Become the appreciation of the other party, make love often fresh

How to keep love fresh? I believe that this is a problem that many people need to think about. Regarding love, whether it is love at first sight or long -term love, the passion, sweetness, and likes, generally there are deadlines. A period of feelings can be maintained, and it is more that both parties need to work together.

Many people will have a few misunderstandings because of their long love. One of the misunderstandings is that since we have been together for so long, as long as we keep the status quo, there will be no problems between us. However, a person needs what a person needs at different stages of the growth process, and the problems they face are different. Therefore, the love of both parties also needs to be continuously constructed.

Another misunderstanding is that since you love me, you should be responsible for me for a lifetime. When one person needs more and more and the other is unable to load, they may hate because of love. We will find that if the passion between the two people slowly retreats, there is nothing else to fill, or it is not built in time. One of them is constantly requested, and this love will begin to fade, and then disappear.

There is a principle of value interchange in love. The so -called value exchange principle means that two people attracted each other because they have the value recognized by each other. So we don't want to doubt our value, while asking the other party to like ourselves, which will lead to weaker attractiveness. This value interchange does not mean how much money is provided, or how valuable gifts are given to each other, and more are emotional or emotional recognition, respect, and value.

Many people think that the two sides will attract each other, so as to build a close relationship, and even enter the palace of marriage. The main thing is to find someone similar to themselves, but in fact, you should find someone who complement himself. The love between Qian Yanshu and Yang Yan is a complementary example. Qian Yanshu has no life skills, and has always been taken care of by Yang Yan. This kind of complementary relationship that "I can't, you don't have me" can make love go further and longer.

If we want to keep love fresh, we will be the admirable, supporters and confidants of each other.

If two people dislike each other, they cannot appreciate everything they do, let alone the supporter of the other party. So we appreciate each other in our hearts. I once encountered an interesting case. The husband in the case has a strong ability to make money. His wife is studying finance, but because of family division of labor, he has become a full -time housewife. She agrees with her husband's ability to make money, but she still wants to do something for her husband. Later, she secretly took her money to invest, and made a lot of money in two years. I asked her, "How do you plan to use this money?"

She said that she would be a backup, and what difficulties her husband would support him as soon as possible. I said to her, "This feeling between you is very good. You become a supporter of your husband, you use a strange way to achieve this." She appreciated her husband's support for the whole home. Behavioral, I want to make money by myself to give my husband more practical support. The foundation that husband and wife can support each other is to appreciate each other.

In addition, we need to be the confidant of the other party. The so -called confidant is that a person in this world knows you, no matter what you say, he can understand immediately. You can show him the fragile side and talk to him some bad experiences. He will not have a hint of dislikes, won't have the idea of ​​leaving you. You are very close.

Many times, we hope that the other party can change according to our wishes, and hope that he can become the one we expect. But the effective way of preservation of love is to accept the true appearance of the other party, and to appreciate each other, support each other, and become confidants of the other party, so that each other feels that they are important, unique, and loved in this relationship.

If you want to keep love fresh, we still need to know a few tips.

We can create some shared time and leave photos or videos. In the future, there will be contradictions or conflicts between the two parties, and even when divorce, these photos or videos will help rebuild intimate relationships. The wall of a divorce registration office reads such a slogan: "We have made an appointment and finished together for a lifetime. Do you forget your dear?" Many people will re -consider divorce after seeing such a slogan. Because this sentence can remind people of the good time, so that the two people in contradictions and conflicts can temporarily calm down and think about whether this relationship has reached an irreversible level.

We can make each other's interaction a habit. Over time, two people will form a common habit, so that both parties can be more comfortable in this relationship.

Two people from different families live together. Due to different views, aesthetics or habits, conflicts are very likely. Facing the conflict, we need to set a time point for ourselves, and we must reconcile at a certain moment, which is very helpful for maintaining feelings.

There is a couple who has been married for many years. Although they are always noisy, they can be seen from their eyes that their love for each other is deep. The degree of love cannot be disguised. I asked them how they kept this state for so many years. One of the friends said: "No matter what the quarrel we are, we will not let the unpleasant emotions overnight, and we will definitely use intimacy as the end. Whether we want to settle at the time, the time point is here, we must comply with this agreement. "

Therefore, obeying the common contract is also one of the techniques of love preservation. Only with two people who keep the credit can keep the emotions keep it. If one of them often violates the contract, the other party will lose trust in this person sooner or later and lose confidence in this relationship. In addition to the spirit of the contract, there must be a flow of love in intimacy. Some people will say, "I have been maintaining a dying marriage, and the two people are like walking dead." This is because the two sides have no emotional interaction, and such a marriage name has died. Sometimes we instinctively avoid the problem. For example, after some women have contradictions with their husbands, they will put most of their energy on their children; some men will put most of their energy on work in order to escape the contradiction between husband and wife. If we want to continue to maintain this relationship, don't wait or look forward to the other party to solve the problem, we can take the initiative.

Each intimate relationship needs to be maintained. If you live in the same day and do not solve problems in the marriage in a timely manner, love is easily killed by flatness and contradictions. Therefore, we need to be the appreciation, supporters and confidants of the other party, let the love of each other flow, and keep love fresh.

——This selected from "Reconstruction of intimacy"

Hu Shenzhi

Press: Tiandi Press

Price: 58.00 yuan

Publishing time: 2022.7

Book number: ISBN 978-7-5455-7060-1

Editor's Choice

☆ Happiness comes from intimate relationships. This book allows you to see the thunder that you do n’t need to step on in the real cases, repair the intimacy, and complete the second growth

☆ The author deeply cultivates the relationship between family relationships, parent -child relationships, interpersonal relationships, etc., and keeps on the front line of psychological counseling all year round.

☆ 48 psychological lessons, help you block the negative emotions of family members, say goodbye to consuming relationships, see yourself, see your family, and make your family nourish

☆ Based on the in -depth study of tens of thousands of Chinese families in 20 years, it is the psychological course that is most suitable

Editor in this issue: Wang Jie Trial: Li Yun

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