"No one who is not married and married the wrong person, which one is even more terrible?"

See a topic on Zhihu:

"Which one is more terrible without getting married and marrying the wrong person?"

Netizens have left messages and said their own personal experience.

Different from imagination, it seems that it is not as chic in the expected, and those who regret marrying the wrong person and envy those who are outside the city.

In fact, marriage is not so terrible, the key is to meet the right person.

I used to solve the problem alone, now you can face two people together;

The happiness that can only be experienced alone can now be shared with the other half.

For marriage, more and more people are unwilling to be.

The "Chinese Population Census Yearbook 2020" released some time ago has attracted the attention of many people:

In 2020, the average first marriage age of the Chinese rose to 28.67 years.

In 2010, the average first marriage age of the Chinese was 24.89 years.

In 10 years, China's average first marriage age was nearly 4 years old.

Some people say that young people are not only married late, and some are even unwilling to get married.

People can't help asking: "What happened to the young people this year?"

In fact, "I don't decide to get married" among many young people, what I really want to express is "I will not get married easily before I understand."

Those young people who say "wise men do not enter the river" are far more sober and more determined than we think.

Contemporary young people's marriage concept:

Don't get married easily, not to divorce casually

Some people have asked a question on the Internet: Is it irresponsible to young people not getting married?

Below there is a answer directly:

Rather than saying that young people are irresponsible, they want to be too responsible.

There are many young people around me who have their own views on marriage, and they will not easily just get married for marriage.

Compared with the older generation of marriage, they value the households, they value the three views and spiritual resonance.

There was a survey of post -90s before: What do you think is the most important in marriage?

The results of the survey were surprising. The three views far exceeded the appearance, economic conditions, and education level, and ranked first.

The variety show "90 Wedding Institute" is a dating program for young people. It is chaired by Meng Fei, the host of the famous "If You Are the One".

A total of four rooms were set up in the show, namely: past, future, interest and values.

Among them, the most popular is the "value room".

Young people will use the way of chat to confirm whether the other party is the "right person".

For example, they will discuss the question of "who is more important in your heart":

"If your boyfriend said he doesn't like cats, would you give up to raise cats for him?"

There is also a problem about children's birth:

"Do you want a child after marriage? When do you have to give birth?"

The reason why young people are so careful is that they are afraid of walking wrong, delay themselves and each other, and live up to marriage.

If the hasty is entering marriage and those blurred issues before marriage, the bombs that can be separated from marriage after marriage.

Marriage is never a trivial matter, but a thoughtful choice.

Image source: network

Buffett said:

"The most important decision in your life is to marry someone. In choosing a partner, if you are wrong, you will lose a lot of losses. Moreover, the loss is not just money."

What kind of person to choose to get married is equivalent to choosing what kind of lifestyle.

Similarly, marriage also needs to be operated. It requires two people to guard with mature minds, rational minds, and sincere sincerely.

It is a better and fully perception of marriage to be better responsible for yourself and marriage.

Behind the child who is unwilling to get married

Standing parents who don't love each other

If you pay attention to life, you will find:

Divorce seems to be a very common thing, but in fact, compared with the younger generation, people of the previous generation often do not divorce easily.

So someone lamented:

"The people of the previous generation will want to repair everything, but now what it is broken and want to change."

Is the older generation of love more firm and more moving than young people?

Perhaps it is just because the older generation knows "tolerance" when facing the shortcomings.

Writer Bi Shumin said:

"Marriage requires patience, long -term continuous and concentrated patience.

"Patience a willful girl grows into a capable wife, and a young man who is not a solid work becomes a man who is as firm as a rock. He will be able to grow up in crying and wrestling.

"Patient's white hair and burnout, the friction and fission of patience, the patience and the cold."

Many people who come here will say that marriage is a "forbearance" in the end, but this does not mean that marriage needs a bottomless tolerance.

There was a discussion on Weibo: What did you learn from your parents' marriage?

The highest answering of the most likes quotes a line in the movie "Spring Tide":

"I don't want to marry a man like Dad, do not want to be a woman like a mother, and do not want to have children like themselves."

Psychologist Adler believes that the model of children's intimate relationships is largely derived from parents.

