I appreciate this living woman
Author:reader Time:2022.09.08
Women's life is not easy. Many women live for others throughout their lives and never live well for themselves.
At the age of 28, most of the friends around me have talked about marriage and marriage, and their friends are exposed. In order to make their parents feel at ease, they rushed their blind date, and eventually they married a person who said that she could pass.
At the age of 30, it is common for a baby to get up in the middle of the night. It is common for her husband to cry in the middle of the night and go to sleep at the room. At two or three in the morning, you look at the child and want to cry.
At the age of 40, while working hard for the child's academic studies, he must also take care of the inpatient mother -in -law carefully. The tiredness of his heart cannot talk to his husband who is full of alcohol in the middle of the night.
At the age of 50, the child was admitted to his favorite university and sent him to the airport. He looked at his background and gradually drifted away. He sighed: The child is old, and he is old. Where is time?
At the age of 60, the child is engaged. The future daughter -in -law is gentle and sensible. You seem to see you young. Looking back at 30 years, you are all family, husband and children in life.
In a busy life, we all longed for the envy and yearning for others, but lost ourselves in the chicken hair of the marriage. How can we save ourselves?
Picture source: panorama vision
Accept "each need to take"
Every woman who enters the marriage is running for the rest of her life.
But only when you enter the marriage, you know that the essence of marriage is "each need to take." No one can be lying flat all the time, and no one is willing to pay.
All the dedication in marriage is based on mutual assistance. You and him must not only be equivalent to each other, but also independent economically.
As the writer Bi Shumin said: "Marriage is like a slow -growing plant. It needs to be constantly irrigated, adding fertilizer, repairing branches and leaves, and killing insects.
Recently, "Ode to Joy 3" was popular, and one of the "New Five Beauty" in the play was entangled by his ex -boyfriend Chen Zhafa. In order to get rid of his entanglement, Zhu Ye asked him to talk in person.
In the cafe, Chen Zhafa wanted to reunite with Zhu Ye and married as soon as possible. He said that he could raise Zhu Ye, which was the needs of Chen Zhafa.
Zhu Xi calculated a clear account for Chen Zufa. The two were together. The monthly rent, clothes, cosmetics, diet and other costs needed a total of 19,000 yuan. This is the demand of Zhu Xi.
Zhu Ye asked Chen Zufa: "My current monthly income can just maintain such a standard of life. You say you raise me, can you guarantee that my life standards will not be reduced after marriage?"
Chen Zhafa ran away. Because he couldn't afford it, he did not have enough material ability to support Zhu Xi's standard of marriage.
Zhu Xi can successfully get rid of the entanglement of Chen Zhafa because she understands the "different needs of each of the marriage", and the best way to force Chen Zhafa to leave Chen Zhafa to understand that he cannot meet her needs.
Smart women know not to be entangled, accept and recognize the fact that marriage "takes", and only need to do what they should do in the marriage, and be responsible for each other, and grow up with each other.
Picture source: panorama vision
Refuse "palm upward"
I like a word very much: "No one will be the shelter of this life you think in this life. Only yourself is your last asylum. Even if it is broken, it is rude, and it is better than the fence."
Good things in the world are not firm, Caiyun is easy to disperse glazed. Married because of love, scattered because of no love, is the current situation of most marriage in today's society.
Women entering the marriage is to determine that the other party depends on her for the rest of her life, and after the marriage, the woman opens her hands and children in order to ask for money and ask for money to ask for money. Essence
Those who used to take your life to raise you for a lifetime. When you choose to rely on him and give up yourself for your family, you can only "palms up" and let him go.
Recently, Jiangxi Satellite TV's "Gold Medal" ushered in the new issue of the emotional mediation of couples.
The wife said to the host: "Before marriage, when he was married, the husband promised that I would not have to do farm work after marriage. After the marriage, I asked my husband to ask for living expenses.
Husband refuted: "At that time, it was not false, but the economic conditions at home after marriage were not allowed. You asked me if you asked me for money, buy this and buy that, how can I have money for you."
