[High -end original poetry platform] Selected review of the 540th issue of Yunfan Poetry Society

In front

One of the poems, there is no way to learn, and there is no way to learn. Scholars, the stones of other mountains can attack jade; The ancients of the ancients were "like a discussion, such as thinking like a grind", so that the gentleman's demeanor is even more extended to be a good learning spirit. Today Yunfan's setting up this column is a place for our exchanges, a place for identification, and a platform for progress.

Yunfan Reading Weitang

Bitter drought, when he heard southern heavy rain

Guo Dingqian (Chengdu)

The ignorance of heaven is sunny, like fried like a bitter life.

May the southern country Xiaoxiao rain come to Jixi rivers and drought.

[Su Jun commented] I imagining strange, hard -hearted. Wish to get the world's slaughtering officials.

A group of micro -electric fans in seven words

Xiyinzi

Qiulai was hot and died, and the small fan lowered the twilight and dynasty.

At first glance, the breeze blew up, and suddenly felt that the grandmother was shaking.

[Su Jun Comments] Borrowing the questions, the fan and the affection are used. Although the words are not arrested, the love is true.

stream

Huang Haitao

Water flowing the moss on the stone, and the diarrhea was shocked.

Byri Creek goes in the sky, and the night is all over the dream.

[Su Jun commented] The benefits of this poem are at the turn, and the resignation is clear.

In the autumn, there is a nostalgia (Bu Yun Du Fu Qiu Xing Eight Sixth))

Zhongye

At dusk, the head of the building is very autumn.

White -haired and empty -wandering, the west wind blew up the garden.

The pity of the past was quite struggling, and Fu Yusheng was aura.

Suddenly asked where the village was sent, and the night came to Qianzhou.

Note: Qianzhou, Ganzhou ancient claims, my hometown is Longnan, Ganzhou, Jiangxi.

[Su Jun Comments] The sentence is as stable. Although the idea is not very high, you can still read it.

Eya Mei Qiuhuai

Li Jiarong

Leaning for the high -rise building at dusk, whoever talks about the past. Zhenghong's front line, go to Cheng Qianli, float in the world.

Annual year, let's say goodbye to what is good, speechless and ecstasy. Thinking the most, Muishan Mei Dai, Qiushui Yiren.

[Su Jun Comments] From near to far, it can be collected so far. Love charm is faint, not close.

Night reading

Bao Pu Shusheng

No one said, Nanhua occasionally ginseng.

The night frog was noisy, and he also talked about an old student.

[Zhou Xiangdong Comments] Good works! Each sentence is available. The spirit is in a faint place, and it is also purely with life experience.

Yongdanfeng

Guo Tonghai (Beijing)

Wanmu Linyin Cui, but the cream is different.

Wonderful life, the curtain is red.

[Zhou Xiangdong Comments] One or two sentences are real, and three or four sentences are brilliant. Although the intention is old, the emotions of life are new.

In the city

Jiang Changdian

He entered the city with the elderly, and lived in the high -level hanging in the air.

The rural vegetable garden can't be kissed.

[Zhou Xiangdong Comments] Hanging in the air, wonderful. Turning naturally, there are a few onions.

Poetry of Poetry of Poetry

Su Jun

Suiyuan is still not good, not to mention that the waist is full of eyes.

Whenever it is clumsy, good poems never have to be arranged.

[Zhou Xiangdong Comments] Jun Brother Poetry is so clever, this evaluation is willing. It is true that you only need to be natural, coincidentally and unintentionally.

Title Bee Cave

Wang Chaoqun

The wind sweeps the Longtan into the cave, and the five colors are bundled with mountains and ropes.

Shi Xian wanted to engrave Jin Danjue on the shore of Qingyang Water.

[Zhou Xiangdong Comments] Super group poems are small, and they make good use of verbs. Such as: sweeping, bundling, engraving, etc. are all ruthless, quite modern. This is also unique in the poetry.

Yin Yin

Chen Rende

Little live in the mountain resort, talk about the guesthouse of the guest house.

Shulin was cold and windy, and the birds faint.

Three years of the epidemic withering, the danger was locked in thousands.

Meeting Xiu said that the chaotics are affected, the new fresh mushrooms can be saved.

[Zhou Xiangdong Comments] Both the old verse and discussion of Ren Lao, naturally, Gonggu is also outside the poem. The experience of resonating with me is its success.

Monging grape

Zhang Mingxin

The green vines are drooping purple string, green shade and red dust.

It is expensive with its own pearls and will not be charming.

[Jiang Lan's comment] Yongwu and others, see yourself high -grade.

Green bamboo

Lei Shenglong (Shangrao)

There are several bamboo in front of the court, and the wind is trending every day.

