"What to do! Talk Show Special": Fresh perspective interpret the meaning of marriage and love

At the moment when the concepts such as "Dink", "three children" and "unmarriedism" are constantly being mentioned, we need more voices to tell women: no need to use marriage and love to measure whether they succeed. Even if there are more discussions, the happiness and sadness in women's survival situation do not have to be completely "marriage and love".

■ Ju Xiaoxiao

When the talk show encounters the topic of marriage and love, can they make people "gain" in addition to being funny and funny? Recently, the variety show "What to do! Talk Show Special" presented its own answer with a discussion called "because of love". In the show, whether it is a sociological expert, a divorce lawyer, a staff member of the marriage registration office, or the actress who revives the constant -law after the marriage of the marriage, the male star and the well -known female writer who have been a full -time dad are trying to use The meaning of his own perspective interprets the meaning of marriage to women, families, and everyone.

Some people say that marriage is a choice that contemporary women must face. It is early or late, always going to this suffering. But the guests of different life experiences use the facts to tell us that this is not the other choice of choice, but an analysis of themselves, a pursuit of the meaning of life at a time, and growing out of the cocoon.

Regarding love: The wrong love template does not get the correct answer

"Why can't more and more people find true love?" Shen Yifei, an associate professor of Sociology of Fudan University, believes that the key lies in whether your "love template" is consistent with the love you want.

This inconsistency can be seen from the talk of the talk show actor He Guangzhi.

In the corner of each blind date being highly "materialized", people subconsciously label "there is a house and a car" with the largest font size in the center of A4 paper, and only write "funny humor" in an inconspicuous corner Essence

In reality, people's definitions of love are changeable and complicated, and they unknowingly fall into the dual -standard circle of "both must and be".

For boys, they want the love of the new era, but they are asking girls in the old age. In the perspective of girls, they hope that the other party can be gentle and considerate, always pay attention to their needs, and also hope that the other party's career is successful.

In addition to the imagination of the other half in the future, the response of contemporary young people when love comes.

Professor Shen once launched an online survey: "When you have the favorite object of secret love, what actions will you do?"

Most people's answers are nothing more than "secretly paying attention to each other", "set the opponent's birthday as a boot password", "praise the circle of friends", and almost no one will choose to take the initiative to confess. But when the angle is replaced by the "crush" side, people often warmly look forward to "the other party bravely confess".

The gap between reality and ideals makes people involuntarily fall into the embarrassing situation of "high or low". It is often said that "no longer believe in love". In fact, beautiful love has never been descended from the sky.

About love: love myth and love truth

"There is money and leisure, her husband is missing, it is love myth; no money and no idle, husband is at home, it is love to tell the truth."

This is a joke that actor Ni Hongjie teases his starring movie "Love Myth", but reveals the layer of tulle covered by many married women's hearts.

When many audiences who have not yet entered the marriage are still applauding this film, the married female audience sees more helpless reality. At the moment when "widow -defense marriages" are becoming more and more common, the absence of male responsibilities and characters in marriage has made many women almost unable to find the meaning of marriage.

Taking Ni Hongjie's own experience as an example, after the fire of "Love Myth", an article about her "Divorced, Children, Love in Love" was popular all over the Internet. It was only that this female star who had repeatedly became popular because of advertising and "Wulin Wai Zhuan" in different ages, behind a failed marriage and a child who needed to take care of. But the two apparently did not hinder her on the peak of her career.

Time has moved, her feelings are frustrated, investment failure, and debts brought by her ex -husband, Yu Ni Hongjie can already be placed in a talk show, but for marriage, she hides her sincerity in a joke.

In Ni Hongjie's body, it is not difficult to see that she is really free and easy, and she really comes out of the shadow of failed marriage.

In fact, women do not have to be too careful or desperate to treat marriage. There must be a fault tolerance mechanism and a error correction mechanism for marriage. We often say that good marriage is operated, but it is often rarely mentioned that a failed wrong marriage is also quickly removed like a tumor.

I still look forward to the myth of love, and I can listen to the truth of love. This is the secret of women seeking happiness in marriage.

Regarding fertility: Don't let children become a "burden" for women

If you talk about the "fertility" when talking about the topic of marriage and love, this discussion is obviously incomplete. It is rare that this issue of the talk show is the male star Li Chengyi.

After experiencing the redness of last year, Li Chengyi's past as a full -time dad was also concerned about more people.

Although he mentioned that he almost maintained restraint and calmness when he mentioned his baby's experience, we can still put together a "endangered depression", "bearing huge social pressure", "hard but not understanding" the image of a grandfather.

In the rare marriage and parenting relationship of "strong women and men,", Li Chengyi, as the "inside" side, must not only pass the inside of his heart, but also face the puzzlement and criticism of the public.

The biggest significance of discussing the "influence of fertility on women" is that people will understand more clearly that those facts that make their dad unbearable are the daily epitome of women who lack vocalization channels. Those who let them easily win the "good dad" and "good husband" praise, but it is what countless mothers are doing it all day long. In contrast, the awareness of her husband, family, society, and even women's own understanding of fertility is too lightly described. Cornell University has done a study: After the first child, the income change trend of both husband and wife will be different in the next ten years; s level. This phenomenon is named "fertility cost".

Fertility should never be a unilateral thing for women, and women's invisibility in marriage must not be ignored.

When the famous writer Jiang Shengnan said in sharing, for many years, she has always suggested that "extending men's paid and accompanimental leave." This is not for men to benefit, but to strive to improve the situation of married women in the workplace.

When men and women participate in fertility together, when women's "fertility costs" are seen and perceived by more people, the negative impact of fertility on women will minimize.

Some people say that using "female marriage and love" as a gimmick is a kind of consumption for women. actually not. When a woman's marriage is discussed by a relatively teasing way, we do not deliberately dissolve the seriousness and practical significance of this issue, but to express their attention to women through different channels, different views, and different voices.

At the moment when the concepts such as "Dink", "three children" and "unmarriedism" are constantly being mentioned, we need more voices to tell women: no need to use marriage and love to measure whether they succeed. Even if there are more discussions, the happiness and sadness in women's survival situation do not have to be completely "marriage and love".

This kind of dialogue is a process of "letting women be seen", and it is also the process of calling more women to "observe themselves".

And this is the original intention of the production of "What to do! Talk Show Special", allowing the talk show to enter all walks of life, so that this emerging industry that is popular with young people has gradually been recognized by mainstream social values, and this responsibility on the shoulders And hard work.

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