In addition to the quarrel between husband and wife, his wife's long -term "palms up", in the eyes of her mother -in -law, it is a very defeated manner. As a result, her mother -in -law pulled a family group, and her daughter -in -law and son were all in the group. Only this daughter -in -law was not in the group.
During his wife's confinement, she asked her husband for living expenses. Her husband did not care about her outside, so she continued to WeChat and the phone urged to ask for money. When the husband returned from get off work, she smashed 100 yuan on her face.
The wife cried to the host: "At that moment, I knew he didn't treat me as a person. I didn't want to pick up the 100 yuan, but I thought of the child, I don't want to be dignified, don't face face, I just want to live."
For this wife, her husband's coldness and ignorance, her mother -in -law's abuse and isolation made her think that she was a happy harbor marriage, which became a painful abyss.
"Hand -up" is never free. Women are not as expected to expect themselves.
There is a saying that it is good to say that the fire borrowed does not light up his heart. When I was young, my parents can cover the wind and rain for you, but they will grow old; when they grow up, their lover cares for you, but the relationship is a shelf life.
None of the shoulders in this world can always let you rely on. No matter how beautiful the love story, there is always one person to leave first.
Reject "your palms up", cultivate yourself, grow yourself, strive to be your own backing, and rely on your own power of life. This is the biggest confidence of a woman. Picture source: panorama vision
Find "complete self"
I agree with one sentence: "As long as you are willing to go, you have stepped on; as long as you do not avoid and retreat, the applause of life will eventually sound."
Women are looking for "complete self" in this life. What is "complete self"? Women can be the mother's daughter, the husband's wife, and the mother of the child, but first of all, it is herself.
In a certain program, the actor Liu Mindao recalled his divorce on the eve of his divorce: "2013, that summer, I was lying alone on that bed, thinking that I haven't seen my husband for a long time. Suddenly, the other sherself appeared, she looked down at him, she looked down at him, and she looked down at him. I was lying on the bed. "
"She asked me to see her loneliness and not worth it in this marriage. The next day, I have decided to divorce."
How many women are in the marriage, the mother -in -law's daughter -in -law, the husband's wife, or the mother's mother, but she can't be her own. She is bothering her mother -in -law, worried about her husband, and working for her child, but she forgets herself.
At the age of 37, Liu Mintao chose to divorce and had great courage, but she was unwilling to be the helpless woman secretly shed tears. She chose to say goodbye to her past and chose to pursue "complete self".
At the age of 40, she has a well -known interpretation of the characters in the TV series "Langya List" and "The Pretender".
As she said in his speech "My Middle -aged Rebellion": "There is never one way of living in life, no matter what time, don't break your wings, and don't pin all the hope on others."
No woman is not eager to return to the family and be a wise and virtuous wife, but the woman must first be her own, she has to have her own name, not a certain wife.
The most beautiful moment of a woman is not the moment when she marries, but the moment when she is returning to herself.
Smart women will definitely find "complete self" and be their own queen.
Picture source: panorama vision
Writer Zhang Defen said: "What really hurts you is never the matter itself, but your view of things. No one can make you pain for so long, unless you want."
People who make people appreciate and envy are not unsuccessful, not injured, not tolerated, but they will accept the marriage of the marriage, reject the marriage of the marriage, and find "complete yourself".
When a woman lives as her own backing, lives real and chic, has the courage to transform her, and has a more confident of it. This is the beginning of a woman to become excellent.
Leonard Cohen wrote in "Song Song": "Everything has cracks, that is where light comes in."
Those who hold the old things will not consume the happiness that they can get. Smart women know how to let old things pass, embrace the sun, and welcome the arrival of happiness.
Such a living method is the most worthy of appreciation and longing.
Clicking on "watching", I hope you can love freely, live with confidence, and be your own queen.
Author: Ding Zhiyuan, accompany you through the summer flowers, watch the Qiu Ye Jingmei, Ren Chun, winter.
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