"The most advanced self -discipline of adults is to see through the break."

Read Reading Jun Tongxia Dictionary has been launched 1975/2000 words

Today is the 3260th day that I am intensive to accompany you for life -long growth

"Zeng Guangxianwen" has a cloud: "When you go to your mouth to leave half of the sentence, you can make three points in the end;

If you are dressed well with the basic respect for people, then the attention of words is a deep care and respect for people.

Many times, we are always straightforward, and we do n’t care about what happened. The picture is fast for a while, but we have never thought of the consequences of expressing.

In life, manage your mouth and keep your heart.

Laughing without words, knowing without words, consciousness without breaking, is the most basic respect for people, a kind of self -cultivation, a wisdom.

01

Laughing without saying a word is a kind of respect

A friend has told such a story:

On one occasion, she and the leader went to entertain, met a coal boss, looked rude, and one or two rough mouths broke out from time to time during the conversation, making people look like a rough person without culture.

Although there was a little money, everyone despised him in mind, and he deliberately used German to evaluate him in German he would not hear during the meeting: "No cultural upstart."

However, when she carried a handbox for the unwavering coal boss, she accidentally lifted the box and took off a book inside -it turned out to be German and added a German label.

At that time, she was surprised. Where did the coal boss who had no culture got a German document from?

It was tapped by the side and found that the so -called rough person who had no culture actually had a doctorate degree, at least proficient in four foreign languages.

Everyone thinks that the coal boss is an out -of -the -art founder, so he always commented on his vulgarity in his back, and even said that he was no different from the coal -digging workers, but he never performed dissatisfaction.

Later, she knew that in fact, the evaluation and stereotyped impression, the coal boss always knew that he hadn't dismantled everyone and passed by.

In fact, in terms of life, there is no luck to speak. Sometimes those who are labeled by you have the momentum you can't imagine.

But in front of us, they left us with enough decentness, just laughed and said nothing.

Laughing without saying is not cowardly, but they know how to be silent, even if they have a talent, they don't need to show off all the time.

Laughing without words is tolerant of others' rudeness, but also relieved his shortcomings.

Because people know that no one is perfect, as long as they are still progressing.

02

Knowing it is a kind of cultivation

American psychologist Marshall said: "Maybe we don't think our way of conversation is violent, but the language often causes the pain of ourselves and others."

I have seen such a story.

One classmate, when studying in universities, the family conditions are not good. The tuition fees are supported by scholarships and loving people.

After graduating, in order to take care of their parents and choose to work at the unit near home, the monthly salary is relatively low, and life is accustomed to frugality.

Once, a group of college students who hadn't seen each other had dinner together for several years.

Achi found that his clothes were often worn in college, so he said to him, "I remember when you were in college, I often wore this dress. Do you deliberately cry, so I wore it today?"

Achi Achi made the original lively atmosphere instantly embarrassed, and hurt the face of the classmate.

Sometimes, it is an unintentional word, but it hurts the self -esteem of others.

It is not a kind of self -practice, and its power is better than thousands of words.

Writer Gan Bei once shared such a story.

During high school, a female classmate's father was a security guard in the bank.

Due to the sensitivity and inferiority of adolescence, every time the female classmate was asked about her father's career, she always lie: "Dad is a staff member of the bank counter."

In fact, everyone knew it, but no one was dismantling.

On one occasion, several students went to eat hot and spicy, and her father came to face a security service.

The female classmate was ashamed for a moment, and her face was embarrassed in place.

At that moment, a girl suddenly said, "I want to go to the supermarket, right?"

Without waiting for her to respond, she took her and walked in another direction.

Gan Bei wrote in the text: "That's it, everyone tacitly protects the girl's fragile self -esteem for three years."

After many years, the girl had already gathered in the inferiority of adolescence. She talked about her father's career in a generous manner, and she was grateful that everyone did not dismantle her that year.

Some lies are just to keep their fragile self -esteem.

As in a sentence: "Everything is learned by things, and human feelings are the articles."

It is an instinct to disassemble when you see it, but you can know how to know it.

