Nearly 60 % of the college students interviewed thought that they couldn't forget the other party after breaking up

China Youth Network, Beijing, July 22 (Reporter Li Huaxi) Couples will inevitably break up due to certain problems in love, and love is ending. After breaking up, some people can't forget each other and want to save this relationship. So, you can't forget the other party after breaking up. Should I restore it? Some people think that there should be no regrets no matter what the results are; others think that after breaking up, it is better to let go instead of recovering entanglement.

Recently, the Chinese Youth Network Campus News Agency launched a questionnaire survey for 17,697 college students across the country for "Can't forget the other party recover after breaking up." 41.79%.

I can't forget that the other party is going to recover after breaking up, no matter what the result is, there is no regret

"If you have not let go of his predecessor in your heart, you should restore it. Regardless of the final result, there is no regret in his heart." Chongqing college student Yang Yi once saw a sentence on social software: "Chasing, do not experience despair, you In the future, I will think that you missed her. "He felt very reasonable. A person would miss a lot of people throughout his life. If you don't want to miss the other person, let go and give himself at least one to explain.

He did that. Yang Yi admitted that he met his girlfriend in his freshman year and later determined his love relationship. Although there are few contradictions in the first year, there are more and more contradictions. Because he was busy with his studies and did not reply to his girlfriend's information in time, this led his girlfriend to think that he was left out.

Later, for some reasons, his girlfriend was angry, and his girlfriend sent a message to break up. "We didn't say a word for three or four days after the breakup, and I didn't respond."

Later, Yang Yi felt that she should save the other party. After all, she paid too much about this relationship, and it was not easy to come together. A few days later, he wrote a letter to his girlfriend and asked her on the fourth day when his girlfriend broke up. After meeting, the two cried.

"I can feel that she doesn't want to break up. Sometimes I say that breaking up may be angry. If I meet a girlfriend who just loves face, she is not convinced. If I don’t go to her, I really miss it." Yang Yi said Essence

Dong Yue, a college student in Shandong, also believes that if you can't forget it after breaking up, you can restore it. However, he felt that the premise of recovering is to analyze why you broke up before. If you can restore it, you can solve the problems when you break up before. If you ca n’t solve it, you will repeat the same mistakes.

He said that when you are in love, you ca n’t talk about playing. Since you are talking, you have to marry. If you have a hand, if the two can see the future, you can reunite. If you do n’t see the future, you will break up.

"My point is that if the objective conditions are allowed, if you can go down, you can't forget it. If you can't see the future, simply say that it will be divided sooner or later." Dong Yue said Essence

After breaking up, instead of continuing to recover the entanglement, it is better to let go and commemorate the other party in my heart

Xiao Ting at Jiangxi University believes that he can't forget the other party after breaking up, and should not be recovered. She said that in a relationship, the efforts of both parties need to be paid, guardianship and trust. Now that they broke up before, no matter what the reason, both parties were disappointed with this relationship to a certain extent. Disappointed was accumulated. She could not use love to resolve before. She did not believe that she would dispel it in the future.

"The reason why I can't forget, maybe I still look forward to this person, and I don't forget the sweet thoughts before." She said that the damage of the breakup is still there. She is gambling, she won't dare to try, dare not believe it, because she is afraid of the next time the two sides are arguing with red ears, fearing the harm of disapproval in the next time, and fear of disappointment after expectations. "So, instead of continuing to be entangled, it is better to let go, you can't forget, just keep it in your heart."

He suggested that couples should let go of this relationship as soon as possible after breaking up. Love is not the whole of life. He should focus on himself, enrich himself, improve himself, make himself busy, and avoid thinking. "We also have dear family members, close friends, the career pursuing, and life is so beautiful. I believe that our heart will not be empty because of that person."

Liaoning college student Jin Jing is consistent with Xiao Ting's point of view. She felt that since she couldn't forget but still chose to break up, it showed that there must be other reasons that could not continue at that time. In order to avoid repeating the same mistakes, it was best not to restore it.

Experts: There are many psychological problems caused by the breakup, and the analysis of the situation is required.

Liu Xiaolong is a full -time psychological teacher at the University of Tarim's Psychological Health Education and Consultation Center, and a national second -level psychological counselor. In her work, she often exposed to consultation cases due to love breakup. For "I can't forget each other after breaking up, should I restore it?" This topic, she believes that she should analyze the situation.

She said that the first situation is that if the reason for the breakup is that each other's personality is not mature enough or some special circumstances, it was not able to deal with some realistic things, but with the maturity of physiological, experience of experience, and changes in the environment of the environment If the feelings are in and willing, they can get along with each other.

The second case is that if one party really does not love or no longer puts in love anymore, then even if the other party cannot forget, there is no need to recover. The unforgettable side can find a way to find psychological counseling to adjust the self, and gradually achieve the inner interpretation by understanding the way of self and self -emotion. After the whole installation, re -on the road to find the other half that suits you. The third case is that if the reason for the breakup is the problem of the personality defects (obstacles) of both parties or one of them, then please be fortunate to be separated from the two. The state of entanglement may make the two sides feel incompete with each other's situation. After separation, both parties can adjust the state through psychological counseling. The party with personality defects (obstacles) needs long -term consultation or treatment to stabilize themselves and improve the function of personality.

The fourth case is that if there is a moral problem in one side, the party that you can't forget after the breakup need to help the help of psychological counseling to see what you are nostalgic for each other. Under the circumstances, the reasons for deep and unable to extricate themselves are still self -analyzed and rebuilt themselves.

The fifth situation is that one party has invested too much time, energy, and money in love. I do n’t give up the breakup. I feel that the other party has lost too much and psychological imbalance. This kind of psychology can explain it as the weakness of human nature. Most people want to receive the corresponding returns while paying in the relationship, but this is not really love; The reaction is a logical reason for itself, and it is actually a reaction of the parties' fear of separation. After distinguishing it clearly, decide whether to continue to invest.

In addition, when Liu Xiaolong was in psychological counseling, he would generally encounter a breakup problem caused by unsafe attachment.

She said that the unsafe attachment consultant is often easy to get out or unable to extricate itself in a period of love, because in the early years that there was no safe attachment relationship in parent -child relationships, it would make the consultant easily involved in love relationships very much involved in very involved in love relationships. Deep, causing inability to separate normally.

Liu Xiaolong analysis said that this is actually because some people have put a lot of emotional needs in the love relationship in love in love, which aggravate or gives more emotional content in it. Once the attachment of love is formed, it often often becomes the attachment of love, often it often becomes the attachment of love, often it often becomes a love relationship. It is more difficult for people with security to accept the break of attachment and the pain caused by separation.

She believes that in this case, the reason why I can't forget the past and want to recover may often be too much to continue to attach a person who can be trusted, or too unwilling to accept the change of this person and the disappearance of this sense of attachment. From the sense of trust and the sense of security that have been established to become a sense of lack of trust, this may be the most difficult part of them, and even a feeling of being betrayed or abandoned.

"I recommend that young people who have psychological problems after breaking up have to find psychological counselors for guidance." Liu Xiaolong said that through consulting, it can help the consultant to see what his true internal needs are, and see that the lover once gave himself the safety of his own safety And help, and slowly accept a person's transformation and re -selection, and in the end you can see your future direction, and return to himself. "If you have the courage to face the future and have the ability to make new choices in life, you will gradually get out of pain and dilemma, and usher in a new life!" Quiet is a pseudonym)

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