[High -end original poetry platform] 2022 Father's Day Poetry Conference Better Evaluation

In front

One of the poems, there is no way to learn, and there is no way to learn. Scholars, the stones of other mountains can attack jade; The ancients of the ancients were "like a discussion, such as thinking like a grind", so that the gentleman's demeanor is even more extended to be a good learning spirit. Today Yunfan's setting up this column is a place for our exchanges, a place for identification, and a platform for progress.

Yunfan Reading Weitang

In this issue, Yunfan Poetry Jian · The time of the time for the submission of critics

Daughter Chronicle (First)

Riverside

The little hand went out and went out, and he turned to sorrow.

The poor little girl is old, and has been solved.

[Hengdaozi Comments] Small hands in a small hand, weeping, and being used to it; "The poor little girl is old, and she has been solved by the world." But she has never been known, and has a different sense of vicissitudes and the taste of the world. Seeing people's unprecedented people from common, seeing poetry, seeing skills, can be chanted and transmitted.

Father's shoulder

Qian Zhizhong

How many memories are, the childhood is the best.

Riding on his father's shoulder, height compared to his father.

[Hengdaozi Comments] A classic parent -child movement, write a "Amoy" word, and implement a word "fun". Write fun, smooth and durable.

Father comes to the city to live

Zhu Xianhua

I think I live in a high -rise building, and the community is often fascinated by the narrow road.

The balcony was a flower farming place, and the seedlings were planted.

[Hengdaozi Comments] "Halo Elevator", "Lu Chang Fan", and "Balcony Seed Melon", is the photo of the father who came to the city. Three details, see "discovery power"; write calmly, see "expressive power". Reading is like immersive, as seeing them. "This is", "partial", especially personality.

Wake up in Dreams of Father's Day

Wang Congying

One thought is quiet and the sun, the year of the year is separated by yin and yang.

In the middle of the night, there is a reunion moon, which is willing to take care of people.

[Wang Hai Liang Comments] The ruthlessness of the fake and bright moon sets off the affection of people.

The funeral of the father's father, sadness

Mind

The rain beating the tung flower is not to the old branches, and the sorrow is sorrowful.

Broken souls and me, how much spring breeze and tears.

[Wang Hai Liang Comments] Touching his heart is only for a moment. How much spring breeze and tears, the words "spring breeze", contain infinite past warm memory.

Welcoming the new

Liu Nengying

Feiyan wore a willow obliquely and poured into the pool.

The spring breeze blows the four wild, and the father is ignorant.

[Wang Hai Liang Comments] Music Jing feels sorrowful, and it becomes more painful.

In the early summer of Bingchen, Zeng Shi, a former father, traveled to Wuquan Mountain, 37 years after he came

Star man

Over Wuquan Road, the old trace is still available.

The mountain breeze was still spilled, and the waterfall groaned.

There is no day to report to the country, and the family is poor to the present.

Ascending the hillskin, the western region was in chaos.

[Wang Hai Liang's comment] "There is no day to report the country, and the family is poor to the present." Lu You's poems: "The family sacrifice has no forgetful to report Nai Weng", the old place re -swims, and the past is in the depths of the clouds.

Dreaming of father

Kang Eternal

At midnight dreams, the sycamore flowers in front of my home door were in full bloom, and Chaimen was still. In front of the church, I saw my father here and was soaked in the tea. I woke up and couldn't help but lose.

The green blue sycamore lighter purple flowers, Chai Yan courtyard is my family.

The year of 尘 尘 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌 卌.

[Wang Hai Liang's comment] The dream is not good, but the heart is true. The first two sentences are dreamy and blurred. The conclusion is slightly laborious.

Night rain

Zhang Jianjun

Xiaoxiao night rain was more injured, and the world was unusually dreaming.

I did not talk about my father's first tears, and my son was also a white -headed person.

[Wang Hai Liang Comments] The father -in -law looked at it and was saddened. Today's poems were written. This poem should meet in the dream.

Mourning father

Building sword

The deep courtyard fell on the short wall, and Zengzhi Village's business was secure.

Limited career Ping is in water, impermanence and rainy summer.

The flute is asleep, and the melon beans are not closed.

Who did the father and son did because of the fate, and the dream was scattered for a while.

[Wang Hai Liang Comments] Moving is in an ordinary place. There is no word romance, and the emotions are full of connotation. study.

The old father comes to Beijing to give my women's red envelope self -service deposit machine that does not recognize

Ding Navy

The province can be worn hard, and the pillow is stored in the pillow.

