Tanabata still quarreled?Master of marriage teach you to fall in love!

Today is a very special day -Tanabata, because the meaning is good, so many couples choose to register to get married on this day. The topic of love also frequently appears on the hot search.

However, in this warm and romantic day, a heavy topic about love also quietly entered people's attention- "the post -90s acquaintance 7 days after the certificate will be left after March."

This incident has caused heated discussions among netizens. Some people say that they have long been accustomed to the "fast food love" of the post -90s. It is also said that the views of young people now dare not compliment; some people say that their friends know that they have known a week's flash marriage for 3 months.

Is it too young? Still the contemporary view of love has long changed?

Some people say that people in the past will think about how to repair it, and now people will only want to change new ones. Probably this is the crux of contemporary "fast food love".

How to solve such a problem so that you and your lover can accompany you? Love Ben is an art that needs lifelong learning. Today, the master of marriage and love, John Gotman, teach you how to express love to your lover, how to accompany the other half to the old.

01

Learn to praise

Xiao Luo is a doctor and a workaholic with his wife. This year, his wife brought him to the hospital where he worked with his child with a loving meal.

The wife thought he would be surprised, but he didn't expect to get in exchange for "why do you do this? You make me embarrassed."

At this moment, the phone in the office rang, and Xiao Ronaldo took the phone and immediately changed to a warm and friendly face. After hanging up the phone, he looked at his wife with anger, which made his wife more discouraged. Soon, they were preparing to divorce.

People are often like this, leaving their good temper to strangers, but left their worst temper to the closest person.

John Gotman said that in order to maintain a valuable and long -term emotional life, love and praise are two very important factor.

Although the happy couple sometimes feels lost due to the personal shortcomings of their spouse, they can still notice that the person who marry him is worthy of respect. When the husband and wife did not have this feeling at all, their husband and wife relationship came to an end.

If you can't think of the advantages of the other half now, you can't say praise, then you can also try to remember the past, remember those beautiful times, such as the perfect wedding, and the honeymoon experience is incredible.

Love and praise are very important for maintaining a long -term happiness husband and wife, because they can avoid contempt (one of the four knights that murder the marriage) to become the main theme of the life of husband and wife. Despise is a corrosion agent. Over time, it will damage the bond between husband and wife.

Just remind yourself to remember the advantages of your spouse, just as you can grasp the shortcomings of the other party, you can prevent a happy marriage deterioration. The reason is simple: love and praise is a contempt of the detoxification agent.

If you have a kind of admiration for your spouse, when you are inconsistent with each other's opinions, you are unlikely to hate each other. Therefore, you love and praise the couple to avoid the lash of the Four Knights of the Doomsday.

02

Care

Many boys always put "your girl's mind is really difficult to understand", "I am a straight man, I can't", but in fact, if you really love someone, you may not be appropriate, but you must They do their best to do it and full of love.

The most direct way to express love between lover is to care for each other. So how do boys care for girls?

In terms of physiological period, many girls will be irritable and irritable, and some people will be depressed. This causes the male compatriots to have a headache for a while. Sad parties, I said you have it, isn't it easy to overcome these?

If you communicate with the other half, you are not far from the breakup.

From the perspective of evolution, women's physiological cycles meet their long -term needs. She needs to find a man who loves her and can protect her and her child so that she can survive and raise the next generation.

Therefore, the rhythm of women's fluctuations makes her sometimes prefer a strong man, and sometimes a mild man. At this time, smart men knew that by showing different characteristics in physiology and emotions to cooperate with women's rhythm.

John Gotman made it clear in "Communication of Love" that when you two go home after watching the night movie, the woman will want you to show the characteristics of the protector. At other times, a woman may want you to show like a raise, be able to sit on the sofa with her, listen to her feelings, embrace her gently and say to her: I feel very sad now, let's talk about it. Let's talk about I want to know what you are thinking now and how you feel now.

Of course, in addition to such a special period, there is also a very important point of care for the other half, that is, do not interfere with her circle.

Many men think that after women are with themselves, they cannot have other friends who can only be with themselves. Such ideas are terrible for women.

Research on domestic violence shows that some violent men are often jealous of their partners' girlfriends. When these men feel threatened, they try to restrict and control their partner's social interaction and try to isolate her from other friends.

A good man will not be threatened because of this, and he will not hate her girlfriends, and of course he will not try to monitor whom she is with. When she needs, her girlfriend can listen to her voice. Therefore, girlfriends not only help her, but also help you. Girlfriends can also help her handle various strong emotions at any time. They also provided her opinion and helped her make decisions, and they would clarify her feelings and needs.

Studies have shown that the possibility of women without friends will increase by 66%. So the more women's friends, the healthier and the longer she will live.

03

A successful date

For couples, the most important thing about Tanabata is date. Some people will share a good mood all day in the circle of friends, and some people are hidden. If you ask her why she does not share, she may say: The date is too bad, we will probably break up.

How to make a date to make both parties happy? In fact, another way to show a good man's image when dating.

John Geterman teaches you the following tips in "Communication of Love":

The key to successful dating is not how much you spent, but because you have to consider her in advance and put her in the center of the date. You can completely plan a few appointments, such as picnic, hiking, and free visiting museums or participating in cultural activities. You have to be creative, interesting, and planning a different date.

For example, some activities mixed with adventure and horror elements are very suitable for the first date, such as roller coasters or bungee jumping. The physiological reactions of people are very similar to people's physiological reactions to sexual arousal.

These two are often confusing. Hormones also play a very important role in it. When participating in a brand new, exciting and a little dangerous activity, the hormones released by people are the same as hormones released when they fall in love.

Therefore, a little excited and adventure activity can not only awaken your central nervous system, but also evoke your love for each other.

Dating is also a process of continuous dialogue and continuous understanding of each other. When dating, you can ask her interests, enthusiasm, dreams and desires. You can also tell her where to travel and what she likes to do.

You can also ask some good friends about her, talk about their common hobbies and why she likes her good friends. You can also talk about her family or her pet.

You can also ask her where to go to school, and then ask her what she is most interested in when she is in school. But you have to remember that there is a clear difference between dialogue and interrogation, so you must listen to her answer sincerely, instead of asking questions like interviews.

In addition to the body language, the clean and tidy appearance is also important, and the gentleman's demeanor is even more important. Opening the door for her, walking outside the road, and maintaining the same pace with her can show your ability to protect her. You must constantly think about how a good man will do so that you are more likely to get the chance to get the next date.

The above is the suggestion given you by John Gotman, a master of marriage and love. Go and try it!

Life is always sad and happy, but fortunately you have you around you. May the lovers in the world eventually become dependents, I hope we can spend a beautiful Qixi Festival!

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