The sober of adults: half of it is understood, half is calculated

Life always goes forward,

Can't always look back.

Author: Lodge Yebo

American psychologist Kias said: "90%of our lives are caused by unwillingness."

The more you refuse to let go, the more you lose you, the more you lose your own pain cage.

There will be regrets no matter how you solve your life.

Many times, we choose to be silent and choose not to say, not because it doesn't matter, don't care.

It is because we gradually understand that if we have to fight for everything, we are actually not going to live with ourselves.

Adults' greatest soberness: half of it is understood, half.

1

Understand the difference between the three views, even if the debate

The Song people Su Shunju once talked about such a fable.

There is a swallow and a bat in the forest.

In the eyes of swallows, sunrise represents morning, and sunset means evening.

Bat didn't take it for granted. It thought that the beautiful day after the sun had just begun.

They don't give up each other, they always think that each other is wrong.

Once, they were arguing about this, and they were about to fight.

At this time, the passing owl said a word: "You two live in the daytime, one living in the evening, and the world you have seen is completely different. How can you get the same view?"

There is a famous saying in Goethe:

"On a tree, it is difficult to find two same leaves; among one thousand people, it is difficult to find people with exactly the same thoughts and emotions."

Everyone stands differently, and the ideas are naturally different.

If you just argue, try to force others, just waste your tongue.

In 2006, Gu Bin, a German sinologist, published an article, which bluntly stated that contemporary Chinese literature was crude and the level was inferior.

After listening to the Professor of Peking University, Chen Xiaoming immediately wrote a refutation, listing the achievements of Chinese literature in recent years.

However, Gu Bin was unmoved and determined that the Chinese literary world was a pool of dead water.

In this way, the two argued, and they were tattooed in public, but no one persuaded anyone.

When Chen Xiaoming was about to continue the theory with Gu Bin, the director Chen Pingyuan held him and said:

"Gu Bin's literary taste and evaluation criteria are all West. Do you fight and go? Isn't it a chicken and a duck?"

After listening to this, Chen Xiaoming realized that under the influence of Western literature, Gu Bin could not understand Chinese literature at all.

Even if you say more, it is futile.

As a result, he no longer responded to Gu Bin and devoted himself to his own research.

Later, he became the director of the Chinese Department of Peking University.

"Three Refining Life" said: "Wisdom and mature people will clearly know that everyone has their own world, so they will not argue with others."

In this world, everyone is immersed in their inherent concepts, and it is difficult to be broken and reversed by others.

Different three views, don't force each other's recognition anymore.

If you fight for it, you will not only compete for a reason, but also make meaningless consumption of yourself.

2

Understand the repeated human feelings, even if you are obsessed

Bai Juyi said: "It is difficult to walk, not in the water, not in the mountains, but only in the recurrence of human feelings."

People are always fickle. If they are too deep to people, they often cause themselves to suffer.

I have seen the story of the Republic of China writer Su Qing.

Su Qing is outstanding and beautiful. During her college, she was married with her fiance Li Qin.

At the beginning, Li Qin cared for her, and her marriage life was very sweet.

But with the birth of the child, the relationship between the two gradually cracks.

Su Qing gave birth to a daughter first, which made her mother -in -law who had always been male and female, and often showed her face.

Instead of not protecting her, her husband Li Qin also followed cold words.

In the next few years, she gave birth to three daughters one after another, and the Li family became more rude to her.

At this time, Li Qin also often spent the sky outside, hooking three and four.

But every time he returned home, Su Qing still pleaded with him and took care of his food, food, housing.

I thought such a move could make her husband change his mind, but he did not expect that it was more humiliated.

On one occasion, Su Qing asked her husband to buy rice, and Li Qin slapped her face with a slap and said:

"You are also intellectuals, you can make money yourself!"

Hearing such a cold words, Su Qing finally died and ended the marriage.

After leaving the Li family, she felt like a rebirth, so she regained the writing.

In the end, he created the novel "Ten Years of Marriage", which caused a sensation in the literary world and became the hottest writing everyone in Shanghai.

"Nothing to let go of life" said: "When people are the most powerful, they are not when they persist, but when they are let go."

It is precisely because Su Qing let go of his husband's obsession that he has gained a new self.

The world of adults has gone through the vicissitudes of the world to understand how complicated human nature is and how delicate people are.