Xu is too hard -earned, and the machine can't distinguish the true face.

[Lei Haiji Comments] Poetry borrows a specific and interesting event, showing the difference between the science and technology of modern society into life, expressing his father's deep love for his daughter. The typical of the incident enhances the fun of poetry and renders the strength of emotions. The poet should have a more unique and profound vision than ordinary people.

Father's Day Recalling Father

You Junru

Jiu Dong has never returned, and the youth youth is re -annual.

The crying father couldn't help but pay tribute, and the thoughts were helpless.

During his lifetime, he was seventy years in the party, so he said 30,000 people.

Several dreams seemed to see it, and Zhao Miao estimated that it was divided.

[Lei Haiji Comments] Poetry revolves around a word "Yi", which is smooth and compact. "In the seventy years of the party," "30,000 words with others" is a freehand. "Check the seedlings estimated to be divided into fields." It is a writing detail. The two methods have their own beauty, which complement each other and complement each other.

Pray

Fang Shulan

The father was infected with the disease, and he drove a hundred miles to visit Hua Yan.

Xinglin can have ganoderma grass, helping me with kindness.

[Lei Haiji Comments] Write a common little thing, see big and big. Only Xiao is easy to write, and it is compact. With a degree, emotions come true and natural.

Father

Fang Yuquan

one

The father -in -law is like a sand dune, in the vast Gobi.

Occasionally a little green, just to call the spring breeze.

two

Lin Jianzhi remembered that year, and jumped into the sky.

Mao Tao is familiar today, but it is difficult to sit in his father's shoulders.

[Lei Haiji Comments] In the previous song, the last song is compared, and the last song writes a trivial matter, which has a sense of painting. Both of the lower parts are wonderful. Because of the good Xialian, the poems are easy to write.

My dad

Deng Jianxiu

Who knows the father's father for more than eighty, and his fangs are clear.

Fushu is still in the breeze.

[Lei Haiji Comments] The upper and lower two couplets are in sharp and strong contrast. The love of his father and his father, his daughter's pride flowing in the poem. The language is easy, the poetic fluctuations, and the tension is self -explanatory.

Mid -Autumn Festival to send father

Zhu Siyi

The wind and whistle was cold at night, and the Yueyong Qinghui looked at them.

Send the Mid -Autumn Festival the most glory, and the text message newspaper is safe.

[Lei Haiji Comments] Express the love of father and son through a small story. The Mid -Autumn Festival sent a text message to the father. The Mid -Autumn Festival is the night of reunion. The poem is selected at this time to facilitate the facilitation of affection. The son who was far away from the border post, so he reported peace to his father because his father must be concerned about his son. The reason why his son was SMS in time was that his son also missed his father. A small story, a small plot, expressing the great father and son's love for each other. Such a story with a story is short and refined, easy to read and resistant.

Suddenly I saw my father's old bicycle

Li Jinghui

The spots rusted to the south wall, and a glimpse of the heart was broken.

Happy childhood to the back seat, like light light lighting.

[Lei Haiji Comments] "Happy Children's Back seat", the scene of the year left unlimited imagination. The poem that can give readers should be a good poem.

Father (2)

Fang Yuquan

Lin Jianzhi remembered that year, and jumped into the sky.

Mao Tao is familiar today, but it is difficult to sit in his father's shoulders.

[Jiang Lan's comment] The idea is very simple, the feelings are true, and it is moving.

Father's crutch

Ye Mengxia

Go to the shadow, and the time is over the gap.

That Lingshou stick, it's my turn to help.

[Jiang Lan Comments] Ancient Greek scientist Abuyamid said: "Give me a fulcrum, I can pry up the entire earth." In fact, the same is true for writing poems. As long as you find an ideal fulcrum, poetry can get appropriate and perfect A reflection. As for the part that the unreasonable part is made by the readers, the five must be wonderful, profound and endless.

Geng Continue (Xin Yun))

Old pot

Gray octagonal hat with short guns around the waist.

My family stayed in a good photo and encouraged me to keep the border.

[Jiang Lan Comments] The two generations of father and son, a spirit, is maintained and inherited because of a photo. Endless opinions are outside the words.

Father comes to the city to live

Zhu Xianhua

I think I live in a high -rise building, and the community is often fascinated by the narrow road.

The balcony was a flower farming place, and the seedlings were planted.

[Jiang Lan's comment] The rustic language is suitable for the rustic peasant father, especially the three or four sentences, especially the words, and write the unchanged nature of farmers.

