Before the start of school, children always say that they do not want to go to school. Doing these three things is the key

ID: qzlgzs

At the end of the summer, everyone will talk about a topic at the same time: starting school anxiety.

Teachers and parents often complain: Children are afraid of starting school.

Some children even say to the adult: "Mom, I don't want to go to school."

At this time, parents and children are very needed to "join" to help their children find their learning status.

Today, I will share this article with parents to discuss with you. After the holidays, how to deal with the psychological problems where children do not want to go to school.

the first thing

After the summer end

The psychology of "don't want to go to school" is normal

Understand the child's resistance

After the holiday, the negative emotions of the child's "do not want to go to school" are essentially different from the "learning" we often say.

Learning is generally referring to the existence of children in learning and understanding. The behavior response mode of negatively treating learning activities. It occurs in daily learning life, leading to psychological problems for children.

However, after the long holiday is over, he does not want to go to school. It is often because of changes in life and learning environment, and the child has a short period of discomfort.

This emotion will not last too long. Generally, only one week, children can fully adapt to school life.

Anxiety will not only appear on students, but many teachers will also double psychological pressure before school.

It is normal for this anxiety to appear.

There is a concept in psychology called the flywheel effect.

In order to turn the static flywheel, you must make a lot of strength at the beginning, push repeatedly in a circle, a circle, and every circle is laborious, but the efforts of each circle will not be wasted. Fast and faster, when you reach the back, you don't need to spend more effort, and the flywheel will still rotate quickly.

Just like when we are riding a bicycle, when we start to set off, they will always be more strenuous when they start, but it will be relaxed later.

Therefore, the pressure that the child feels at the beginning of the new semester is the greatest, and everything is always difficult to start. During this period, it is precisely when he takes up his confidence and courage to take the first step.

So in response to this anxiety, the most important step is to understand the child's resistance.

Many parents are hearing that their children do not want to go to school, and they always have bitterly instilling the principle of him: "How to do not study, all children will go to school, you don't go to school now, what do you do in the future?"

Repeatedly emphasized the consequences of schooling, which increased the child's psychological burden.

We might as well think in other places. If you are working hard recently, I go home and say to my family, "I don’t want to go to work anymore!"

I guess, you don't want to hear the other party and say, "How can you do if you don’t go to work, how to live a big family!"

You are more willing to listen to each other and say, "Is it difficult for work? Tell me."

The same is true for children. When he complains with you: "I don't want to go to school", it does not mean that the child really doesn't want to go to school. He just wants you to understand his mood and affirm his pain.

If you agree with his emotions and are willing to ask and listen, your child will be much better.

Second thing

The more fully prepared before school

The more able to effectively reduce anxiety

When we understand why children don't want to go to school, the next step is to help children solve the problem from the source.

The children are unwilling to go to school after their holidays. Generally, there are the following reasons: academic pressure, do not want to separate from parents, changes in the rhythm of life, and social pressure in the school.

Parents can help their children from these four aspects. If they just educate them purely, they often do not achieve the effect. Acting will always be a good medicine for treatment of anxiety.

(1) About academic pressure

One week before the start of school, it is generally the peak period for elementary school students to concentrate on summer vacation.

Some families join the army: manual work, scientific experiments, social practice ...

At this stage, it is often the period when parent -child conflicts have exploded, because parents always can't help complaining about their children's waste holidays.

In fact, the more this moment, the more we have to face the school with children, encourage and criticize more, and some really endless homework. During the start of school, I explained to the teacher with the children during the start.

This is to increase the child's confidence in the start of the school and let the child start school without burden.

(2) About you do not want to separate from your parents

Not only children in kindergartens will have separation anxiety, and older children will also give birth and anxiety because they want to leave their parents.

I remember that a young reader friend in the background once admitted: I have been in college, and I will still be sad to cry before school, because I can't bear to leave home.

Nostalgia for family life will allow children to resist school.

Regarding this, we only need to accompany them, letting children know that after school, it will not affect your attention and companionship, such as we still have time to get along at night and weekends.

(3) Regarding changes in the living environment and rhythm

The school's study and life is very regular. Preparing with the children in advance can reduce the adaptation problem after enrollment. There are mainly the following points:

Adjust your diet and return to the regular diet of three meals a day; implement the child's schedule during school in advance; appropriately increase the exercise and liberate the child from the electronic screen.

Make these preparations can effectively help children bid farewell to the laziness of the holidays, connect with barrier -free daily life after school, and welcome the new semester with a full mental state.

(4) Difficulty in interpersonal communication

What children want to face at school are not only learning, but also classmates, teacher -student relationships. Some children are often arguing between students and classmates. Without good interpersonal relationships, it is easy to be lonely.

The reason why these children do not want to start school are simple: there are no friends in the school.

Children's world is not always happy. At this time, we must not only provide emotional guidance for children, but also provide some social methods and skill guidance appropriately.

For example, they usually consciously increase social activities, actively invite children in the community to play at home, encourage children to contact classmates in advance, and so on.

Third thing

Try to use a sense of ritual

Improving children's expectations for the new semester

Looking back at us, there will be similar start -up anxiety, but this anxiety comes fast and fast.

Before the start of school, we will prepare new stationery, especially the stationery box printed on the box, and write our own names and classes on the new book.

Moms and dads will also use newspapers and old calendars to give the new schoolbags on the new schoolbag. The sense of opening ceremony has given us new expectations for the start of school.

The sense of ritual can help children relieve anxiety.

There is also a similar sense of ritual abroad. It is a particularly important day for elementary school students in the UK on the first day. On this day, children will wear school uniforms, take the schoolbags who go to school, and take pictures at the door of the house.

In Germany, children's enrollment is also one of the major events of the whole family. Before the start ceremony, parents do a "enrollment gift bag" for their children, like ice cream egg tube, which is filled with snacks, toys and stationery.

They have a song of "Sweet Sweet School Bag": Whether you want or not, you must go to school. Let this bag of sweet wishes and make the first day of school sweet.

These preparations full of rituals help enhance children's expectations for the new environment. It is also solemnly telling children: you want to start a new stage on the road.

We can also accompany the children to do a lot of ritual things:

Ready to wear clothes on the first day of school; add new notebooks, pen boxes, pencils, rubber rubbings, etc.; Make exquisite book skin with children ...

These trivial things that sound insignificant will make children take the school more seriously.

In the new semester, the new starting point, the full preparation of the last week before the start of the school, helping the child to devote the vibrant to the next study life

Illustration design ｜ in

Author of this article ｜ Qian Zhiliang, famous teacher of Beijing Normal University. Focus on special education, family education, and early childhood education. He is the author of "Early Entry", "Early Education of Science", "140 Chinese characters that are urgently used first," and so on.

Editor in charge ｜ Wang Jiashi

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