If the relationship between the parents is bad, the child will have a resistance to intimacy. If you have no confidence, you can operate a relationship.

A few days ago, I talked about the topic of "reminding marriage" with my friends.

Many people have been urged by their families to be "big", especially friends Xiao Min have passed 30, but they have not been in love so far. Facing the strong marriage of her parents, she said helplessly:

"I have a deep fear of marriage.

"My dad is derailed, and my mother often quarrels with him. They will talk bad things about each other in front of me, and sometimes they will force me to stand in a team to help me scold together.

"But even so, my mother said it was for me to not go to divorce. After graduating from college, they had to urge me to get married.

"The significance of marriage, some people ignored it for a lifetime, but still wanted to let the next generation" repeat the same mistakes ".

"I believe that there is a love in this world, but I don’t believe that I can meet."

Love and love were originally the best thing in the world, but the children who had never seen love had instinctual fear of love.

And those children who grow up in love will know how to love themselves and how to love others.

Picture source: panorama vision

Yang Yan recorded such a thing in "Our Money".

Once she and Qian Yanshu took her daughter to the restaurant for dinner. The daughter saw a pair of parents at the next table quarreling and said with emotion:

"I always think that my parents are lucky, because she has seen good feelings, so she has a keen sense of love for health, and then knows how to run in the right direction.

"So I am particularly grateful to my parents, because you love each other, Qin Se, and Ming, so I think I am a lucky child."

Only parents who love each other can raise children who have the confidence and yearn for love.

Those children who are educated in the atmosphere of their parents will also give back to life with love.

Good companion, healing with each other throughout his life

Some time ago, I read a speech on "Happiness".

The speaker is a professor at Harvard Medical College. They spent 76 years of tracking and studying 724 people. They found that the happy life eventually had a common feature:

That is, good interpersonal relationships make us happier and healthier; those who are most satisfied with their intimate relationships at the age of 50 are the healthiest at the age of 80.

Luo Yonghao mentioned his marriage life in an interview:

"I have a lot of friends who are not very good in middle -aged marriage. They really have no channels at all, so I can only grab my friends to drink. But I know very well that I ca n’t get my friends to solve my loneliness after returning home. Open your eyes.

"I'm different, I have a wife at home.

"As long as I smell her taste, such as the smell on my hair, I almost feel that I am inhaling a therapeutic potion, just like‘ sucking cat ’.”

Life is difficult to break, and marriage is not easy, but good partners can heal each other.

In "The World", Zheng Juan and Zhou Bingkun are so.

When the two first met, it was Zheng Juan's most disappointment.

His fiance died, his mother was old, and there was a blind brother at home, and he was pregnant before he was raped.

When she was the most helpless, Zhou Bingkun reached out and grabbed her and dragged her out of the mud.

Later, Zhou Bingkun set up the matter. Zheng Juan came forward and supported Zhou Bingkun.

Not only do they not leave when they are in trouble, they can also experience the delicate minds of the other party in their daily life.

There is such a detail in the play.

When Zhou Father took a big family to visit his relatives and visit the New Year, his face proudly emphasized that his eldest son and daughter were both Peking University students.

As the youngest son in the family, Zhou Bingkun heard this sentence lonely.

Others did not pay attention. Only Zheng Juan immediately realized that he was not a taste in his heart, holding his hand tightly and giving him silent support.

Picture source: panorama vision

The Justice Anthony Kennedy said:

"Marriage responded to a universal fear: a lonely person shouted loudly, but found no one.

"It gives people a hope of companionship, understanding, and security: there will be someone who cares about you."

This may be the biggest meaning of marriage.

Perhaps many people have experienced incomplete native families, and maybe we often feel isolated.

Although there are not so many surprises in life, with the people who love each other, they can cure all loneliness and sorrows and give each other love and strength.

As Zhou Guoping said:

"Everything will eventually be dim. Only the days when the eyes of love have been placed in gold, it will always shine in the deep valley of the years."

Light "watching", I wish we can all meet the right people, there is a warm home.

Since then, the mountains and rivers are wide, and all the fireworks on the world are all you.

Author: Joe. Source: There is a book (ID: Youshucc), follow the public account of the book, read a good book to enjoy the beauty. There are books to grow with life.

- END -