It is not humble, just because the waist is not thick.

[Jiang Lan's comment] The intention is not bad, and the resignation is slightly vulgar.

Visit Changsha Sanjie's Oks

Jiang Changdian

The tiger tent talked about the night, and the middle and moon were hooked.

The heavenly furnace destroyed the courage and was full of Qi Tanzhou.

[Jiang Lan's comment] Little poems are very good.

In the city

Jiang Changdian

He entered the city with the elderly, and lived in the high -level hanging in the air.

The rural vegetable garden can't be kissed.

[Jiang Lan Comments] From a perspective, it reflects the loss of rural elderly people entering the city for pension. It is quite representative and typical. The language is simple and appropriate.

A group of micro -electric fans in seven words

Xiyinzi

Qiulai was hot and died, and the small fan lowered the twilight and dynasty.

At first glance, the breeze blew up, and suddenly felt that the grandmother was shaking.

[Jiang Lan Comments] After fully paving the groundwork, the end of the sentence turned to the theme, naturally and deep.

Green bamboo

Lei Shenglong (Shangrao)

There are several bamboo in front of the court, and the wind is trending every day.

It is not humble, just because the waist is not thick.

[Ban Yin Lu Dian Jian] Trends and not tending, whether the waist is thick, but it is even more turbulent. Therefore, there is any room for Si Shi.

Listen to rain (Xin Yun)

Wang Yuying

Tap the barrier and wash it.

The eaves tiles are still dripping, and the autumn heart is clear.

[Ban Yin Lu Dian] Tap the rock, the language is slightly clumsy. When it comes to clear, it is particularly indifferent to wipe the previous meaning.

Early in the cold

蘅 蘅 蘅 蘅 蘅

It is not necessary to say that coolness is the most.

Cut the water slowly, and invited people to the Qiushan. [Ban Yin Lu comment] Although the first sentence is straight and good. The second sentence seemed to be unsuccessful. Class alone, don't understand. Turning to see the taste, it is especially good.

stream

Huang Haitao

Water flowing the moss on the stone, and the diarrhea was shocked.

Byri Creek goes in the sky, and the night is all over the dream.

[Banyin Lu Dian] The first sentence has been named water, so the second sentence is some expenses. Sentences are slightly casual, but fortunately, you can still take it. It's just a little deliberate.

Look at the sea

Liao Runchang

Benyun swallowed, and the boat wave was anxious.

There is no room, and the gull shadow is still wet.

[Begonia Comment] Gu is short and refined, and the rhyme is interesting.

Hill

Wang Kaiyan

After Ye Yu Xiaoxiao, Shan Xintao gradually heard.

The cliff head hangs the waterfall and landed on the ground.

[Begonia Comment] The latter two -sentence waterfall high degradation is very good.

Poetry of Poetry of Poetry

Su Jun

Suiyuan is still not good, not to mention that the waist is full of eyes.

Whenever it is clumsy, good poems never have to be arranged.

[Begonia Comment] Good discussion. It is not coincidence that the trace of the ax is overweight, and the poets do not know how to learn, the more the so -called learning, the more evil. This medical record is all the same.

Cane shrimp

Wang Jin (Handan, Hebei Province)

Duo Li Sheng came to bow, and the long beard said that he became early.

Why is it afraid of loneliness in his life, but he is afraid of fame and hype.

[Begonia Comments] Four sarcasm and three things are proper and new.

Brother Wenmou will come to Jiayu to send

Yao Quan's name

Three years like a thousand miles, one Phoenix Tower.

The wind is tired, and the flowers are concerned about immune -avoiding.

Read more poems, and there is less transmission.

I heard that there was a film, waiting for the kerba Yueqiu.

[Begonia Comment] The neck is excellent. "From the head" and "Zhongyi" are right, the literal is good, the meaning is better, and it is full of human feelings. Reading poems like you can't say something.

Quiet night with thoughts

Cui Dehuang

The people's doubts are always struggling, but they will help the world.

The boat was more than the rush, and the road of the Shandeng Insurance Office was difficult.

Three meals are allowed to be full of warmth, so why not say that the word is light.

Just be indifferent to the gate, but also like Yangzi to mockery.

[Begonia Comments] Eight sentences are discussing, it is not easy to write. There are two units in the middle. You Xi "Why is there a light word for the words". Only "food and clothing" is slightly uncomfortable with flatness.

Sitting in the middle and small sitting in the Maoling Gulfin Pavilion

Wang Congying

It was new after the rain and mountains, and the sitting pavilion forgot to the body.

The soles of the feet are placed in golden leaves, and the green water is washed in front of the eyes.

There is no self in the sky, there are people in the high and low highs.

This spring is still turbid, and it is advisable to persuade the king to stay early.