After receiving a call from his father after the epidemic (Xin Yun)

Liu Luning

Shencheng will be unblocked in June, and you can come to see your parents tomorrow.

There are only two fruits and fruits, tomatoes and cucumbers.

[Jiang Lan's comment] All the father's tone, even more modified, the joy of unblocking.

The 20th anniversary of the death of the father returned to the hometown to show the tomb

Yang Xinyue

Who discusses the world in the next year, drizzle with drizzle.

The eyes are full of buds and buds, and the sadness is still warm.

The village was looking for traces, so he asked his children and grandchildren diligently.

The wind of the wind for a long time is also white, and he can return and dusk.

[Jiang Lan Comments] Deep emotions and stable rhythm.

Topic My Father's Day

Song Shanling

Whenever this section cares about, she gives clothes to girls to send shoes.

There was a meal in Jugu Building, and I still arranged for buying.

[Jiang Lan Comments] Happiness and funny, this one is willing to buy, life, life, the joy of the elderly is just the case.

My dad

Deng Jianxiu

Who knows the father's father for more than eighty, and his fangs are clear.

Fushu is still in the breeze.

[Lang Xiaomei Comments] There seems to be a hermit style. The age of age, appearance, state of life, and interesting are all between four sentences. However, the word "old father" is burden, and the word "still" is not appropriate, but the author is requested to put it a little bit.

Father's crutch

Ye Mengxia

Go to the shadow, and the time is over the gap.

That Lingshou stick, it's my turn to help.

[Lang Xiaomei Comments] The title "Cutrist" is redundant. The first two sentences often have no sense. The last two sentences turned sharply, and the movie was Montec, which was pulled from Yuan's father's shadow to close -up cane, and pushed away from the closer of the cane. The figure had been replaced with me. The conversion is surprising. Two people, two generations, extended to a deeper human emotions from the emotions of my father's emotions, and they were used to borrow eternal people. There are often people in Sri Lanka, and people who can catch poetry are not often, so it is valuable.

Father's second anniversary festival day

Liu Ying

It's easy to leave at home, and it is difficult to burn paper in the circle.

There is no way to sacrifice the father first, and the two eyes are sour.

[Lang Xiaomei Comments] Easy, love, common, Siqi, is the usual style of Teacher Liu. This poem is cut and true, and it seems that the three words should not be said. But the third sentence is discomfort, maybe the dialect grammar? I thought "there was no way to sacrifice the father". It seems that when the superior is not exposed, I can wait a little bit of self -reliance.

Introduction to Lei Haiji

Lei Haiji, pen name Zhuangxi Shui, a sage in Jiangxi, a military poet, a poem critic. Former political committee member and rank of the University of the Liberation Army, the rank of the University, and poetry articles have been selected as the National Chinese Poetry Seminar, the Chinese Army Travel Poetry Seminar, and the Chinese Poetry Forum on both sides of the Taiwan Strait. Compiled and published "Poetry Quick Getting Started Guidance", "Quotations of Poetry of Masterpieces in Ancient and Modern Masterpieces", "Selection of Lei Haiji Poetry Poems"). Introduction to Hengdaozi

Hengdao, his real name is Gao Yongzhi, Liaoning Changwu. He is the author of the poem collection "near life" and won the 4th Liaoning Literature Award.

Brief Introduction to Jiang Lan

Jiang Lan, male, born in 1968, from Xinyang, Henan. He graduated from the Chinese Department of Renmin University of China and worked at the National Federation of Trade Unions Teaching and Sports Trade Unions. He is currently the deputy director of the editorial department of "Poetry", deputy editor -in -chief of "China Ci Fu", and a consultant of Yunfan Poetry. He is the author of the selection of old style poems "Drinking River Collection" and "Xiang Ying Collection -Six Poetry Selection".

Introduction to Lang Xiaomei

Lang Xiaomei, female, a native of Fengcheng, Liaoning, a master's degree in literature, a lecturer at the Chinese Language and Literature Department of Liaodong College Teachers College, deputy director of the Chinese Poetry Society Review Committee, senior training class of the Education Training Center of the Chinese Poetry Society, and the poetry of the Yunfan Poetry Association. He is the author of "The Poetry of the Old Body".

Introduction to Wang Hailiang

Wang Hailiang, born in 1974, from Hebei. Members of Shi Shi Shi Shi, Fenglong Poetry Society, and a half -acre Tang Poetry Society. The works are found in "Poetry", "Chinese Poetry", "Chinese Ci Fu", "Contemporary Poems" and so on.

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