After stopping the internal consumption, my life is like opening up

Some time ago, the story of "Erma" swiped the screen online, and many people directly cured their spiritual internal consumption.

The sufferings encountered in the second man's life, casually pushed out a person who could overwhelm modern, but Erji bloomed the most beautiful flowers in the barren life, which was amazing and admired.

Modern people are obviously richer than in any era, but mental illness is more common than ever.

In fact, the tangling and calmness are completely in the same thought, the key lies in the change of mentality.

Beware of the mentality, everything goes smoothly.

Some people say that in the age of the division and distribution work, at that time, although the material was not rich, everyone was from the inner happiness.

The reason why we would feel that happiness was relatively high at that time, because it was a age of average distribution.

Everyone is the same, there will be no gap; everyone is the same, there will be no comparison.

Nowadays, people are very anxious, college classmates are married, relative children have bought a house, the company's colleagues have been promoted, and they seem to have nothing.

Once you enter the mentality of comparison, the success of others will become the root of your pain, making people unlimited trouble and anxiety.

"If people can firmly think in their hearts, do not compare, do not obey, do not be affected by others, they will be much happy to live a good life."

You must know that everyone's origin, talent, ability value, and causal karma are different. Such comparison is simply increasing, meaningless.

Stopping the heart of comparison can be used to dial the clouds in front of you, spend time on the meaning of life, and realize your own value.

Is there such a person around you.

They like to show their lives, luxurious houses, precious luxury goods, exquisite and good lives, and even some people prefer liabilities, and they must live for others.

If others have nothing to do, they will cause their own wind.

In the eyes of others, they gradually lost themselves, but they were exhausted in order to become the eyes of others.

Of course, some people passively accept the wishes of the people around.

For example: when they go to school, they are the universities that parents expect; after work, they are looking for the work that people around them are; when they get married, they choose the lover of the parents nodded.

They violated their hearts and obeyed the outside of the outside world, just to live as the expectation of others, not the life they wanted.

Excessive care of others' opinions is actually disrespect for yourself.

This mentality will make us feel tired in the eyes of others, and pain in the expectations of others.

I used to see a sentence, which made it reasonable: "Life for others, space holes; to see yourself, just call yourself."

When a person realizes that the world is his own, and it has nothing to do with others, we will understand that people have only one purpose in this life, that is, to abandon anyone's vision and live a real life they really want.

I wonder if you have such a time:

Obviously work is not your own error, but to push all issues to yourself?

Obviously breaking up is not your own reason, but always blame yourself without good enough?

If I will be more careful, there will be no problems. If I am gentle, he will not leave me.

No matter what you encounter, you will get habitual regrets, guilt, accusations, or even attack yourself. In this negative emotion, people become sluggish and serious internal consumption.

Habitual self -blame is actually a self -attack.

We blame ourselves that we are not good enough, lack of power, and insufficient energy. If we are strong enough, maybe everything will be different.

Is it really the truth?

Some things will appear even if you are carefully, and some people will leave even if you are nice.

The main reason for the problem is not at you at all.

There is no need to punish themselves with the mistakes of others, let alone torture yourself without errors in the process.

Seeing this clearly, we can face the problem with the correct mentality and make changes.

There is a friend around, a perfectionist.

How strict is his request?

For example, he was writing an article and was about to submit it. The editor asked him where he wrote, and he answered it straightforwardly that he hadn't written it at the beginning.

The editor was shocked, and he said very much: "I'm thinking about a stunning beginning."

It is completely speechless: When you come up, when is it?

At the request of perfectionism, he was not easy to live.

He often sets a very high goal for himself, asking himself to do the best. When this incident cannot be achieved, he will doubt himself, thinking that this is a failure and shame.

Under the actual high standards, his emotional internal consumption is extremely serious.

As a normal person, failure is actually a normal thing. Failure to summarize experience from it. Everyone is such a step -by -step self.

When a person requires himself with perfectionism, if he does not do perfect, it is garbage, and there is no tolerance to tolerate his middle area.

In this way, it is not good to blame yourself, except to hurt yourself.

The first step is to change the high standard of perfectionism.

