Adults get along with the hidden rules: Knowing people do not evaluate people, knowing things are silent, knowing not to argue
Author:Insight Time:2022.08.25
Author: LEYLA
Delivered by the world, looking through human feelings but nodding.
Ancient Indian philosopher Bai Derba has a famous saying, which has been circulating for a long time:
"It is the best virtue to control your tongue."
People who open their mouths when they open their mouths seem to be able to say that they can speak, but they are the most effective.
It is the biggest cleverness of adults to hold back the desire to be tongue.
01
Knowing people or not judge
I have seen such a story.
Lao Zhang and Fa Lao Li met with his heart.
After three patrols, I was interested. Lao Zhang asked Lao Li: "Do you think I have any shortcomings to change for so long?"
Originally just asked casually, but I did not expect that Lao Li really scolded the other party's shortcomings:
"You have a bad temper, you have a bad temper, you have a bad card, and you have a lot of money.
Lao Li was like a bamboo tube pouring beans, crackling and speaking in his heart.
On the opposite side, the smile gradually disappeared, and his eyes pulled down.
A party that was originally happy, and finally broke up.
Wang Xiaobo said: "The mouth foam splashes, and the value of others is very low." The level is very low. "
Life is alive, not all things can be discussed straightforwardly.
Sometimes your casual evaluation may have swept the prosperity of others; an unintentional sentence will bring the shadow that is difficult to erase to the other party.
Writer Liu Xinglong has loved literature since he was a child. After graduating from high school, he was sent to the reservoir as a construction worker. Every day after get off work, other workers would meet everywhere. Only Liu Xinglong stayed in the dormitory to write a book.
However, Liu Xinglong, who had just tried to write, was not yet mature, and the manuscript was often returned.
Whenever the manuscript was returned to the sending room, the small factories of more than two hundred people soon became well known, and the workers were behind them.
At the beginning, Liu Xinglong did not take care of these gossip.
Until one time, the manuscript was returned. A worker said in front of everyone and said loudly that he was not suitable for writing. He was a useless "home".
This sentence deeply stabbed Liu Xinglong's heart.
He couldn't help but doubt his ability, thinking that he was a "person with poor writing talents", and even wanted to give up the path of literature.
Many years later, Liu Xinglong successfully won the Mao Dun Literature Award through his own efforts, but he was still deeply buried in the painful experience of being degraded, making him unforgettable for a long time.
Mr. Qian Zhongshu said:
"Those whispering, just like the gravel in the rice or there is no clean thorns in the raw fish fillets, giving people a pain that does not expect."
A bad comment that comes out, like bullets, hitting a person's heart, is a hard -to -fit injury.
Mature people know how to know and say nothing.
The life of others, whether good or not, keep silent.
The choice of others, regardless of whether it is right or wrong.
Do not speak lightly, do not discuss, do not comment, is the best consideration for others, and the greatest kindness for others.
02
Knowing things silently
In life, some people are always anxious to express themselves. They do not vomit in trouble and ignore the feelings of others.
But the result is that the more you say, the more wrong, and the more contradictions cause.
Mediaman@小, tell the story of a friend of him.
One day, their company came with a group of customers, and the boss took the visit to the company, and he followed him.
At first, everything went smoothly, but when the instrument control room, the guests saw two indicators on the dashboard flashed and flashed, and asked, "Why does this indicator light flash?"
The boss replied: "When the liquid reaches the critical point, it will not flash."
The crowd nodded suddenly, and the friends standing aside, but came coldly: "No, the light is broken."
For a while, everyone turned to look at the boss, and the boss was embarrassed in an instant. The original discussion was cold.
As the old saying, people live a face and the tree lives.
In fact, it is not straightforward, but I have no eyesight. At the same time as embarrassing others, it will also put themselves into a embarrassment.
Learn to be silent in a timely manner, giving people face -to -face, is the real high emotional intelligence.
Educating everyone Cai Yuanpei has a lot of knowledge in his life, and has excellent achievements in the education community and aesthetics.
But this is such a great character, but it is low -key and humble, never saying that others are embarrassed.
In 1935, London held a famous Chinese painting exhibition. Cai Yuanpei, Lin Yutang, and French sin expert Boxi and invited to participate in the selection.
Boji and herself think that they are China, so they are endless in the museum:
"This painting color is good. At first glance, it is a famous painting!" "That Huizong Goose I know is the real product at a glance. You may not understand. If you want to identify the authenticity, you need to see the seal and ink!" "This picture The landscape paintings won me, so I chose it! "
In the huge museum, Bo Xi's exaggerated talk.
At this time, Cai Yuanpei, who was standing aside, knew that Bo Xi was interested in showing and vulnerability, but he just nodded lightly and did not expose it.
There is a saying: A full mouth is full, looking through human feelings but nodding.
Cave through the world is a kind of ability, but it is a great wisdom to know but not saying.
A person who has a cultivation will never embarrass others between words and deeds.
Because they understand:
Leaving face to others is to earn face for yourself; leaving room for others is to earn the world for yourself. Watching it without saying a break, or not disassembling to see through, is the best success for each other.
03
Invoication and no argument
There is such a sentence in "Watchman in Wheat Fields":
"Don't argue with a fool, otherwise others will not know who is a fool."
One of the mature signs is no longer persistently competing with others.
Writer@作 作 作 作 shared his experience.
Once, he wrote an article and published it online.
Someone left a message in the comment area: "What junk articles do you write?"
The articles written by hard work were said to be "garbage", and Lao Yang was angry and anxious.
He replied angrily: "If my article is wrong, welcome to point out."
As a result, the other party said straightforwardly, "Who can see this garbage!"
Lao Yang was more angry, and he was ready to fight back.
But he suddenly laughed before sending.
He realized that if he continued to argue, he would also become a spray that only scolded each other.
Zhou Guoping said: "There must be incompetence wisdom in life."
Many times, the more you argue, the more arrogant others.
Instead of entanglement, it is better to see it.
In the variety show "Our Master", Liu Yuning asked the gourmet Cai Lan:
"If someone scolds you online, what do you think?"
Cai Lan's answer is spicy but simply: "The biggest insult to the other party is not answering."
As saying in the saying goes: a dog bite a bite, and people cannot always bite the dog.
You stand on the top of the mountain and tell him that there is a ocean in front of him. He is on the mountainside, but he can only see the desolation.
Stopping in place to entangle with others, it is your time.
It is more important to take your own way.
▽
Mr. Zhu Ziqing said:
"Silence is a kind of philosophy of life. When it is used well, it is even more art."
In the world of adults, what is not needed is not to open the evaluation, the guidance of heights, and the controversy of your death.
It is just right, and the silent silence.
Life is like chess, there is no regret. Listen to less, learn to shut up.
Like a praise later, and take every silence as a cultivation.
- END -
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