In the adult world, this is the most important thing in your life

Do you know the story of the dead sheep?

I especially like this fable story.

The main meaning is:

Yang Zi's neighbor's house lost a sheep. The neighbor has led his family members and friends to pursue, and came to ask Yang Zi's child servant to help pursue.

Yang Zi asked, "Hee, throw a sheep. Why do so many people chase?" The neighbor replied, "There are too many forks."

After returning from the sheep, Yang Zi asked his neighbor: "Did you find the sheep?" The neighbor replied: "I didn't catch it, I still let it run away."

Yang Zi asked, "Why do you let it run away?" The neighbor replied: "There is a fork in the fork. We don't know which road it runs from, so we have to come back."

The avenue was dying sheep. Because there were too many forks, the sheep were finally lost because there were too many fork roads to run towards that road. Isn't this like our life?

There are too many choices, too many forks, no clear goals, easy to lose self, and regret in the last life.

This story makes me understand that determining a reasonable goal in the adult world is the most important thing in life.

For me now, a truly meaningful goal must be closely linked to the internal drive, which will make people a sense of victory, autonomy and belonging.

1 The goal requires a sense of competence

A sense of victory refers to people's beliefs that can reach a certain level of behavior or action, and believe that they can be competent. It emphasizes that when interacting with society, it hopes to have effective feedback.

In other words, the goal should be located near the capacity circle, and when the goal is executed, it can get effective feedback.

What is a good goal?

Locke's law tells us: good goals are enough to "jump".

For example, if you play basketball, if you make a basketball rack as high as two floors, then the goal will become very difficult, and the player will lose the desire to challenge.

Conversely, if there is only one ordinary person in the basketball rack, it is easy to score goals, but they can't highlight their own advantages, and there will be few people who play.

Because of the height that can be obtained by the basketball rack, it can make the sports activity of basketball have challenging and conquering desires, and it can become worldwide sports.

In the same way, setting a goal that can be available at a jump is the most attractive, and we will have enthusiasm to pursue and be confident.

Before the end of his life, the famous Russian biologist Bapolov asked him how to succeed. His answer was: "Be enthusiastic and slowly."

He explained that "slowly" has two meanings: doing what he can do; he continues to improve himself in the process of doing things.

It means that people must allow people to enjoy the results of labor, and not be able to lose confidence by failure, and do not let him pick the fruit easily, so that he can get a snack and jump to get it.

The cost of getting a piece of thing is too low, and your psychological level will not cherish it; the goal of formulating can be fully competent, and you will lose the positive significance of conquest.

Therefore, the goal must have the sense of "jumping enough" to be the most reasonable.

Munger said in a speech, "Find out what you are best at, and then persevere, and do it to do it well."

Why do Mange emphasize "good things", because the more you are good at doing, the better you do, the more confident you are. This is a positive feedback that promotes each other.

Let's look at this story.

A group of mouse suffered from the cat's suffering, and they held a plenary meeting to discuss the best strategy of cats.

In the end, a mouse with a giant skid came out: hanging a bell on the cat's neck. As long as the cat moves, there is a sound, and everyone can get the alarm in advance and hide.

This plan was unanimously approved.

Unquestionable is indeed nice.

But we know that the goal is given to the cat, and this goal is something that any mouse cannot do.

Just like the guy who does not want the first and second floors, asking the construction workers to build the third floor directly, it is a bit unknown.

Taking a goal that cannot be achieved as a goal is like a joke with his own life. It is a bit sad.

An effective goal must be challenging and operable.

There is no operating goal like a mirage, and the vision is beautiful, but you can never reach it.

So don't forget to make your goal a sense of victory!

2 Determine the goal must have a sense of autonomy

Autonomy means that people's behavior is spontaneous, and it is completely out of its own free choice. It emphasizes people's feelings about initiative.

The goal must have a sense of autonomy, that is, the goal is what you like to implement.

Because you can only practice deliberately if you like it.

And long -term deliberate exercises can make the goal a reality.

There is a well -known law called "10,000 Hour Laws", which is the law that writer Gradewell pointed out in the book "Alien".