Recognize your ability, realize your shortcomings, allow and accept your unsuccessful, so that you can liberate yourself from perfectionism.

How terrible is the person with negative energy?

There is a kind of person, no matter what you encounter, you must think about the bad direction, and then fall into your own bad emotions. I once met a friend with negative energy.

The whole person seemed to be frightened. When chatting, she kept telling her encounters, how bad colleagues, how silly the boss was, and how the company searched for it. In short, everyone was very bad in her eyes.

When I went home, I was very upset to watch her husband. I felt that her husband was not motivated, and the child often caused trouble at school. She felt that she had nothing to do.

She was immersed in the "victim" thinking that she couldn't extricate herself, and felt that everyone made her very painful.

But she really asked her to resign. She had many reasons, unwilling to change the environment, and did not want to change herself. She could only pass the energy and pass the emotions to the people she met.

Later, she met a psychologist who asked her to write down the advantages of her husband, son, colleague, and leader.

At first, she was very resistant. When I remembered them, her emotions became very excited. Later, they calmed down and found out that they could find the advantages from them.

The expression on her face was no longer resentful, but calm and peaceful.

When she was not sad when she went back, her son actually praised "Mom is so beautiful today."

After changing her mentality, she discovered that her life was so cool to maintain a positive emotion.

There is a very interesting group on Douban called "We are all procrastination."

Because the members of the group were severe patients with delay and got rid of the delay together, they set up this group.

So far, the group members have exceeded more than 225,000, which shows that there are many patients with procrastination.

The delay is also similar, such as:

There is still a week to submit papers, and it has not started;

It was almost the deadline for work, and finally began to start in panic.

The result is that work is always prone to leakage.

In fact, there is not much pleasure of delaying habits, but because of the last day of the last period, I feel extremely anxious.

The procrastination finally fell into such a vicious cycle: the more I don't want to do it, the more delay, the more anxious it is, the more anxious, and finally dragging to the last moment.

The final result is always unsatisfactory.

The easiest way to stop delay is to stop anxiety and do it immediately.

Actions are the best way to avoid emotional interference, and human emotions will be released in the process of action.

The final result is no longer important.

If you succeed, it is due to the effort; if it fails, it will be without regrets.

But if it is procrastinating, not only should you bear the early anxiety, but also to endure the repentance of failure.

The heart power is wasted in emotional vortex, and the effect of doing things is naturally reduced.

There is a question on Zhihu: What kind of life is the most painful?

One answer is deeply rooted in people's hearts: empty and boring, can't find the goal of life.

indeed so.

Those who do nothing all day, either waste time on low -level enjoyment, either thoughtful thoughts, disturbing the body, and self -disturbing.

The result of indulgence is to hurt the body, and the result of the waste is depression and depression.

The empty life is full of will, and the full life is full of meaning.

There was a Buddhist Master, named Dazhi, who had been traveling for 20 years, and finally decided to return to the original temple.

When he entered the door, the disciples didn't know it.

The reason is that twenty years have passed, and he was full of vitality as he did before departure.

The disciples are very puzzled. Ask the teacher: "How did you live in the past 20 years? Why don't you see your aging?"

Master smiled slightly and confused about the little disciple:

"In the past 20 years, I have a very full life. I am as happy as you are studying, writing, and writing every day. I am full of energy and my thinking."

The ultimate goal of life is meaningless, but it is countless small goals that connect our lives in series.

Looking for the meaning of alive every day, it is not necessary to spend this life.

Born as a person, we cannot avoid the invasion of emotional internal consumption.

Emotional internal consumption is not terrible. What is terrible is that we cannot defeat it, let our captives, indulge in it, and cannot extricate ourselves.

Every emotional problem is the opportunity to know ourselves. Behind each emotion, there is a real self.

Once we find the reason for emotions, we can find emotional antidote.

Don't escape, let alone fear, we must face it and accept it so that we can really shook it with it.

This is the most fundamental way to stop internal consumption.

Click [watching], may you stop your emotions, control your life, and have a free life.

Author | Su Shanshu, do not make sense, only tells stories.

Picture | Visual China

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