If the three views are not, you can know the three questions.

Today, a divorce civil judgment caused a lot of controversy.

A civil judgment published by the Chinese referee document network shows that Ms. Li, who lives in Shenyang, has different personality and unsuitable for two years ago. A few years ago, they had different or lived. "For the reason, he prosecuted divorce with Mr. Shi.

Mr. Shi disagreed, thinking that the relationship between the two parties did not break, and could meet Ms. Li's requirements. Although he had moved out of his common home, they were "forced to live."

In the end, the court rejected Ms. Li's divorce request. It was determined that both parties should cherish the relationship between husband and wife, put family responsibilities first, tolerate each other, understand each other, and work together to maintain the harmony and stability of the family.

Is there no derailment and no domestic violence. Is "different personality and unsuccessful three views"? Is it a sufficient reason for divorce? How to judge whether two people are "occasionally different" or a real "three views"?

Some netizens said that one of the best proofs of "three views" is the best proof of "three views".

There are no two people in the world, and each of the three views of each person are constantly changing, but before a responsible marriage starts, at least they must understand each other and have common expectations for the future.

John Gotman, known as "Marriage Pope", is the most famous work is "Five Languages ​​of Love". He proposed in another book "Eight Dating of Love", as a partner who spent the rest of his life, two Eight themes that individuals must discuss together, including: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, entertainment, growth, dreams.

Couples or couples who have not talked about these 8 themes cannot be called a understanding of the other party, let alone the other party's three views.

John Geterman | Beijing Daily Press

Talk about each definition of "family"

The most direct goal of marriage is to build your own family, but what is "your own family"? For different people, the meaning of the family is not the same, and this is also the core of many marriage issues.

There was a couple who asked for help in the variety show "Love Defense". When they first got married, their wife had money in the family. Later, her husband gave her mother -in -law to her mother.

The husband feels that his wife likes to spend money, but the mother will really think about herself, and she will also control his wallet for him.

In this case, the hostess at home seemed to change, and the quarrels kept out of the outbreak. In the end, the wife took the child back to her mother's house.

"Marrying a daughter" and "Marrying a daughter -in -law" have always been two emotions. The woman leaves her native family and enters another strange family. Most of the men are still in their familiar native families, but they have one more person.

So what exactly is the family of marriage?

Is there only you and your partner, or the family of each other? What is the role of each other's family in their marriage?

Do you want to want a child in the future, or how many children? What does your ideal family look like?

With a common vision, there will be a common direction.

Talk about the story behind "Money"

Regardless of whether your deposit is sufficient or stretched, money is one of the most important reasons for the conflict of husband and wife, which is almost the "third party" in intimate relationships.

For most husbands and wives, the conflict of money can basically be divided into three obvious types: inconsistent views on income gaps, inconsistent understanding of financial conditions, and different definitions of disputes themselves.

Husbands and wives are always easily labeling the other party's "spending money" or "saving money". Spending money thinks that you can use money to live a happy life, and spend money to live comfortably, decent, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy. And bring happiness to the whole family.

The money for money considers itself to be pragmatic and wise. In their opinion, money represents achievements, security, success, and power, and saving money to avoid future worry.

In fact, at different stages, we will change between the status of the money and the money. It is difficult to help us find out what money means for our partner.

Whether two people are couples or couples, the conflict caused by money is not about numbers, but the meaning of money.

The book talks about a couple, and the husband is accustomed to planning ahead, and must save at least 6 months of rent and daily hydropower in the future to be at ease. The wife thinks that life is short, and the extra money must be used to relax.

Occasionally, the husband got a legacy, and he wanted to save all; his wife wanted to travel with this money, and they had always dreamed of going to Southeast Asia.

However, when they start to understand how money is for each other, the conflict is resolved.

It turned out that the wife's father died at the age of 35. She remembered that her father always said, "Someday we travel", "Where to play you in the summer vacation" ...

Unfortunately, the father was gone without waiting for the realization.

The husband's parents never saved money. His father had to pass it. After the middle -aged unemployment, the family had nothing to rely on. Helpless, he started to work with zero workers and supplements his family since he was 16.

The native family has shaped their concepts and models of different money. If you understand this, they can stand on the other's position and learn how to find a mode of processing each other.

"Why did he make big hands?" "Why did he be extremely excited?"

Understanding the experience behind different money concepts means that the two people really start exchanging each other's experience and values. To understand each other's view of money and money, it will never be too early or late.

Talk about their "dreams"

For many people, the family is a supreme dream. After entering the marriage, his dreams have retreated to unnecessary positions.

Work is no longer for dreams and self -worth, but to support their families.

But everyone has a personal dream of themselves, and can share each other's dreams. Whether it is profession or life, the relationship will be full of passion and vitality.

Dreaming is your dream of desire. If you do n’t share this desire, you do n’t even let your partner know this desire, conflict and contradictions will inevitably occur.

What is the deepest dream in your heart? Why do you have this dream? What does this dream mean for you? When you implement it, what will you feel? How can we help the other party realize their dreams? How do we realize our dreams together?

There is a story behind every dream. Maybe this story sounds far away and even ridiculous, but you are willing to listen and imagine each other to realize spiritual connection.

Godman said in the book: The success or failure of a marriage is as uncertain as throwing coins.

The divorce rate of Portugal is as high as 70%, the divorce rate of the United States is 50%, and the divorce rate for the second marriage is 65%...

They were lost in the "game" of marriage, and they chose to give up halfway.

Marriage is the most important adventure in people's life. It is worth spending time to understand each other. After entering the marriage, we have the courage to share our inner world, and never stop exploring each other's world, understand and accept each other.

Author | Covenant, write a good story of others, and live a good life.

Picture | Visual China, the Internet (if there is any infringement, please contact delete)

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