Gradwell said: "The reason why people in the eyes are excellent is not the first -class superman, but to make continuous efforts. The 10,000 -hour refinement is a necessary condition for anyone to change from ordinary to world masters. "

He calls this "10,000 hours law".

If you do one thing every day for 4 hours and work five days a week, then it takes at least 10 years to become an expert in a field.

People who are willing to spend 10,000 hours to do one thing, if it wasn't for the veteran of the fish, it would not be full of autonomy.

Inamori once divided people into three types in the book "Living Law": the first is "combustible type", and the ignition was ignited;

The second is "non -burning type", and the ignition cannot be ignited;

The third is "spontaneous combustion". You can burn without ignition.

The third kind of person who is strong is the third kind of person. They have continuously contributed energy with the piles of firewood "like and love", and the crackling burning.

Even without the applause of the outside world, they can achieve self -fighting blood, so people with strong sense of autonomy can be more "one -hour law", and they are often easier to do one thing.

Jobs said, "Only by your favorite job can you stick to it."

Psychologists have found that the goal of "want to achieve" is easier to achieve than "must be achieved". Compared with hate things, people are more willing to do things they like.

why?

Because doing what you like to do itself is a sense of pleasure, who wants to like it or not?

Netizen Tian Xin said that there is only one time in life. Finding your own love and doing what you really like is the greatest respect for the only life.

is not that right? Do what you like and be with the people you like, but quarrel.

For the goal, you must be rare.

After all, Qianjin is difficult to buy. You like it.

3 The goal must make people feel back

A sense of belonging: It means that people feel that they are related to others. They are a sense of concern to others, and at the same time that they want to be cared for by others.

To put it simply, the sense of belonging is to want to be a person who is concerned and needed.

Psychologists have conducted a lot of research on the sense of belonging. People who lack a sense of belonging will lack passion for their work and have no sense of responsibility; the social circle is narrow and there are not many friends; the amateur life is monotonous and lacks hobbies.

Maslow, a well -known American psychologist, pointed out in the "level of demand level" that the demand for belonging and love is an important psychological needs of people. Only by meeting this needs can people realize themselves.

The development of society now has become a torrent, especially in large cities, and the sense of belonging is generally lacking.

There is no feeling of returning to the rental house; going to the company like an outsider; walking lonely in the lively pedestrian street.

This is a manifestation of a sense of belonging. The goal must have a sense of belonging, that is, tell us not to treat ourselves as an independent individual. People are group animals. People who are out of the group are not a complete person.

As a person, we need the love of parents, the love of the wife/husband, the love of friends, the love of children, and we must also love others.

We need to live in the world that loves others and is loved by others.

Therefore, the setting of the target cannot ignore the sense of belonging, that is, parents, spouses, children, etc. cannot be ignored.

You who ignore your family to chase your family, when you dream back at midnight, you should have some lonely. Why is the happy home that is full of glass residue.

There is a family who knows cold and hot, at least 80%of your happiness, so your goal must contain your family, which is advanced.

Xiao Bernard said that home is the only place in the world that hides the shortcomings and failure of human beings, and it also contains sweet love.

San Mao said, home, the source of joy for everyone! No matter how hard it is, even the slave has a home, and he doesn't think he is too pitiful.

Voltaic said that heaven is his home for Adam; however, for Adam's descendants, home is their paradise.

The principles of belonging should be part of our goal.

4 Internal drive is a good partner of the goal

Daniel Pinke mentioned in "Driving Power" that since the evolution of human beings, there are three main forces that drive us to progress:

The first is the impulse to survive, to solve the problem of food and clothing.

The second is the external motivation, such as the company's award and penalty mechanism, and evaluate our work to give rewards or punishments through performance assessment.

The third is the inner motivation, that is, the desire to make this matter from the heart.

Since the development of society, food and clothing are no longer a problem, and the effect of the mechanism of rewards and penalties has gradually weakened. Instead, the internal motivation is very important. Internal driving force has become the main force of our progress.

The three basic points of internal drives are: sense of autonomy, competence, and belonging.

I hope you can find the inner inner driving force, establish a sense of self -ownership, competence, and belonging.

Everyone grows up!

Author: Qin Qingqing Qingqing, a member of the readers. Qinqi poetry and paintings are all like, and Chai Mi oil and salt are also happy.

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