Talking about the "mind", come and learn!

Today is the 7th year of the 7th year of the sky with you

Individual talk is the traditional practice of our military's political work. As an important starting point for regular ideas, it is a compulsory course for the backbone of each grass -roots cadre. Let me introduce the mental skills and methods in the perspective of psychology.

We found that the most worried issues that everyone was most worried about in our hearts was unable to talk, unable to talk, and the effect was not good. In order to solve these problems, in addition to mastering the theory of mind, the most important thing is that we also need to learn how to talk about the methods and skills and conduct corresponding practical training.

Case

After the name of Saturday night, a squad leader reported to Zhang Paichang that the recruit Xiao Liu was very low in his mood because he was not selected as a jump demonstration umbrella.

After learning about this, Zhang Pai decided to talk to Xiao Liu at the moment.

When I checked the whistle that night, Zhang Pai Chang saw Xiao Liu lying on the bed and tossing around, and then decided to talk to Xiao Liu now.

(1) Import stage: smooth development

This is the dialogue between the two people during the introduction stage. The most critical thing in the introduction stage is to carry out smoothly to achieve the purpose of discussing.

Take the initiative. The reason why Zhang Pai was able to develop his mind smoothly was that it was actually important that he had the initiative to work. The attitude determines everything, and the same is true of our hearts. We need to have a proactive mentality. Many people feel that talking is to wait for the officers and soldiers to have a problem to come and talk by themselves, but the result that often causes is that no one talks. On the one hand, we must abandon the concept of self -centered, actively change the work style, go to the soldiers to find signals, wait for the alarm in the house, really enter the class, close to the officers and soldiers, truly grasp the realistic ideas of officers and soldiers Improve the effectiveness of ideological work. On the other hand, we must have a "user thinking" to carry out the work of talking, that is, the officials and soldiers should be centered, and we cannot "wait for the door". Instead, we must always sit in the office and wait for the officers and soldiers to knock on the door to report. Instead, you must take the initiative to talk. The current post -90s and post -00 officers and soldiers generally have strong self -esteem. Therefore, to open their hearts, we must not only take the initiative to open their doors, but also take the initiative to enter the warrior's door. Only in this way can you win the initiative when talking.

establish trust. Of course, it is not enough to have a positive attitude. If you want to develop your heart smoothly, the premise is to let the object of talk open. This requires us to pay attention to cultivating emotions with soldiers in daily work and life, establish close comrades -in -arms relationships, lay the foundation of emotion, focus on usual accumulation, and often talk to the soldiers. The officers and soldiers often talk about their hearts, the more they talk about, the more intimate. "Zhang Pai Chang in the case was able to talk smoothly, and it was inseparable from the emotional foundation of the usual affection with his comrades.

By telling his experience similar to Xiao Liu, Zhang Pai Chang caused Xiao Liu's emotional resonance and brought closer each other's psychological distance. Then we call it self -exposure. Self -exposure is a noun in psychology. It refers to our spontaneous and conscious reveal to another person. Psychological studies have shown that proper self -exposure can quickly pull closer interpersonal distance and quickly establish trust. Therefore, we cleverly use self -exposure skills in the process of talk, so that the object of talk to feel our true and sincerity, and to win the trust of the object of talk.

(2) Topic stage: communicate with heart

Facing Xiao Liu's complaints and grievances, Zhang Paichang nodded carefully and reported it carefully. It was not until Xiao Liu finished speaking and spoke without interruption. A seemingly simple but easy to ignore is to listen positively.

Listen positively. Listening is the prerequisite for communication and the basis of communication. Many times, we can't talk about it because we have not actively listened. A talked about the soldiers should first be an excellent listener, willing to listen, be patient, listen patiently, and listen with feelings, so that the opinions of the object of the mind can be fully expressed, and the voice can be fully revealed.

In the process of communication, a good listener will put 80%of attention to listening and 20%of expression. Listening and saying in the process of talking are like the two ends of the seesaw. You say more, the other party must say less, the information you hear may be incomplete, and the other party will affect the other party because it cannot feel and respect and respect. Talk about the effect. Many times our soldiers need a listener, not a reasonable leader. At this time, we listen quietly, which is silent and encouraged.