[Begonia Comment] Tailing is good. There is no fish to clear the water. The meaning is rich and the words are clear. Lianlian is not good at writing scenes, and you should practice more scenery.

Butterfly · Rebelling Liuhua Lake Recalling Tsinghua Sister Qinghua

Xiaomei window

Willow embankment,。 ，. Xiaofeng lowered the light, and the smoke boat entered the dream fan.

Qu Annou has no shadow, who wants to treat who wants to treat. The old once traveled to the grass and left, and two or three butterflies flew.

[Begonia Comment] Master Mei ’s words have five generations of Northern Song Dynasty.

Qinyuanchun · self -topic and give birth to life

Jun Lan

The water color is vast, looking back at the threshold, and the cold flowers float. At the beginning of the moon, the lake was clear; Yunshan was from far away, and Guiying Tongyou. The physical endlessness, the years of sighing, the losing career looks like white gulls. Sent, wait for the wine to dance, and then admire Wu Hook.

When is it also planned. It seemed like a dream in the dream. To the depths of Wuling, hidden the trace; outside the Chauzhou, the birds are binding. The boss's mind, the young man, the surplus of the bullfighting. I should see me, and even more fishing yesterday, I hit the middle.

[Begonia Comment] Good words, Fan Facing Four Characters Fair. Change the sixteen characters in one go, and get the body's qi. The end of the sentence is vulgar, the qi is stagnant, and the slight flaw. I love this tone very much, and I have made a few suggestions: three sentences starting, although the "flower" is not necessary to be snoring, it is advisable to use it. Facing the two fans, you can use one to 3, 2 to 4, one to 2, 3 to 4, or 1 or 2 battles, 3 or 4. Two -knot four -character sentences can also be wrong. The formal form is more flexible, and the vitality is more round.

Trees

Yang Defeng

How many trees in the world are not named.

Leave it coolly, and the later life is passed on.

[Liu Nengying's comment] Former generations planted trees and rested. Although they were well -known, poetic questions, especially "post -life and post -life", even felt the blessing of blessings and endless endlessness.

Doctor Mountain

Tang Jiejun

Qingzi red and yellow entered the eyes, and the blue water was gloomy in a bay.

The sporadic gray bird over the air, grabbing the colorful autumn lens.

[Liu Nengying Comments] In the colorful world of blue and purple and yellow, the sporadic gray is eye -catching. Although it is dark, in a quiet world, only this sporadic gray is smart, so so How eye -catching it is.

Remember yesterday, the southern city comrades invited to drink

Lu Lengfu

Fangzhuang Road is far away, and Yumi Dongting is like spring.

The ancient rhythm opened a new weather, and the fragrance awakened the old gene.

The cold moon in his heart was embraced from the other side, and every time the Great Wall was stuffed.

Whether to recall the wind and wind late, it was once a border.

[Liu Nengying comment] Reading to "Meteorology" is wonderful for "gene". Reading to "once a border", I feel high. Praise the genes of the people.

Pinzi · Qiu Ye

Chen Zhen (Henan)

The golden house is cold, and the jade cup is empty. The most deeper is not there, and you are drunk to lie in the moon.

[Liu Nengying's comment] The ancient meaning is strong. Although it is lacking in modernity, it also shows that since ancient times, the sorrow of autumn is lonely.

Gaochang on the top of Wenfeng Mountain

On the nineth day of entering the mountain, most of them stopped in the middle of the mountain. Flowers have been pleasing, and they are even higher. At this occasion, there is a slight time, leaning on the stick. Shi Ji explained unsatisfactory, steep rock slope. Grass trees leaked to the sun, and the green dyeing Jin Cheng. The grasshopper fell from the shoulder, and the cobweb was horizontal. The cicada is noisy, and the rats meet. Move the mountain flowers, turning around Hu Die was shocked. Matshu deeper, vaguely listened to human voice. The wind is good all the way, send me the top layer. The word "Wenfeng" is the name of the mountain. Gao Zhihong has a flag, bright and bright. The fluttering clouds were scattered, and Mang Cang was invisible. Overlooking the Xuanganyuan, overlooking Huairou City. Four followers open, draw a thousand screens. If I never arrived, this situation was lonely. The poem was stunned, leaving a love. Turning around is quite embarrassed, with the pottery of the pottery. I am so extravagant.

[Liu Nengying Comments] The mountains of the world are similar, and the scenery of nature is different. An ordinary mountain peak, by chance, has never arrived, and all emotional.

Look at the sea

Liao Runchang

Benyun swallowed, and the boat wave was anxious.

There is no room, and the gull shadow is still wet.

[Yang Qiang's comment] The sentence is healthy, and the merits of refining. The last sentence does not say "body wet" and "shadow wet", seeing the spirit and charm.