03

Consciousness is not broken, it is a kind of wisdom

Smart people, knowing what needs to be clever and not needed.

Many times, cleverness is wrong.

Yang Xiu in the Three Kingdoms was a vivid example.

Yang Xiu is very clever, but he likes to make the best.

On one occasion, Cao Cao passed by Cai Wenji's house. The Cai family had a "Cao Ebe Stele". There were eight words on the monument: the yellow silk young woman's grandson. What did these eight words mean? Cao Cao didn't come up with a moment, and asked the masters to say that he couldn't guess.

However, Yang Xiu came out and answered easily, "Someone has explained it."

Cao Cao was surprised that he was smart. He did not expect that this young man was smarter than himself. But Yang Xiu didn't think about it. At this time, what would Cao Cao feel?

Yang Xiu's self -made cleverness, not understanding the hiding and "chicken ribs" incident, laid a foreshadowing for him.

Cao Cao and Liu Bei competed for Hanzhong, and repeatedly defeated. Just as the war fell into a state of stalemate, just coincided with a bowl of chicken soup with the chef. Cao Cao saw that there was a chicken rib in the bowl, and he took the "chicken ribs" as the password that night.

When Yang Xiu saw the word "chicken ribs", he made his own cleverly based on "the chicken ribs, tasteless, and unfortunately abandoned."

Immediately, Yang Xiu ordered the soldiers to clean up the men's immediately and prepare for the withdrawal of the troops.

Unexpectedly, Cao Cao visited Yingzhai at night, and saw that the soldiers in the village had already prepared for retreat and were surprised.

After asking, it was learned that Yang Xiu was guessing his own thoughts and put into action. Cao Cao was furious: "How dare you talk nonsense and disturb our army!"

Subsequently, he ordered the ax under the tent to make Yang Xiu on the Fa -rectification on the spot and ordered its first level to be outside the gate.

Yang Xiu looked very smart everywhere, showing his talents.

Cao Cao was suspicious of nature, and he repeatedly guessed Cao Cao's heart, and also said in public that he had already buried the hidden danger for Cao Cao who had killed him. He didn't know himself.

There is no need to say anything about it. It is embarrassing to say that everyone is embarrassing. It has not got the results they want, but also offended people. It is not a way that smart people should have.

As the so -called "misfortune comes out of the mouth", people who are straightforward and fast must pay for their lack of sense.

Yang Xin, the confidant of Song Taizu Zhao Kuangyin during the Northern Song Dynasty, was a good hand.

After Zhao Kuangyin staged the "cup of wine to release the military power" during his administration, everyone who was at the high position was panicked.

After Yuhou in front of the temple, after changing the number of people, Yang Xin finally served as Yang Xin.

Shortly after Yang Xin took office, he "suddenly dumb, unable to speak", could only express the "dumb mystery" expression, and then "translated" his dumb words by the personal child, so that he did not affect his work at all.

Not only did Zhao Kuangyin not withdrawn his position because of Yang Xin's "dumb", he won his double trust.

But unexpectedly, before the end of his life, Yang Xin gave the emperor for his encounter.

It turned out that Yang Xin had always been dumb. Because of the lesson of the car, he was afraid of step -by -time, so he was silently doing himself and not to say a word.

Yang Xin knows the truth of the disaster, knowing how to silence, so that he can make him less wrong, leaving less handles, and not let the thoughts disturb your mind.

He was smart, but he didn't play smart, and finally ended good.

The ancients said: "In the case of wise men, the fools are thinking about it."

Really intelligent people are often calm and be cautious. This is respect for others and the protection of themselves.

To be a life, learning to see through is not to say that it is a kind of insight and a great wisdom.

There is an old saying in China: I won't talk about it, it's better to face.

In daily life, it is easy to speak, but it is not easy to know how to keep silent.

Even if it is a simple matter, when talking about the shortcomings of others, you need to avoid it cleverly, and don't deepen each other's pain.

Laughing and not speaking is the most basic respect; knowing but not talking is the cultivation of human feelings; it is the wisdom of the world clearly.

In a complicated social communication environment, you know how to see through or not, and you can go well if you look at it!

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