However, less speaking does not mean not to say, it does not mean completely silent. The process of listening also includes responding to the other party. When talking and expressing opinions at an appropriate time, 20%of "saying" can really play a key role. For example, on the one hand, we can actively feedback with non -verbal information such as nodding, smiling, and eye contact in time during listening, and encourage the objective objects to continue to express. On the other hand, we can ask questions in a timely manner, which not only allows the object of talk to feel that we are listening seriously, but also help us collect more comprehensive information. Therefore, in the process of talking, we must deal with the good relationship with the talk, so that listening is a powerful weapon to promote the talk.

Goodwill guidance. At the same time as Xiao Liu's problem, Zhang Pai also gave him confidence and achieved the effect of goodwill guidance. This is actually a very worthy of our attention. When many people are facing the problem of the object of mind, they either criticize a meal, hurt the self -esteem of talking about the object of the heart, or a meal, avoid the problem, and let the talk lose their direction. So learning goodwill guidance is often a key technique for successful talk.

There is such a scene in "Journey to the West":

Sun Wukong had a conflict with Tang Seng on the way to the scriptures, and Sun Wukong returned to Huaguo Mountain in one anger. If you are the leader of Sun Wukong, how should you communicate with Sun Wukong, the piercing?

The three words of the Buddha in Rulai got him:

The first sentence: You splash monkeys, and have been working hard to protect the Tang monk Xitian.

(Maybe Sun Wukong protects Tang Seng's merit.)

The second sentence: Why did the abandoned teacher return to Huaguo Mountain this time?

(This refers to his problem)

Third sentence: Go! I believe you will be able to carry forward the light and protect the Master's real scriptures.

(Put forward expectations and goals to stimulate fighting spirit)

Whether it is Zhang Pai Chang or the Buddha's approach, the method of the Buddha actually uses the sandwich effect: that is, the contents of the two praises that point out the problem and make suggestions, so that the phenomenon of the objective object to accept the opinions happily, it is called it as it is called it as it is called it. "Sandwich effect". In general, there are three steps to use the sandwich effect: affirmation of advantages, pointing out problems, and support. In this case, Zhang Paichang actually used this method, first affirmed the hard work of Xiao Liu training, then pointed out his mentality problem, and finally encouraged it.

The "two plus and one" method of the "sandwich effect" protects the self -esteem of talking about the object of mind, because it will make it feel that one part of the value on it is seen, so the opinions on this basis will feel that it is goodwill. In addition, it is more acceptable. Therefore, in the process of talking, the "sandwich effect" flexibly and guiding goodwill can make the suggestions and suggestions "delicious and delicious."

(3) Ending phase: focus on encouragement

So when it comes to this, can Zhang Pai Chang and Xiao Liu's talks end? If you think so, then you fall into the trap that most people fall into. Many people often end up at the end of their hearts, but the important process of the end of the end of the end also requires our focus on it, and the handling of this stage is often the finishing touch. Essence

Encourage. At the end, Zhang Pai Chang gave Xiao Liu Chong's encouragement and expectations. Some people may feel that a few encouragement words have nothing to do with it, and it doesn't matter if you say it, but often these encouragement words have huge power.

The expectation effect proposed by American psychologist Rosentear shows that passive expectations to a person will make him improve faster and develop better. Beautiful encouragement and expectations will often bring positive energy. It can change people's thoughts and behaviors. When a person gets the encouragement and support of others, it obtains the motivation of self -improvement and will try to touch the goal to be completed. Essence Therefore, before the end of the talk, you can give good encouragement and expectations, stimulate its motivation and desire, and can also make the talk in the atmosphere of progress. Get promise. "Can you keep the assault posture?" This sentence is actually Zhang Pai Chang's promise consciously guiding Xiao Liu.

Psychological studies have shown that in work and life, there is a phenomenon of commitment consistency: when people promise one thing, your later behavior will be unconsciously carried out in accordance with your commitment. That is to say, everyone wants to believe in themselves. One commitment is a solemn expectation for yourself. An operation guide for your future behavior. If you want a person to change alone, it should start with promise. In other words, if you want him to do it, let him first say that big changes often start from childhood. At the end of the end of the heart, you can consciously guide the target of the talks to make a commitment to your future behavior, thereby promoting the acting object to change in behavior.

Only by mastering the way of talking, can we truly talk about true feelings, live thinking, and combat effectiveness!

Production: Chen Xilin Xu Zhiyong Xu Lili

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Produced: Li Zibo

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