For those who repeatedly impermanence in life, holding it, the more and more tired.

The so -called: let go of the thought, the world is wide.

Put down the obsession and cut off the extra branches and leaves in the heart to plant coolness and harvest the inner comfort and comfort.

3

Understand the transit, even if it is entangled

Mo Yan once told a story in his speech.

When he was young, because of his poor family, he often followed his mother to pick up wheat ears.

Once, the people who guarded the wheat fields came, and everyone fled, leaving only his mother's mother was caught.

As a result, not only was the ears of the wheat, but the mother was slapped fiercely, and the blood was straight. This scene has been engraved in Mo Yan's mind.

Many years later, he and his mother visited the market and suddenly met the guardian of the year. The man had gray hair.

In subconscious, Mo Yan wanted to rush up, but his mother pulled him and said softly:

"Son, the one who beats me, and this old man is not alone."

The mother's words made him stunned in place, and woke up like a dream.

People are actually that person, but things have long passed.

In our lives, we will inevitably be hurt, leaving a scar that is difficult to heal, no matter how long it has been in the past.

However, the situation has changed, and the past cannot be rearranged.

Balzak said: "You can't forget a lot of life, you can't continue life."

In the past, there is no need to ask any more;

In 1991, South African President Mandela shocked the world at the inaugural ceremony.

He even respectfully paid tribute to the three guards who had been detained.

However, what makes the world admire is the next sentence he said:

"When I walked out of the prison door to a free prison, I had clearly knew that if I couldn't leave sadness and resentment behind me, then I was still in prison."

It is this previously not blame that Mandela is supported by countless people and eventually becomes a generation of great men.

Mr. Ji Xianlin said in "Lifetime":

"If you are always entangled, then the pain will always be fresh and vivid, to torture you severely and cruelly at all times, it is better to be indifferent, indifferent, and indifferent."

Those things that make us unwilling have been passed after all; those who have resentful are only passers -by in life.

Life always goes forward, you can't always look back.

The world is like a book, and the page is over one page, and then you can write a new chapter.

4

Understand your ordinary, even if you are stubborn

Have you ever had such experience in life:

When reading, people who are similar to themselves are faster and anxious than themselves; after work, I see other colleagues faster than themselves and raise their salary and increase their salary. Stepping into the society, he is envious and jealous of those who are young but well -known.

Many times, we feel that others can easily succeed, and we will never catch up with our own efforts.

It was not until being overshadowed that he gradually recognized that he was an ordinary person.

In the movie "Hello Brad", I told such a story.

The protagonist has the hard work of Parder, and work hard. Although it is not fame, but also worry -free.

His wife works in the government department, and the son is about to enter university, and his life is fulfilling and happy.

After a classmate party, Brad fell into the edge of collapse.

He saw that his former classmates were brighter than one. Jason flew around the world by private jet, and Billy lived a retirement life on the beach at a young age.

Looking back on himself, he instantly felt that his first half of his life was worthless.

In order to catch up with those rich students, Brad began to work hard and started various investment.

As a result, not only did he fail to achieve the expected success, but instead made the original normal life made the chickens jump.

Later, Brad embarked on a salvation journey.

During the journey, he unexpectedly found that Jason's private jet was rented by the company, and the physical condition of Fortune was unsatisfactory ...

He only understood that everyone had unknown hardships. Instead of competing with himself, it was better to accept ordinary currents.

At the end of the film, Brad lived again, and his life gradually recovered his calmness.

Thinking of Park Shu's singing in "The Road to Ordinary":

"I used to lose all directions and lost all directions until I saw ordinary answers."

The hardest practice of a person's life is to choose to reconcile with himself.

Those fame and fortunes that cannot be caught up, even if it.

Keeping ordinary people, no matter how ordinary people can find their own light in their ordinary life.

▽

I have read a paragraph:

"I don't love to compare, not a manifestation of heartlessness, but because I have experienced a very bad test. I have seen excellent prosperity. I have learned to let it go. ","

Life is not easy, we don't need to embarrass ourselves.

When you encounter bad things, you will be more entangled in arguments. In the face of right and wrong, don't take care of it.

The soberness of adults is just about understanding and learning.

Like a praise, I hope you put down in your understanding and see the truth of life, and still live with hot air.

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