Stream

Liu Wujun

The waterfall flying the birds and birds, the diameter of the grass flower shop.

Ascend Qingyuankou, sit and watch Yunyi Lake.

[Yang Qiang's comment] The first three sentences are ordinary, and the fourth sentence is excellent.

In the city

Jiang Changdian

He entered the city with the elderly, and lived in the high -level hanging in the air.

The rural vegetable garden can't be kissed.

[Yang Qiang's comment] The language is too simple, and the resignation is slightly inferior. Miao has a good perspective in three or four sentences. From a young age, he wrote that although the old people in the countryside lived in the city, they had a natural sense of closeness to the countryside of the countryside. This kind of intimacy can be seen from the "balcony chat with a few onions".

Bitter drought, when he heard southern heavy rain

Guo Dingqian (Chengdu)

The ignorance of heaven is sunny, like fried like a bitter life.

May the southern country Xiaoxiao rain come to Jixi rivers and drought.

[Yang Qiang commented] If the author is from the south, and the south is on the heavy rain, Xichuan is bitter and drought, and three or four sentences are written as "willing to divide the southern country Xiaoxiao rain and come to Jichuan's red drought", which is very appropriate. Because this heavy rain belongs to the south, it is both a south and willing to divide some relief Xichuan, which is reasonable and can reflect the feelings of compassion.

However, the author is from Xichuan (Chengdu). This rain belongs to the southern country. In this case, it should not be said to be "divided", but should be said to be "begging" or "borrowing".

For example, my own family is poor and wealthy next door, but says "I am willing to divide some money from the neighbors to help my home." This is not suitable for others.

Introduction to critics

Introduction to Ban Yinlu

Half -hidden Lu, real name Meng Xiangrong, Chu people live in Guangdong, university professor. He is currently serving as a poetry of Yunfan Poetry Association.

Brief Introduction to Jiang Lan

Jiang Lan, male, born in 1968, from Xinyang, Henan. He graduated from the Chinese Department of Renmin University of China and worked at the National Federation of Trade Unions Teaching and Sports Trade Unions. He is currently the deputy director of the editorial department of "Poetry", deputy editor -in -chief of "China Ci Fu", and a consultant of Yunfan Poetry. He is the author of the selection of old style poems "Drinking River Collection" and "Xiang Ying Collection -Six Poetry Selection".

Introduction to Zhou Xiangdong

The owner of Laoshan, the real name Zhou Xiangdong, was born in 68 years. Calligraphy and painters are Mr. Wang Zhenduo from Yu Shan; Poetry Merchants Mr. Wang Yan Kancan; Western painting, theoristian Mr. Wang Lin, also good at poetry, comments, etc.

Introduction to Liu Nengying

Liu Nengying, a member of the Chinese Writers Association, a signing writer of the China Natural Resources Association, a specially hired by the Chinese University of Geosciences (Beijing), and the 22nd high -research class of the Lu Academy. Senior training class of the Poetry and Training Department of the Chinese Poetry Society, the special poet critic of "Yunfan Poetry", and editor -in -chief of "Poetry Calendar" and "Twelve Family of Contemporary Poems". Won the "Poetry" 2014 Youth Poet Award and the 6th Chinese Gem Literature Award. There are several registered qualification certificates. He is the author of poetry selection "Changan Xingxing", "Dadu", and collection "Xingxing Re -E remitt". The work was selected as the third series of the "New Century New Yin Home" and the first season of "Good Poetry" of China Youth Publishing House.

Introduction to Su Jun

Su Jun, No. Shi Zhai, Cantonese. He is currently the director of the review department of the Ninth Cultural Research Institute and the mentor of the New News Agency. Poetry and poetry have won more than a thousand national awards. He has been the judge of the final trial of the National Poetry Contest. There are many books such as "Shiti Zhaibu and Gong Dingji's Miscellaneous Poems", "Stone Tu Gengzi Ci", and "Eighteen Songs of Songs".

Yang Qiang profile

Yang Qiang, Xuexue Window, born in 1987, Xiangyang, Hubei. Zhejiang Satellite TV's "Up, Poetry" champion, won the "Poetry" 2020 Chen Ziang Youth Poetry Award, the third "National Poetry Contest" Poetry Department, and the first "Sea Yue Cup" Poetry Contest Poetry Department Volume 1 The third class of the finals of the word department is the judge of the poetry department of the second "Xiangtianhua Cup" Poetry Contest.

Brief introduction

Tang Yanyu, Xiaoyao Begonia, Zhai Xiaohu Fairy Pavilion. The world lives in Jinling, post -90s, poet, doctor of literature, and concurrently compiled the poems of Yunfan Poetry Association.

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