What is a husband and wife?What is a lover?This is the best answer

Some time ago, brushed a hot topic on Zhihu:

What is the essence of love and lover?

Netizen@网 小 了 gave a high answer:

"'Lover' is more of love. This love often only pursues happiness, and does not seek responsibility and dedication.

‘Lover’ is based on love, and a further relative relationship has been established. The two are responsible for each other and need to sharing them together. "

Think about it, it is true.

Lover and lover seem to have only one word, but the subsequent weights are very different.

Good lover can be lovers; but people with love may not be a lover.

After all, "love" contains the companionship of the long stream of water, and the persistence of each other is more deeper and heavier than the simple emotion.

Those who are willing to work with us for a lifetime must be lover.

Watching the TV series "The next stop is happiness", I still remember a clip:

During her pregnancy, Xiaoyu found her husband Shen Fanfan derailed.

Nevertheless, she was still aggrieved for her children, and she couldn't poke Shen Fanfan in person.

Xiaoyu thought, waiting for the child to be born, communicate with her husband and solve the problem.

But one day, Shen Fanfan's complaint passed to her ear:

"It's too painful to go home. I can't stand Xiaoyu looking at my look, as if I want to force me to grow up, as if I can't have my own life if I have a child!"

These words made Xiaoyu completely chilling.

Shen Fanfan will not know that when he dances with his lover every night, he is a big rain with a big belly, doing housework and bringing children at home;

He wouldn't know that when he laughed at Xiao Yu's milk smell and shit and urine smell in his back, his wife endured her pregnancy and swallowed all grievances.

It is true that for the family, any part of the husband and wife can do some proper concessions and patience.

But this does not mean that love has no bottom line.

In the end, Xiao Yu, who was hurt, filed a divorce to Shen Fanfan.

At this time, Shen Fanfan's lover also left Shen Fanfan because of "getting tired".

After some, Shen Fanfan lost his wife and lost his lover. He had to pay a lot of support for each month, and regretted that his intestines were green.

"Secret of intimacy" says:

Any affair will bring consequences. The sense of guilt in my heart and the degree of secrets of this secret are enough to ensure that the triangle relations will never be truly happy.

For many people, finding a lover means to escape the marriage relationship and seek freshness for a while.

However, the feelings that start with freshness will also end because of the disappearance of freshness and the breeding of guilt.

Everyone knows that it is better to cherish inside instead of seeking stimuli.

Excavate the flash of your partner, and you will understand the preciousness of the other person;

Only to communicate with each other's true thoughts can get understanding and nourishing.

The really happy feelings are to fall in love with the same person again and again, rather than looking for freshness from different people.

Famous psychologist Flom has proposed that the connotation of love includes: trust, respect, tolerance, responsibility and concern.

The most important thing is trust.

In love with each other, trusting each other can be unwavering; lack of trust, if you are doing thin ice.

In "Day Yan", the heroine derailed a male teacher, but felt uneasy because his lover often met his wife.

Although the lover has given the heroine a sufficient promise, she still can't believe that this unsightly feelings can come to the end.

She said to her lover: "I have betrayed others, so I can't believe it, you won't betray me."

Let the guest sigh.

A relationship that is fully betrayed by betrayal will also be betrayed because of fear of being betrayed.

Those relationships that can go on for a long time cannot be separated from the trust between each other.

When the writer Ma Jiahui was young, he was handsome and handsome, and he was liked by many fans.

But his wife Zhang Jiayu was never jealous.

Not only did she rest assured that Ma Jiahui participated in various signing meetings, but she also agreed to the husband's proposal to "sleep in a house".

On weekdays, they did not disturb each other in the separated room; when they were tired, they went to the living room to eat and talk.

This seemingly alienated way of getting along made the couple find a fully emotional fulcrum. After 30 years of marriage, they still loved it.

"Secret of intimacy" says:

The contractual relationship of marriage will make people confident to bear more risks. When both parties do this, the trust between husband and wife will be more stable.

Good couples trust each other.

Because you know the needs of the other party, you will not be suspicious of each other because of some small details;

Because I believe in the character of the other party, they can always reach an agreement and do not suffer.

With such a marriage, with the improvement of trust, feelings will be strong for a long time.

I've heard such a small story:

The apprentice asked: What is a lover?

The master replied: Lover is a lover, an enemy, and a stranger.

Apprentice: Why do you say so?

Master: When the two love each other, they are lover; when they become enemies, they are enemies; they are strangers when they are regarded as strangers.

Apprentice: Why do you turn like this?

Master: The generation of love is because of greed, greedy love, and persistence, because of persistence, want to possess;

However, because of various reasons, when they cannot be as their wishes, the lover will be suspicious and jealous, and starts to argue, noise, and even want to destroy each other.

In real life, lovers are common to face because of money, real estate, family pressure and other problems. In the final analysis, it is difficult for both people to have the courage to resist risks.

This is the cause of human nature and the benefit.

On the other hand, between husband and wife, there are rare situations because of disputes and tearing.

The "Golden Wedding" quarreled with his wife Wenli for most of his life, but in his later years, he lamented his son:

"I have been with your mother for so many years, and I have played it, and I am divided, but we have a very delicious taste."

I didn't understand this sentence at the beginning. I moved to the situation when I passed the situation.

It turned out that the hormones that survived in the early days of love, the running -in and tolerance of those infiltrated in trivial time was the emergence of really love and moving.

The older generation often says: between husband and wife, like teeth and tongue, the days have been long, and it is inevitable to bump.

But how can there be reason to separate because of a temporary contradiction?

No matter how much you can, communicate well, and still be able to resolve;

No matter how difficult the dilemma, facing together, you can always live.

Those enviable couples have always been firmly not let go after countless tests.

I have heard a word: I am easy to be obsessed with the heart, and it is easy to keep love.

For many people, tempted is the instinct for a while, and the mind means the adherence of a lifetime.

In the current increasingly impetuous emotional world, it is precious to salvage a sense of responsibility and trust.

If you meet a lover who is willing to give you marriage and commitment, you must cherish it.

Because, love at first sight, it is difficult to love each other for a long time;

The heart of the lit is not as good as the heart in the fireworks.

Become a lover, always becoming more happy and touching than becoming a lover.

Click [watching], I hope you and I can meet the TA who can work together for a lifetime.

Author | Zhuxi, love reading, love life.

Picture | Visual China

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