People with this personality have a strong ability to "love", and it is easier to be happy

Hello everyone, this is KY author Alex.

Two days ago I went to see a friend who was in Gap Year. She said to me, "I didn't do anything this year, I went to the resume to find a job, and no one contacted me at all dozens of companies. Later, I went to the mountainous area to teach. happy."

Strangely, there is no complaint in her narrative. On the contrary, I can see from her inadvertent smile when she speaks that she is really happy now.

She rarely doubts herself, and she always seems to have a steady and stable sense of happiness. Even without the affirmation and outstanding achievements of the outside world, she always thought that her life and the current life were "good enough."

In contrast, I am a lack of happiness, and I often doubt myself. Even if people are recognized, the satisfaction always disappears quickly.

After meeting with her, I have been thinking: Is there a "happy personality" in the world? Those who have this personality are easier to feel happy in any situation.

After checking a large circle of information and documents, I found that there is really a personality trait that is closely related to happiness.

So today I want to share with you what I found in this way, which can bring us a stable and lasting happiness personality characteristics -The Light Triad.

What is a bright personality?

The light personality is also known as The Light Triad, which contains belief in human nature, humanitarianism, and personality traits that conform to Kant -style philosophy (Kaufman et al., 2019).

Faith in Humanity, that is, believes that most people are kind and trusted. This positive cognition for people will allow us to look at others from a good perspective and do not excessively defense to others.

Although the word humanitarian sounds a bit abstract, in fact, in simple terms, Humanism means respect for everyone's dignity and value, and believes that every life is worthy of being treated well.

The last characteristic of the bright personality is Kantism. Kant once said: "Man is the purpose, not means." People who advocate Kantism will not be alienated in modern life, nor will they regard others or themselves as functional tools. (Reply to "alienation" to the public account and view the relevant articles of the alienation of people.)

The bright personality represents a "real friendly person in daily life", and friendliness is its core.

So, what does a person with a bright personality look like in life?

In general, a person who is in line with the characteristics of the bright personality has positive assumptions about others and the world. Even if it is occasionally harmed, the inner world of the TAs has always maintained a stable sense of security and comfort — the source -source The positive beliefs of TAs.

When getting along with others, the TAs are willing to give to understand the attempts of others, respect the boundaries and principles of others, do not evaluate them at will, and at the same time, they can sincerely share their feelings and are willing to open their own hugs.

TAs believe that life is valuable, so the TAs also believe in their value and think that they and others are both individuals worth treating well. Therefore, in their lives, the TAs are pursuing a state of dignity. TAs will respect others with respect, and they will also ask others to respect themselves, and they will not bear them when others trample on their dignity.

The TAs also pursue the "completely" "" overall "human experience. They will not regard themselves as work tools, nor will they excessively pursue material and consumption.

Why are people with bright personality more likely to get happiness?

Bright personality will bring us 6 unexpected advantages.

1. Believe in your self -worthy

People with a bright personality have a firm sense of self -worth. The value of the TAs is not only based on external achievements and evaluations of others, but also rarely confirms self -worth by comparing with others. TAs their self -esteem and self -love, and they will treat others like this.

Active psychological research has found that self -value can bring us stable self -esteem and happiness.

2. Loyal to yourself

For people with bright personality, winning in competition is not the most important, and a person's authenticity is more important. TAs are unwilling to exchange their own true nature for benefits. Therefore, even in a high -pressure environment, the TAs can be keenly perceived their feelings, expressing their true views frankly without avoiding possible conflicts.

A person with true nature can always experience the existence of "me", so the TAs usually have a strong sense of presence, sense of life, and psychological happiness.

3. Willing to embrace unknown and uncertainty

Our Openness to Experience is a very core dimension in personality. Psychologist Ziapour (2018) and others discovered that it is related to our positive emotions, overall happiness, and life satisfaction.

People with a bright personality have a basic trust in the world and others. This trust makes TAs believe that the world and others are generally friendly, or they are better than evil. You can survive from the injury.

Therefore, the TAs have positive curiosity about unknown things. TAs do not need to overcome psychological obstacles, and they can try to challenge themselves. Therefore, TAs will get many opportunities for self -growing. 4. Can get satisfaction from helping others

The core of the bright personality is friendly, and friendship refers to the regard of others and themselves as a whole, knowing how to dedicate, willing to help others, and more altruistic behavior. In addition, when I see others in crisis, the degree of acceptance, compassion, and empathy of people with a bright personality (Gerymski & Krok, 2019). Therefore, in daily life, TAs often give people around the people who do not ask for help.

Studies have found that when we do not ask for help from others, our inner satisfaction will increase significantly (Mogilner & Norton (2016), and we are more likely to feel good faith from others (CANTER et al., 2017).

5. With a healthier defense mechanism

When we encounter negative events, our defense mechanism is started. Most people use defense methods to be negative, such as emotional isolation (turn off all emotional switches to avoid mental unpleasantness).

Studies have found that light personality is related to the positive and mature defense methods (Richardson & Boag, 2016), and people with bright personality will be more inclined to use humor and subligation to cope with unpleasant emotions. This kind of response is healthier, so that people do not leave psychological hazards in the face of reality.

