of university is studying, what kind of majors to learn, what kind of work do you do, when to fall in love, and when to get married, my parents have planned all this long ago.

Since childhood, I have been thinking about why my parents interfere with my life?

I don't want to have a lifetime according to their arrangements, but to control my life trajectory in my own hands.

When he reported his volunteers, he took exhaustion of his words. I still chose the major I like and went to study more than 1,000 kilometers away from home. When I was close to graduation, I did not listen to their suggestions to stay in my hometown, but chose to come to Beijing alone.

The first impression of the huge Beijing city seems to never need to rest. Whether it is in the morning or late at night, people who hurriedly guard their tracks.

In fact, before I came to Beijing, I did not work under the ground line, so I was shocked by the urgent and serious working atmosphere of the unit when I first arrived. There are many tasks that the intern should undertake every day. In addition, when the business is not skilled at first -time business, I am drowned by a huge workload every day.

The work is not smooth, and renting a house is not concerned. There was a dispute in the landlord's house. The house I rented was harassed three times and five times. The landlord first tried to help solve it. In the end, I went directly to the "guest order". I never expected that I would face the problem of "homelessness" in less than two months when I came to Beijing.

It's another morning to get off work in the early morning. As I walked home, I looked at the house information, looking at the surrounding high -rise buildings and car water. I asked myself: Is this really Beijing? The child was wronged and wanted to find his own parents for the first time. I called my mother's call and choked to tell her my recent encounter. I thought she would blame me and laughed at me. This was myself.

Who knows that the mother on the phone immediately said with distress: "Come back if you feel tired, there is no shortage of your meal at home, and go home to rest at so late!" After hanging up the phone, the mother immediately transferred me. I told me not to treat myself outside.

Yeah, how can parents bear to see their children not live well! All their interference is using their own life experience to help you avoid risks and detours. Interference and friends are afraid that the children will go astray when they encounter people who encounter people; I hope that children stay with them to work, and they are afraid that children will go to strange cities alone to work hard ...

The original intention of parents has always been for their own children!

But why did this interference of "love in love" put pressure on us?

We are not products on the assembly line. It is impossible to be "made" according to the mode set of parents. We have our own consciousness and thoughts, and we have our own vision for the future. Furthermore, we can't live a lifetime under the care of our parents. We have come into contact with the risks we should contact early. We will definitely touch the detours that we will inevitably touch.

So how can we "get rid of" our parents' over -interference?

Parents are not flood beasts. They must learn to communicate with them and let them understand your thoughts. For example, parents don't want you to work hard alone in a strange city. You must let them feel your longing for this city and this job, but also let them see that you have the determination to suffer and the ability to suffer.

Inheritance of the previous article, I did not work well when I first arrived in Beijing and rented a house. After adjusting my mentality, I actively worked hard to adapt to my work. Many things do not understand. When my colleagues discussed, I listened carefully and desperately drawn "common sense"; the article was not written, and I changed to its behavior ... Gradually, I could be more than at work. The new rental house is not convenient to commute, but fortunately don't worry about "homelessness".

After work and life enters the right track, I will share some daily life with my parents from time to time. After the first article after work was published, I immediately forwarded them to see that although they didn't say anything on their mouths, they still shared it to the first time to share it. Circle of friends.

My parents were surprised to my growth and moved my love. In recent dialogues, they rarely mention the word "home work". After trying the sweetness of communication, I communicated with them many plans on the future. They did not explicitly support, but said "you are big, you can control your business, don't future don't care, don't future don't. Crying my noses and looking for us to complain, we don’t listen. "

At this point, my parents and I reached a reconciliation.

"Growth is like learning to ride a bicycle. It is impossible for people to teach forever. The moment when the child is really growing up, we must believe that the child has the ability to live a good life. ! ""

Parents are the most children in the world. If you feel that their interference makes you pressure, you may wish to communicate with them in time and prove that your thoughts are feasible with practical actions. I believe parents will understand.

Source | Zhongqing School Media

Text | Yang Zilin

Picture Source | Visual China

China Youth Daily · China Youth Online Production

- END -