"I'm afraid of being loved by you like this"

There is such a conversation in the TV series "Welcome":

The girl asked the boy: "Why do you want to make money so recently?"

The boy blurted out: "I want to make money to support you."

The girl immediately refuted: "You are not to raise me, you are for your own face."

The heroine here can be said to be the soberness and bravery of textbook levels.

At a glance, she knew the "showing good" of the fans after decorating.

As the heroine then said, "If you want to make money, you can eat and drink well, and you want Guangzong to Yaozu, but let's not say it for me."

The male lead's efforts are not for others, but to make themselves not inferior.

This "good" is also very common in real life -the banner of "working hard for you" is actually to satisfy yourself.

The sentence "What am I for you" seems to be a little touching at first glance, but it is wrong to think about it.

Because it completely put aside personal desire and intention, impose its sacrifice on others, so that the other person is also a kind of PUA.

Just like when a couple quarreled and broke up, one party often said, "I gave up with you ...".

It is particularly deliberate to emphasize what sacrifices you have made for each other.

The establishment of a good relationship, not who gave up better choices for whom, but we chose each other better.

A good partner must not make people feel guilty, suspect that they are not worthy of this relationship, but will make people more convinced:

"You are fine, I am also worth it."

Speaking of "self -motivated dedication", in addition to love, it is also common in family relations.

It is not to say that parents' love for their children is not interested, but to hang the expression of "we are all for you" to the mouth, which will make this love look particularly heavy.

In the impression, when I was in elementary school, I realized such love.

During that time, my dad suddenly unemployed, but fortunately, he still had a little woodworking skills to earn some tables and chairs to make some tables and chairs at home.

At that time, I learned to observe the words. As long as I saw my mother's frown, I would definitely not mention the word "buy".

Once I got home from school, I didn't see my dad, and I asked casually: "Why haven't my dad come back yet?"

As a result, my mother who was cooking suddenly turned around and said with a three -point anger: "It's not to make money to study for you, and see if you don't work hard."

Suddenly I felt particularly guilty, watching the red fork on the test paper, and fell into a deep self -blame.

Even when I was eating, my mother gave me a piece of meat, and I felt that I didn't have to eat it.

The mentality of this habitual self -blame has continued into my later life attitude--

I often make me feel that I am not good enough, so that I ca n’t match what others are doing well.

Or, in a good heart, a kind of inexplicable guilt often emerged.

Thinking of a summer internship in college, I got the first salary in my life, and I was excited to take my parents to a slightly grade restaurant that day.

After entering the seat, I pushed the menu to my parents. They looked at the price of the price and refused to order, and finally said:

"Let's eat casually, mainly because you eat."

They regarded me as the focus of their lives as always, which often stressed.

After listening to their words, the familiar guilt came into my heart again, making me simply want to start shaking with their good intentions.

I thought that the per capita here is really high, and it is not easy to make money. Is it too luxurious whether consumption is?

But I thought of this inexplicable guilt.

Because in the past in some good friends and books, I got the power of confrontation with this "harmful inertia".

They made me realize that the original intention of love was to feel soft and relaxed, not stress and burden.

"So if a love makes you feel uncomfortable, it must not be your problem."

Thinking of this, I took the menu and ordered the meal of three people according to their taste.

Said: "Everyone ordered, no one can be casually packed and took back." My parents did not resist that.

After the dishes were all on, everyone let go of it, and it was a complete day.

These experiences and experiences not only teach me to distinguish love, but also remind me that when expressing love, you must also pay attention to the way.

When we want to be good to a person, we also want her to get the same response.

The correct approach is not to emphasize her sacrifice and make her feel owed, but to be sincere and attractive.

Thinking of a few days ago I read a Wyn article, there is a saying that it is said,

"Filial piety is not from you to be educated, but you think of a moment when your parents love you."

I think the love that makes people want to respond is probably the same.

When we want to respond to a love, not because "the other party is doing these for me" is caused by the guilt,

But "I feel the sincere love of the other person even if he doesn't say anything."

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