Therefore, people with bright personality traits are more positive for the wrong attitude.

Psychologist Cohen said, "People with bright personality traits tend to feel more guilt, but this is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, this guilt is a healthy guilt, like a one The inner warning lights that guide us to do things correctly to help us act in a more appropriate way. "

6. A strong "ability to love others"

A study for online dating software Tinder found that people with high personality scores are more likely to use social software to seek deep long -term relationships instead of short -term pleasure. Meet your needs (for example, instrumental sex) (sevi & doğruyol, 2020).

People with a bright personality can deal with the relationship sincerely, and it is easier to have in -depth connection with others. In intimate relationships, TAs also have fewer tendency to avoid evasion attachment and anxiety attachment (Kauffman et al., 2019). The possessive desire and control desire are not strong, and the personal boundaries and principles of their partners are respecting their partners.

The love given by the TAs is not restricted to a form, but is constantly changing according to the needs of the partner's needs and relationships. It may include romantic love (Eros love), affectionate love, and unconditional love ( agape love).

How can we work hard,

Always approaching the bright personality?

Although the personality has a certain degree of innate decisiveness (reply to "spiritual embryo" to the background, and check "the relevant popular science of the spiritual embryo in life"), Kaufman said: "In our life, the personality has certain plasticity. I think that personality is a combination of habits, a state of thinking, behavior, and feeling, and we can build new habits by striving. "

How can we break through the negative cognition of ourselves, others and the world, and keep approaching the bright personality? Look at the 4 Tips below:

Tip1: Believe in good

Believe in the friendliness of the world is the starting point of bright personality. Belief, especially positive beliefs, itself can bring positive emotions such as hope, and it is also a form of happiness.

We can choose to adjust our beliefs. If you find that you have some negative beliefs, you can loosen your beliefs through the practice of "finding evidence".

Find a piece of paper to write down your negative beliefs, and then divide the paper into two parts. Write some evidence that "your belief is real", and write some evidence that "your belief is not necessarily absolutely real" on the right. When you deliberately find, you may find that the original belief is not absolute.

Then you can implant your positive beliefs by guiding the positive evidence to give yourself positive evidence.

TIP2: Pursue and practice good

Paying love is one of the most important manifestations of bright personality. A person full of love is powerful. When we have the ability to "pay for rewards", we can continue to realize love. Instead of being afraid of the love that others give us, we will be deprived.

Learn to pay more about it, and pay to more people and more life. We will also have the opportunity to meet more good faith, and then encourage each other's positive beliefs.

Tip3: Keep alert to people's alienation

Human alienation is a great proposition. In simple terms, "people live less like individuals." Originally, buying things was to serve the needs of people. Now consumer culture has made buying a kind of abduction to people -this is an alienation. Human nature is the "energy source" of bright personality. We must often feel our own human nature and be with our own human nature, so that we will have the strength to self and others. TIP4: Pursue a state of dignity

Life with dignity is not necessarily rich. Now many people complain that society does not give people dignity and cannot help themselves, and forgets that because they are pursuing consumerism, they have to join games without dignity.

But a dignified life is not necessarily poverty. There are still many people who can find one that allows themselves to feel respected working lifestyle. With your own creativity, even if you are very busy, it is not an inner roll.

Finally, I want to say that happiness is a verb. If happiness is pursued as a result, then you are likely to be disappointed. But when you embrace yourself and the people around you, happiness is a state of naturally being felt.

Go to love, not waiting for being loved. You will be closer to happiness.

References:

Kaufman, S.B., Yaden, D.B., Hyde, E.& Tsukayama, E.(2019). The Light vs. Dark Triad of Personality: Contrasting Two Very Different Profiles of Human Nature. Front Psychol.Sevi,B., Doğruyol,B (2020). Looking from the bright sign: The Light Triad Predicts Tinder for Love.Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 37 (7) .canter, D., YOUNGS, D. & Yaneva, 2017, 2017, M.va, 2017, M.va, 2017, M.va, 2017, 2017, Maneva, 2017, 2017, Maneva, 2017, 2017,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7, yaneva, maneva, maneva. Towards a measure of kindness: An exploration of a neglected interpersonal trait.Personality and Individual Differences, 106, 15-20.Mogilner, C., & Norton, M. I. (2016). Time, money, and happiness. Current Opinion in Psychology, 10, 12-16.nasco, S. A., & Marsh, K. L. (1999). Gaining Control Through Counterfactual Thinking.Personality and Socialchology Bulletin, 25 (5), 557-569.gerymski, K., K., K., K., K., K., K. K., K., K., K. K. K. K. ). Psychometric properties and validation of the Polish adaptation of the Light Triad Scale.Current Issues in Personality Psychology 7(4):341-354.Ziapour, A., Khatony, A., Jafari, F., & Kianipour, N. (2018). Correlation of Personality Traits with Happiness among University Students.Journal of Clinical and Diagnostic Research.Richardson, E. N., & Boag, S. (2016). Offensive defenses: The mind beneath the mask of the dark triad traits.Personality and Individual Differences, 92, 148–152.

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