"Congratulations to your WeChat list and finally don't have him anymore"

QQ mailbox often receives various renewal reminders, informing the service that the service is about to expire and automatically renew until it takes the initiative to cancel.

I suddenly thought that to some extent, is most of our interpersonal relationships similar to the "automatic renewal, unless the active cancellation" model?

For example, one day you accidentally see the dynamics of friends who have occasionally saw a long time in the circle of friends, and it is similar to receiving the "renewal reminder".

And if you take the initiative to block dynamics to someone, or delete your friends unilaterally, it is actually like actively pressing the "canceling automatic renewal key" for this relationship.

Some software that brings us convenient or comfortable to use experience, we usually have always renewed the automatic renewal,

And those software we just want to experience disposable services, we usually cancel the original automatic renewal after paying.

This attitude can actually be used in dealing with interpersonal relationships.

For those relationships that make people feel comfortable and get along with each other, automatically renew the default,

For those relationships that feel bad or have no intersection, they can take the initiative to "cancel the renewal."

Before chatting with colleagues and talking about the handling habits of the WeChat contact list, our attitude coincides.

She said that now she will consciously handle the list friends who can no longer have intersections, because after comprehensive consideration, they find that such friends have not actually existed in the list.

I said it is coincidental, and I will regularly reduce my social information space.

When we are around us with all kinds of unrelated social information, it is actually easy for us to intentionally or unintentionally speculate on the views of others, and gradually trapped in the eyes of others and fall into internal consumption.

The reduction of social interaction space is actually a process of helping themselves reduce interpersonal internal consumption.

Those interpersonal relationships that will make us continue to consume, just like we only wanted to experience the content of disposable services, and as a result, forgot to cancel the default automatic renewal, which caused a deduction to secretly secretly secretly.

Perhaps it seems nothing, but long -term dragging down, it will actually be a small loss cost.

This is a bit similar to that when we buy things, we often only look at the cost of buying, and it is easy to ignore the cost of holding and maintenance.

For example, when buying a car, it is mainly considered to consider the price and fuel consumption, but if the depreciation and the annual parking and insurance premiums are calculated in the later period, the comprehensive comparison will find that it is far more expensive than the car.

The same is true of social networking. In the past, the wider connections I thought, the better, maybe I would come in handy one day.

But then I slowly discovered that if the cost of maintaining social networking is just considered in the cost of privacy exposure. In fact, there are many social relationships, and I really don't need much.

I have seen a post on the Internet and asked, why I did n’t take the initiative to contact each other, and the relationship was faded.

The following comments say:

"Because for each other, there have been people who have always made him want to contact more than you."

This sentence reminds me of one of my friends. For a while, we chatted frequently and often asked for meals.

I read our latest chat history.

About half a year ago, I said that I saw a good restaurant and went to go together on the weekend. She said that there was something next time on the weekend. I said yes.

It wasn't until I saw her circle of friends who had a meal with others, and I realized that the meaning of the phrase "next time" was actually "waiting for me next time."

And when I no longer actively shared and invited, the dialog box between us gradually sank.

In the past, I might not help but reflect, "Where did I mess with her?", "Do she think I am not worth making friends?" ......

But now these inexplicable harmful thoughts have disappeared.

Because I found that this matter is actually as easy to understand as canceling the automatic renewal, and it does not need to spend too much effort to study who is the problem.

Our relationship is just to stop automatic renewal, but our respective life always has other things worthy of our automatic renewal.

It's easier.

Next time, I can also take the initiative to cancel the renewal.

Of course, handling interpersonal relationships is not as fast as the operation software options.

Active "canceling renewal" is not the same as pulling black or deleting friends.

More importantly, it is the retracement of psychological expectations.

Because expectation is also an investment in emotional costs.

Like canceling the automatic renewal, no longer continue to look forward to a bad relationship,

I think it is difficult to consume inward because of what.

- END -